


Us gays got to stick together

by Nonbinary_Connor



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alluras mom died when she as young, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Autistic Keith (Voltron), Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Matt Holt, Coming Out, Coran is her step father, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), F/F, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Gender Dysphoria, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron) Has Two Moms, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Hunk would kill for lance, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Langst, M/M, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Past Matt Holt/Shiro, Present shiro/ adam, Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Self-Esteem Issues, The Author Regrets Nothing, Trans Female Character, Trans Lance (Voltron), mostly shitpost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-03 00:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 32,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15807324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonbinary_Connor/pseuds/Nonbinary_Connor
Summary: Sharpshooter: uwu what's thisLaundrymatt: owoSharpshoot: m-MattLaundrymatt: l-lanceSharpshooter: O//////O M-Matt senpaiLaundrymatt: U///////UGremlin: cursed imageTakashit: why MattSunshine: Lance noAllarming: stopLaundrymatt: this is biphobiaSharpshooter: I agree





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fun facf: Most of the things that happen to lance have happened to me

_ Move I’m Gay _

sharpshooter: oh my god you won’t what happened today

Gremlin: what

sharpshooter: so i was in Mrs. Mimes class and she was calling roll and she called my dead name.

sharpshooter: So i said “I go by lance” 

sharpshooter: and then she said “how’d you get Lance out of Mora”

Sunshine: WHAT

sharpshooter: wait! It gets worst! I was in the next class and i was talking with a girl about it and SHE said that Mrs. Mimes made likea really rude face and also that she said that she heard me said “I’m a boy” when i said “i like the name”

sharpshooter: like i am a boy but OH NO IM NOT READY TO COME OUT

Gremlin: mrs. mimes is gonna get it

takashit: lance are you okay?

sharpshooter: Im scared to go to school tomorrow haha

takashit: Lance, you’ll be fine

Sunshine: i will PROTECT

Laundrymatt: mrs. mimes is a bitch

 

_ sunshine>sharpshooter _

Sunshine: how you feeling?

sharpshooter: im really angry and sad ??

sharpshooter: i came homw and Mama was like “Mora this” and “Mora that”

Sunshine: do you want me to make you cookies

sharpshooter: pls

Sunshine: <3

sharpshooter: <3

 

Move, Im gay

sharpshooter: okay but the girl i was talking about did use he/him pronouns and shes pretty chill

sharpshooter: ima add her

_ sharpshooter added Ramen _

takashit:hey Romelle 

Ramen: oh hey

Gremlin: i have a plan

Gremlin: Keith, Hunk. come over

Samaria: why

takashit: guys,,,,no

LaundryMatt: YES

Ramen: YES

Sunshine: i’ll be over in 10

Gremlin: k

Allarming: LONCE

Allarming: LONCE IM GONNA KICK MRS. MIMES ASS

Allarming: oh. Hey Romelle

Ramen: sup

 

_ Ramen>sharpshooter _

Ramen: LANCE

sharpshooter: hmm?

Ramen: HWY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE FRIENDS WITH ALLURA

sharpshooter: ??

Ramen: I’VE HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON HER FOR YEARS!

sharpshooter: oh

sharpshooter: i ship it :))

Ramen: lance NO

 

_ Allarming> sharpshooter _

Allarming: okay ive had a crush on romelle for years thank you

sharpshooter: ASK HER THE FUCK OUT

Allarming: maybe

sharpshooter: DO! IT!

 

_ sharpshooter>Sunshine _

sharpshooter: Hunk help

sharpshooter: veronica and  Agathe wanna have have a girls night out with mama

sharpshooter: so i’ll have to dress  _ Nice _

Sunshine: oh no bro

Sunshine: do you want me to kidnap you?

sharpshooter: do you want to try to convince mama we should hang out on a school night?

Sunshine: oh, no

sharpshooter: I’mgonna die :))

Sunshine: love you buddie <3

sharpshooter: <3

sharpshooter: gtg ill cry to u when i get back

 

_ Sunshine added Laundrymatt, takashit, ShayShay, Gremlin, Samurai, Allarming, and Ramen to the group chat _

_ Sunshine named the chat LANCE PROTECTION _

Sunshine: our boy is going on a ‘girls’ night out and has to wear something nice

Sunshine: aka a dress or blouse

ShayShay: oh no

Allarming: our poor boy :((

Sunshine: so out job is to CHEER! HIM! UP!

Sunshine: i’ll keep you updated on lance, cause i don’t want y’all to be texting him if he’s sleeping

Sunshine: Here are some of his likes :)

Sunshine: ROSE BOBA TEA

Sunshine: any coffee except black

Sunshine: blue

Sunshine: he’s really good at singing but he’ll never tell you

Sunshine: GET HIM FILM FOR HIS POLAROID OR FILM CAMERA

Sunshine: GO!

 

_ sharpshooter added Sunshine and Gremlin to the chat _

_ sharpshooter named the chat trans dysphorian blues _

sharpshooter: im gonna complain the whole time im out with my fam lol

sharpshooter: ew im wearing a dress LET ME DIE

sharpshooter: I’M GOING TO CRY

sharpshooter: EW EW EW EW EWEW

sharpshooter: Lmao im gonna have a panic attack

sharpshooter: catch me crying in the restaurant

Sunshine: my boy

sharpshooter: mamas looking at me weird brb

Gremlin: don’t die

sharpshooter: OH NO

sharpshooter: “what can i get you ladies?”

sharpshooter: gtg mamas looking at me again

sharpshooter: bruh Veronica thinks i have a crush on Hunk

sharpshooter: “Mora hows it going with Hunk” wink

Sunshine: omg

Gremlin: Oh my god im laughing so hard

sharpshooter: Hunk, im sorry, mama wants us to get married

Sunshine: I’d rather be the flower boy

Gremlin: valid

sharpshooter: Valid

Gremlin: can i be the bridesmaid?

sharpshooter: you gonna have to fight my sisters but sure

Gremlin: the pidgeon always wins :))

Sunshine: i am afraid

Sunshine: tell your sisters to RUN

 

LANCE PROTECTION 

Sunshine: Lances mom thinks me and him are gonna get married omg

ShayShay: :(( i can’t be with a cheater like you

Sunshine: BABE- it-its not what you think

ShayShay: why Hunk? WHY

LaundryMatt: omg

takashit: someone get the popcorn.

Sunshine: i never meant for it to get this far!

ShayShay: im sorry hunk. I don’t love you anymore

Sunshine: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

takashit: that was great

Allarming: *clapping*

Ramen: 10/10 deserves a Tony

Sunshine: *bows*

ShayShay:*Curtsies*

 

Trans dysphorian blues

Sharpshooter: I home and didn’t have a panic attack

 

Move, I’m Gay

sharpshooter: wow im Dead

takashit: me too

Samurai: Shiro your drinking coffee rn

takashit: this is homophobia

Samurai: Adam just read that over his shoulder and is crying

sharpshooter: Adam?

Samurai: the responsible dad

takashit: he literally stayed up till 4am crying over love simon what do you mean the responsible dad

sharpshooter: valid

_ Samurai added ADAM to the chat _

Laundrymatt: adam.

ADAM: Matt.

Laundrymatt: how's it going with,,,,, Takashi

ADAM: good,,,,,,

Sunshine: what is happening

Gremlin: Matt and shiro dated before Adam and Shirk got together

Sunshine: oh,,,,

Laundrymatt: nah Adam and I are good friends

ADAM: we swap embarrassing shiro stories

Takashit: why

ADAM: love you too

Samurai: :)

Takashit: remember when Keith came out to me and I said “I didn't raise no cishet”

Takashit: and he cried

Samurai: SHIRO

Laundrymatt: oh my god

ADAM: TAKASHI OH MY GOD

Allarming: that's amazing

Ramen: okay mood

Sharpshooter: uwu what's this

Laundrymatt: owo

Sharpshoot: m-Matt

Laundrymatt: l-lance

Sharpshooter: O//////O M-Matt senpai

Laundrymatt: U///////U 

Gremlin: cursed image

Takashit: why Matt 

Sunshine: Lance no

Allarming: stop

Laundrymatt: this is biphobia

Sharpshooter: I agree

Sunshine: I can’t believe I haven't added my girlfriend to this chat yet

_ Sunshine added shayshay to the chat _

Shayshay: hey

Allarming: I Stan (1) woman

Shayshay: <3

Sharpshooter:I'm going to bed

Sunshine: Rt

Takashit: bye

Shayshay: rt

Allarming: rt

Gremlin: rt

Laundrymatt: rt

Ramen: rt

ADAM: rt

Samurai: night


	2. uhhh Noot Noot?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had a bad day today so lance is going to suffer sorry children  
> its not all bad though  
> noot noot

_ Move, I’m gay _

ADAM: noot noot

Takshit: NOOT NOOT

Samurai: wtf 

Laundrymatt:  **NOOT NOOT**

Allarming:  **_NOOT NOOT_ **

Gremlin: please stop

Gremlin: lance is whispering noot noot in class over and over

Sharpshooter:  **_NOOT NOOT_ **

Sharpshooter:  **_NOOT NOOT_ **

Sharpshooter: NOOT NOOT

_ Sharpshooter named the chat noot noot _

Gremlin: look at what you’ve done

Sunshine: *sign* Lance,,,,

Sharpshooter: I am the shining star of this chat

Takashit: i’m sorry that's Hunk

Sharpshooter: :0

Sharpshooter: this is biphobia :(

Sunshine: I love you lance

Sharpshooter: Hunk is the only one allowed

ADAM: :(

Sharpshooter: okay and adam

Laundrymatt: :((((

Sharpshooter: and matt

Sharpshooter: everyone else is canceled

Takashit: adam how could you let this happen to me

ADAM: suck it takashit

-

Sharpshooter: 2nd week of school and a teacher has already called me stupid

Sharpshooter:thanks mrs.G i already knew i was stupid you don’t need to rub it in lmao

Gremlin: mrs. G’s gonna get it :)

Sunshine: youre not stupid lance

Takashit: you’re a lot smarter than you think you are

Sharpshooter: sounds fake but okay

Samurai: why did pidge yeet themselves out of class

Samurai: oh. Lance you’re not stupid

Sharpshooter: oh no i can hear the gremlin coming down the hall

Sharpshooter: they have entered the ro

Laundrymatt: wtf did you do pidge don’t hurt my friends

Sunshine: don’t worry they probably murdered Mrs.G and then entered Koala mode.

Laundrymatt: Koala mode?

Sunshine: you know where they wrap their arms and legs around you 

Laundrymatt: oh

Sharpshooter: you are correct

Sharpshooter: pidge didn’t murder Mrs.G but they did enter Koala mode

ADAM: is this normal?

Laundrymatt: basically

ADAM: has anybody else questioned the thiccness of gumballs hips?

Takashit: Adam wtf

ADAM: oh this is a bad time isn’t it

Sharpshooter: Actually that was perfect Adam Pidge laughed so hard  they fell off my back

Sharpshooter: i owe you my life

-

  
  


Gremlin: im at this kids house for reasons and hes watching vines

Gremlin: and by vines i mean the really shitty ones

Gremlin: anyway most of them are transphobic should i fight him now

Sharpshooter: yes

Takashit: usually id say violence is never the answer but this time it is

Allarming: oh shit u have dads approval

Gremlin: uwu

Gremlin: he has been take out

ADAM: delete all evidence

Laundrymatt: i leave for 5 minutes and my sib has killed someone?

Laundrymatt: wow

Laundryatt: you go pidge

Gremlin: :)

-

_ Noot Noot _

Sharpshooter: lol mama yelled at me again and you know how my dysphoria likes that

Sharpshooter: yikes! At the yard mama called me baby girl

Sharpshooter: “Mora, my baby girl, Why’d you fail your test?! Your sister aced it!

Sharpshooter: Be more like your sisters mora

Sharpshooter: Your sisters are smart and responsible

Sharpshooter: no Mora is a disappointment to the McClains

Sharpshooter: time for a fucking relapse

Samurai: Lance ? are you okay?

Sharpshooter: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GROUP CHAT

Takshit: Lance?

 

_ Trans dysphorian blues _

Sharpshooter: RIP Lance McClain

Gremlin: I’m coming over rn be ready

 

_ Laundrymatt>Gremlin _

Laundrymatt: where r u going

Gremlin: Lances

Laundrymatt: why?   
Gremlin: did u read the group chat?

Laundrymatt: Oh. tell him i love him <3

 

_ LANCE PROTECTION _

Gremlin: I’m going over to lance’s

Sunshine: I’m omw with food

Takashit: keep us updated

Allarming: Tell him that we love him

ShayShay: and that he’s important to us

  
  


Pidge knocked on Lance’s front door, repeating ‘Mora’ in their head over and over.

Lance’s twin sister, Agathe, answered the door.

“Katie!”

“Actually, its pidge now, is La-Mora here?”

“Yeah, shes in her room moping. Is Hunk coming?”

“Yeah, don’t be afraid if 12 other people show up.” Pidge says, walking towards Lances room.

Pidge pauses outside, and knocks before opening the door.

Lance is laying on his bed in the dark, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling.

“Go away Ronnie.” Lance groans, not taking his eyes off the stars

“Good thing I’m not Ronnie.”

“Hey pidge.” 

Pidge closes the door and lays down on the bed next to next to Lance. 

“How are you doing buddy?” Lance just groans in response

“The gays are worried and Hunk is coming over with food. Allura wanted me to remind you that we all love you.” Lance groans again.

“Okay.” he sighs

“Did you relapse?”

Lance is quiet for a moment, and then nods, tears streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry.” he sobs

“Hey- we still love you. No one is mad or disappointed in you. And before you say that I’m wrong and that you are a disappointment your depression is wrong and i’m right.”

“Love you pidge.”

“Love you too.”

“Do you remember when we first met?”

“Yeah. i threatened to kicked James in the dick because he called me weak.”

“Good times.”

“I was scared of Hunk before i actually met him.”

Lance lets out a burst of laughter.   
“Oh my god,  _ you _ scared of  _ HUNK? Hesa marshmellow” _

“If you speak of this i’ll kill you.”

“I know”

-

_ LANCE PROTECTION _

Gremlin: Lance did relapse

Sunshine: i’m almost there

Takashit: did he talk about why?

Gremlin: he was overwhelmed and felt stupid and depression stuff

Sunshine: I had to deadname him i taste copper

_ Takashit added ADAM to the chat _

Takashit: he wanted to know what was going on

ADAM: i still don’t know whats going on

Allarming: Lance is trans and not oout to his fam

Allarming: he has depression and ADHD and a history of self harm

ADAM: oh

ADAM: i want to protect this boy

_ Samurai>Sharpshooter _

Samurai: i know we aren’t the closest of friends

Samurai: but i kind of understand where your mind is at rn

Samurai: i’m ‘on the spectrum’ and when things get to much i tend to harm myself :/

Samurai: so if youre ever feeling down you can talk to me

_ LANCE PROTECTION _

Sunshine: Lance is feeling better   
Sunshine: he promised not to do anything but his mom made him leave

Gremlin: send him all your love tomorrow

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally some klance  
> pidge does love their friends they just have a different way of showing it   
> also i'm gay for pidge  
> sue me   
> my friend said the gumball thing during my animations class and i cried  
> so obviously i added it  
> all those comments yeeted out my depression thank u


	3. ᵘʰ ᶜᵃⁿ ᶦ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃ ᵇᵒⁿᵉˡᵉˢˢ ᵖᶦᶻᶻᵃ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't feel like hurting my child so here you go some quality memes

_ Laundrymatt>Sharpshooter _

Laundrymatt: ᵖˢˢˢˢᵗ

Laundrymatt: ᵖˢˢˢˢˢˢˢˢᵗ

Sharpshooter:ʷʰᵃᵗ

Laundrymatt: ʷʰᵃᵗˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳᶦᵗᵉ ᶜᵃⁿᵈʸ

sharpshooter: ᵗʰʳᵉᵉ ᵐᵘˢᵏᵉᵗᵉᵉʳˢ

Laundrymatt: ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵘ

 

Sharpshooter>Gremlin

Sharpshooter:[screenshot.png]

Sharpshooter: who is your brother

Gremlin:ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ⁿᵒ ᶦᵈᵉᵃ ʰᵉˢ ᵃ ʷᵉᶦʳᵈᵒ

Sharpshooter: ᵗʰᵉ ᴴᵒˡᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ˢᵗʳᵃⁿᵍᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗᵘʳᵉˢ

Gremlin: ᶜᵒʳʳᵉᶜᵗ

 

_ LANCE PROTECTION _

Laundrymatt: ᵖˢᵗ ᵍᵘʸˢ

Gremlin: ᵂʰᵃᵗ

Laundrymatt: ᶦ ᵍᵒᵗ ˡᵃⁿᶜᵉ ᵃ ˢᴴᴵᵀ ᵀᴼᴺ ᵒᶠ ʰᶦˢ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳᶦᵗᵉ ᶜᵃⁿᵈʸ

Sunshine: ʰ ᵉ ᶜ ᵏ ʸ ᵉ ᵃ ʰ

ADAM: ᵃᵐᵃᶻᶦⁿᵍ

 

_ Sharpshooter>Samurai _

Sharpshooter: thanks man

 

_ Noot Noot _

Laundrymatt:ʷʰᵃᵗˢ ᵖᵒᵖᵖᶦⁿ

Sharpshooter:ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵉᶦˡᶦⁿᵍ ᶦᵈᵏ

ADAM: oh my god 

Sunshine: Lance i love you

Sharpshooter: I’m lonely

Allarming: I’M COMING LONCE 

Sunshine: ME TOO

Sharpshooter:ᵒʰ ⁿᵒ ᵐʸ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢ

Takashit: ʷʰʸ

ADAM: ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᶦ ʰᵃᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ᶦᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵉᵐ

Takashit:  ·-- ···· -·--      - ···· · ··-· ··-  -·-· -·- -·· ---  ·· ·-·· --- ···- ·   -·-- --- ··- 

ADAM:(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ I love you too ♥

  
  


Laundrymatt:w̵̨̜̦̟͍̼̥̞͚̐̌͘h̴̡̨̡̡̺̘̥̼̟̤̹̱̖̗̺̆͐̓̉̾ą̵̩̊̈̇̿̉̔̍̍̽̈́͂̃̈͘t̷̡̺̺͕̦̂͊͐̎̍̃̾̾͘͘͝ ̶̡̡͎̥̮̥̜̹̱͇̺̼̤̣͌̑̏͗̑̈́͌̐͌̽͋̌t̵͇̤͇͈̰̙̖͙̘̑̒͒̿̾̆͘͝h̶̺͈̲̦̄͗̌̎̓͘͘ë̴̟͎́͐̊̈́̚ ̷̫͍̔̂́̆̏̂̊͐͒̂̕̚͘͝͝f̴̜̊͛ų̴̡͚̯̫̆̎̈́̒́̔̌ç̴̼͔͉̯̥̜͓̠͓͈̹̪̪̈́̓k̷̩͎̙̦̓̉͒͒̇͌͗

  
  


Gremlin: its called love matt

Laundrymatt: oh

 

Samurai:⛥ I̷̞͠ ̷̟̫͙͕͑̓h̷̟͍̦̑̅̉̒a̷̖̩̖̓͛͛̏͝t̷̲̤̻̦͇̓͆̆͑e̶̬̻̤͈̙̐̓̓͐ ̷̜̜̘m̴̙̬̈́ͅy̶̞̓s̸͖͊e̸̖͓̺̓̉̎͋͝l̸͚͓͌̾̔̂̎f̷͍̏̎̽͜ͅ ⛧

 

Ramen: keith wtf

Takashit: why keith

 

Samurai:ψ i̶̡̛̞̯͆t̴̟̟̔͋s̵̹͔͈̣̓ ̸̨̞̹̖̫̈́̈́t̵̨̰̆̇̿̏ḧ̵̤̟̭̓ḛ̶͙̬̫̈́͒ ̵̥̺̩̫̋̊̿t̷̥͈̎̿̅̔̕ř̷̜̱͈̄̉̊u̵̬̻͖̒̃̑͘t̶̠̩͋ͅh̸̝͉̅̀͛ͅ ☠

 

Sharpshooter:ᵐᵉ ᵗᵒᵒ ᵇᵃᵇ

Gremlin: bab

Sharpshooter: fight me pidge

Gremlin: i will

Sharpshooter: guys when pidge first me

Laundrymatt: oh no they killed him before he finished the tea

Sunshine: PIDGE DON’T KILL MY BEST FRIEND

Gremlin: i did what i had to do

Shayshay: don’t make my boyfriend sad pidge :(

Gremlin: oh no the one (1) woman i’m afraid of :o

 

_ Samurai>Takashit _

Samurai: shiro

Samurai: he called me bab

Takashit: and ?

Samurai: I MIGHT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM OKAY

Takashit: oh

Takashit: oh no

 

_ Noot noot _

Sharpshooter: SHREDDED WEED

Gremlin: i thought i killed you

Laundrymatt: shredded weed

Sharpshooter: ˢʰʳᵉᵈᵈᵉᵈ ʷᵉᵉᵈ

 

ADAM: ş̸̛͆̄̀̎̑̌̍͑h̷̛̝̱̮͚̦͕͙̟̜͔̗̝̍̔͌͌̚͜͝ŗ̸̝̺̟͍̀͂́͜ͅȩ̸̡̧̢͖͇͎̱̜͓͇̮̄̽̇́͋̉͛̀͋͂̚͘̚͜͝͝ď̷̟͐͂̄̂̐̽̕d̶͕͎̓̿̍͌͝͠e̴̫̟͔̼̦͎͖̜̭̗̟̗̖͎̊̌͑̇̈́́̕͝ḑ̶͓̲̦̝͇̟̯̗̣̼̗́̆̀͜͜͠ ̵̜̙̻̳͌̈͂̓́͒̅̅w̸̧̘̆̈́͜ë̷̖̜͙̭̮͈͈̍̓̈́̀̌͗̊͌͠ē̵̡̩̻̝̫͙̩̊͜͜ḑ̵̛̘̹͉̲̗̪̙̹̱̖͙̀͛͒̅̋̀̃̊̒͜

 

Ramen:ₛₕᵣₑddₑd wₑₑd

Shayshay: ｓｈｒｅｄｄｅｄ　ｗｅｅｄ　ワゴ案

Takashit: Why

Samurai: jesus i leave for 5 minutes

Sharpshooter: no offence bu

Gremlin: Keith fucking killed him

Samurai: the deeds done

Sunshine: wow lance keeps getting murked

Shayshay: i will miss him

Gremlin: He was my best friend

Sunshine: I think it’s okay to say this now but he was my husband

Laundrymatt: i can’t believe he left Hunk alone

Shayshay: *clears throat*

Laundrymatt: oh hey shay

Shayshay: you and Lance huh

Sunshine: uh… yeah

Shayshay: Hunk i thought i was the only one

Sunshine: babe it's not what you think

Sharpshooter: YOU’RE SEEING A WOMAN ?

Sharpshooter: I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL

Sunshine: guys, I-I

Takashit: Hunk you're screwed

Sunshine: :(

-

Sharpshooter: i still can’t believe i don’t have lunch with any of you :(

Sunshine: :((

Laundrymatt: i’m coming to vistit you lance

Gremlin: vistit

ShayShay:vistit

Ramen:vistit

Allarming: vistit

Sharpshooter: vistit

ADAM: vistit

Sharpshooter: BRUH MATT BROUGHT ME A FUCK TON OF MY FAVORITE CANDY

Sharpshooter:[image.png]

Gremlin: how did you get that many matt

Laundrymatt: i went to like 12 different stores and bought every single one they had

Sharpshooter: wtf matt

Laundrymatt:  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

ADAM: your favorite candy is 3 musketeers?

Sharpshooter: yeah. You got a problem with that?

ADAM: no its my favorite too

Sharpshooter: ayyyy

Samurai: 3 musketeers are gross

Sharpshooter: fight me keith

Samurai: meet me in the wendy’s parking lot at 3am

Sharpshooter: will do

-

_ Broganes + Adam _

Samurai: oh heck i’m gay

ADAM: same 

Takashi: what happened

Samurai: lance got excited over his favorite candy

Samurai: like its just candy but when i brought is up later he started crying

Samurai: i’m crying

ADAM: oh no you have it bad

Samurai: uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

Takashit: just don’t pull your knife on him like you did to your last crush :/

Samurai: :(

-

_ Noot Noot _

Gremlin: bruh this kid is so offended because we’re talking about creation myths and the teacher is like “every religion has a creation myth” an names a couple including the christian one

Gremlin: and he's like “but its not a myth!1!”

Gremlin: chill dude

Sharpshooter: i hate those people

Gremlin: i’m gonna hack his phone to only play panic!

Gremlin: and every video he tries to play will be emperor's new clothes

Samurai: fuck yeah

ShayShay: why emperors new clothing?

Gremlin: watch the music video

Samurai: brendon urie was my gay awakening

ShayShay: i get u 

-

_ Noot noot _

Sunshine: guys Lance is T-posing in the rain

Allarming: lance, you're doing amazing sweetie

Sharpshooter: thanks bab

Gremlin: u got pics hunk?

Sunshine: heck yeah

Sunshine:[image.png]

sunshine:[idkvideo]

Ramen: those are beautiful

ADAM: i stan lance

Gremlin: rt

Samurai: rt

Sunshine: rt

Allarming: rt

Laundrymatt: rt

Shayshay: rt

Takashit: rt

Ramen: rt

Sharpshooter: thanks babs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: i have lunch alone   
> fun fact 2: no ones brought me my favorite candy :(  
> Fun fact 3: my favorite candy is 3 musketeers  
> fun fact 4: it was raining when i got out of school so i T-posed


	4. g̷̨̥͈̮̼̬̤̼̪̤̣͇͐̎̋̾̂̆̓͠ạ̵̫̳́̑̓̉y̴̡̛̝̲̻̜̥͖͒͐ ̶̢̢̗̗̫̭͈̪̤͖͑̈́̾̐̓̉t̸̖̝̎̀̒͛̚ͅa̸̛̠̼̮͍̯̼͒̿͒̅̐̇̏̕l̴̛̖̣̠͎͖̼͇̭̺̗̲̉̅͆͌͐̓̔͝͝͝ͅk̵͔̬̯̏̊̉̂

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharpshooter: send help we might watch Avatar the last airbender and my brother goes ‘why don’t we watch the movie’ and i want to kill him
> 
> Gremlin: which brother lance
> 
> Gremlin: which brother
> 
> Sharpshooter: luis
> 
> Gremlin: that bitch

_ Laundrymatt added sharpshooter, Gremlin, ADAM and ramen to the chat! _

_ Laundrymatt named the chat dream meme team _

Laundrymatt: ur mom gay

Sharpshooter: ur dad lesbian

Ramen: u family tree LGBT

ADAM: no u

Sharpshooter: gasp

Ramen: i’m offended

Laundrymatt: fuck i can’t believe you’ve done this

 

_ Trans dysphorian blues _

Sharpshooter: i’m wearing 3 sports bras, 2 tanks and a tight t-shirt ro bind and i feel good but it’s hot and kinda hard to breath

Sharpshooter: lol i was fine but i was just hit with a wave of dysphoria send help

Sharpshooter: like i’m super insecure about my hair so i’m wearing it in a beanie but teachers keep telling me to take it off

Gremlin: i’ll fight them

sharpshooter: pidge, no

Sunshine: I love you man

Sunshine: is there anything i can do?

Sharpshooter: not really

Sharpshooter: nothing you aren’t already doing

Sharpshooter: i’m so lonely at lunch

Sharpshooter: also i’m not hungry

Gremlin: eat or i’ll shove it down your throat

Sharpshooter: i ate a granola bar in like 2nd period

Sunshine: lance its 5th

Sharpshooter: and like a kolache before school

Gremlin: that’s still not a lot ?

Sharpshooter: i’ll eat when i get home

Sunshine: i’m holding that to u

Sharpshooter: k

-

_ Noot Noot _

Sharpshooter: oh no my family is watching a movie together

Takashit: and thats bad why ?

Sharpshooter: there’s like 700 of us

Sharpshooter: and they’re LOUD

Samurai: oh 

Samurai: i get u

Sunshine: did you eat

Sharpshooter: yeah ??

Gremlin: *squints eyes*

Sharpshooter: what! I did! I wouldn’t lie to hunk

Gremlin: hmmm

ShayShay: what do you mean ‘did you eat’

Sunshine: lance didn’t eat lunch

Sharpshooter: i eat 3 meals a day normally and i miss lunch once and you guys flip out

Sunshine: its not normal for you to skip lunch

Sunshine: breakfast ? yeah happens a lot

Sunshine: Dinner ? sometimes if you’re feeling overwhelmed

Sunshine: lunch ? never

Sharpshooter: i wasn’t feeling well okay ?

Sharpshooter: also i ate a lot that morning and didn’t really have an appetite

Sunshine: fine

Sharpshooter: send help we might watch Avatar the last airbender and my brother goes ‘why don’t we watch the movie’ and i want to  _ kill him _

Gremlin: which brother lance

Gremlin:  _ which brother _

Sharpshooter: luis

Gremlin: that bitch

Samurai: i’ve never watched Avatar The Last Airbender is it good

Sharpshooter: OH MY GOD IT’S GREAT

Gremlin: IT’S A MASTERPIECE

ADAM: keith i’m coming over me you and Takashi are watching it

Takashit: i haven’t watched it either so this will be fun

Gremlin: u are so longer my dad

Takashit: :(

Sharpshooter: bruh poor Tony :((

Sharpshooter: He deserves so much more <3

ShayShay: RIGHT

Sharpshooter: THE POOR MAN

-

_ Noot Noot _

Allarming: my dad is going out of town u know what that means 

Takashit: oh yeah 

ADAM: Corans okay with u throwing parties?

Sharpshooter: bruh hes the LIFE of the party

Allarming: he really is

Sunshine: i was in corans class the other day and Alfor came in and yelled “LOVE ME” and then sat on his lap for the entire class

Samurai: legend

ADAM: gay 

Gremlin: mood

Sunshine: alfor and coran kissed the first day of school and like 3 kids dropped out of the class

Allarming: lol bye cishets

Ramen: i didn’t know Mr. Smyth and Mr. Altea were married and your dads?

Allarming: u didn’t ?

Ramen: i just moved here like last year

Allarming: what

Ramen: yeah my last school was pretty transphobic so my parents moved 

Sharpshooter: ur trans??!!

Ramen: yeah ? did u not know

Sharpshooter: NO

Sharpshooter: TRANS BUDDIES!

Allarming: anyway the party is tonight at 7 you can sleep over if you’d like

Gremlin: you know all of us are unless we tell you otherwise right

Allarming: duh

Gremlin: lit

-

_ Sharpshooter added Gremlin and Ramen to chat _

_ Sharpshooter named the chat trans buddies _

Sharpshooter: lit

Gremlin: heck yeah we got a trans girl, trans boy and trans nonbinary

Ramen: LIT

 

Sharpshooter: hecc

-

_ Noot Noot _

Allarming: you guys ready

Sharpshooter: HECC YEAH

ShayShay: so i need ur address

Ramen: same

Allarming: oh yeah its 5784 lions drive

Sunshine: it’s literally a castle

Sunshine: idk how her dads have so much money they’re teachers

Allarming: oh my dad used to be a lawyer with my mom 

Allarming: my dad always wanted to be a teacher

Allarming: and then after my mom died he became a teacher

Allarming: where he met Papa

Allarming: also my grandparents on all sides are LOADED

Allarming: and my mom is her parents only child and because i’m her only child i got all here money >:)

Ramen: i didn’t know ur mom was dead

Allarming: yeah she died when i was like 7

Allarming: dad and papa got married when i was 12

Allarming: i don’t remember my mom too well

Allarming: also its been like 10 years

Takashit: okay stop the death chat its time to party

ADAM: fuck yeah

-

ShayShay: i’m too tired to talk 

Sunshine: me too bab

Shayshay: <3

Sharpshooter: bruh my mom almost didn’t let me go because matt was coming and you know how the cishets are

Laundrymatt: ooh my god

Gremlin: oh my goooood

Allarming: brb crying

Sharpshooter: allura ur staring at your phone unmoved

Samurai; i’m too lazy to look up but i believe Lance

ADAM: shhh guys takashi is asleep

Laundrymatt: gay

Ramen: no u

Sharpshooter: who was your gay awakening

Sharpshooter: tbh mine was allura back when i identified as a girl

Laundrymatt: mine was gerard way

Samurai: brendon urie

ADAM: mine was this guy named connor in like 5th grade

ADAM: takshis was also brendon urie

Allarming: bru this girl named Kayla is 7th mmmmh she was 10/10

Ramen: oof i had to realize i was a girl first and by that point i was like ‘guess im a lesbian’

Gremlin: i just realized tech was better

ShayShay: i had a crush on my friend and they came out as genderfluid and i just went ‘oh guess i’m pan’

Sunshine: i had a crush on this guy named ryan in 8th and then found out pan was a thing and went ‘oh ha thats me’

Allarming: lit

-

_ TRANS BUDDIES _

Sharpshooter: do you ever think of your dead name and you cry

Ramen: always

Gremlin: everyday

Ramen: one time i tried to write it and i cried for 3 hours

Ramen: my mom was so confused

Ramen: anyway then i got it legally changed

Sharpshooter: goals

Gremlin: my parents are waiting for the legal stuff legally change it

Sharpshooter: lol i’m not out to ANY of my family

Ramen: :(

Sharpshooter: i’m not even out to them as bi

Ramen: how do you pretend to be cishet

Sharpshooter: idk

Sharpshooter: i’m tired night guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to right my dead name as one of the gay awakening names and i cried so haha  
> its a pretty name i just want to beat anyone that calls me that  
> i'm genderfluid and midway through today i went from nonbinary to male it was fun  
> okay but the avatar thing happened and i wanted to kill my brother  
> also yes i did wear all those things lance listed to bind  
> vry uncomfortable but i didn't feel as bad about my body today :D


	5. angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laundrymatt: do you guys remember when pidge dyed shiros hair white
> 
> Gremlin: he deserved it
> 
> Gremlin: he changed the WIFI password
> 
> Takashit: YOU WEREN’T SLEEPING
> 
> Takashit: AND IT DIDN’T COME OUT FOR LIKE 3 MONTHS
> 
> Samurai: i remember Adam having a heart attack and then laughing his ass off
> 
> ADAM: good times

_ Ruined> Sharpshooter _

Ruined: why did Mr. Altea call you Lance in class today

 

_ Noot Noot _

sharpshooter: [screenshot.png]

Sharpshooter: i’m going to fucking die

Sunshine: oh god

Takashit: lance bud what happened

Sharpshooter: veronica is an office aid

Sharpshooter: and she brought me a note for me to go to the counselors at the end of class

Sharpshooter: and Alfor calls me Lance obviously and she heard him

Sharpshooter: i’ve never been called Lance in front of my fam ??

Sharpshooter: wtf am i supposed to do ??

Takashit: you could come out

Sharpshooter: i don’t think i’m ready

Takashit: i know. But your either going to have to come out or spin yourself a spool of lies

Sharpshooter: thanks shiro. I’ll think about it

Sunshine: i will hurt her if she hurts you

 

_ sunshine>Ruined _

Sunshine: if you hurt him i’ll fucking kill you :)))))))

Ruined: HUnk? Who are you talking about?

Sunshine: :))))))

Ruined: hunk. You’re scaring me

Sunshine: good

_ Ruined> sharpshooter _

Ruined: and why is hunk threatening me

 

_ Noot Noot _

Sharpshooter: Hunk stop threatening my sister

Allarming: HUNKS THREATENING SOMEONE

Allarming: WHAT DID LONCES SISTER DO HUNK

Sunshine: read the chat

Allarming: oh

Allarming: valid

Sharpshooter: not you too Allura

Sharpshooter: i haven’t even talked to her yet

 

_ Allarming> Ruined _

Allarming: hurt the boy and i’ll get shiro and adam to give keith back his knives

Ruined: wtf

 

 _Ruined_ _> Sharpshooter_

Ruined: [screenshot.png]

Ruined: do you have anything to do with this

 

_ Noot Noot _

Sharpshooter: ALLURA

Allarming: uwu

Sunshine: uwu what did you threaten Allura

Allarming: to get Adam and shito to give keith his knives

Allarming: hbu hunk

Sunshinez: oh ya know, murder

ShayShay: uwu thats my boyfriend

Ramen: i’ve never been more attracted to you allura

Samurai: i though hunk was pure

Gremlin: not when someone hurts his friends

Sunshine: uwu

Takshit: guys….

Takashit: you can’t just threaten her

ADAM: i’ll give keith back his knives if she hurts lance

Takashit: ADAM

Samurai: :)

Allarming: HECC\K YEAH

Ramen: can i help murder lances sister

Sunshine: be my guest

 

_ Allarming > Ruined _

Allarming: adams down to give Keith back his knives

Ruined: wtf

 

_ Samurai> Ruined _

Samurai: you can’t tell him but if you hurt him i’ll fucking KILL YOU

Samurai: i love him to much

Ruined: who are you

 

_ Ruined>Sharpshooter _

Ruined: wtf is happening

Sharpshooter: okay

Sharpshooter: my friends are very protective

Sharpshooter: also i’m a guy

 

_ Noot Noot _

Sharpshooter: I DID IT

Sharpshooter: she hasn’t said anything

Takshit: we’re proud of you lance <3

Laundrymatt: we wish you well

Laundrymatt: also pray for your sister pidge with kill her if she makes you sad

 

_ Laundrymatt>Ruined _

Laundrymatt: i will not hesitate to let the gremlin go wild

Ruined: i’m actually afraid rn

 

_ Ruined> Sharpshooter _

Ruined: you mean ??

Sharpshooter: i’m trans?

Ruined: oh

 

_ Noot Noot _

Sharpshooter:[screenshot.png]

Sharpshooter: ??

ADAM: Knives?

Takashit: no

Sunshine: murder uwu

Gremlin: owo

Laundrymatt: go pidge

Takashit: guys she hasn’t really said anything yet

 

_ Ruined>Sharpshooter _

Ruined: why didn’t you say anything earlier?

Sharpshooter: I was afraid of conversion therapy or being kicked out

Ruined: I still love and support you no matter who you are <3

Sharpshooter: <3

Sharpshooter: also pls don’t tell anyone

Sharpshooter: i’m not ready to come out

Ruined: okay

Ruined: I love you bro <3

Sharpshooter: <3

 

_ Noot Noot _

_ Sharpshooter added Ruined to the chat _

Samurai: Knives!!

Sharpshooter: no

Samurai: :(

Takashit: thank god

Ruined: how does lance have so many friends ?

Gremlin: ikr

Sharpshooter: PIDGE

Ruined: Also names pls

Gremlin: Pidge they/them

Sunshine: its hunk

ADAM: Adam he/him

Samurai: keith he/him

Allarming: Allura she/her

Laundrymatt: matt he/him

Takashit: shiro he/him

Ramen: Romelle she/her

ShayShay: shay she/her

Ruined: hello veronica she/her

Ruined: also i’m scared of Allura pidge and keith

Takashit: don’t be scared of keith

Takashit: hes not that scary

Takashit: he can’t sleep without his stuffed hippo Yorak

Samurai: SHIRO

ADAM: takashi oh my god

Takashit: but you should be sacred of pidge and allura

Ramen: especially pidge

Gremlin: uwu

Sunshine: ESPECIALLY pidge

Laundrymatt: do you guys remember when pidge dyed shiros hair white

Gremlin: he deserved it

Gremlin: he changed the WIFI password

Takashit: YOU WEREN’T SLEEPING

Takashit: AND IT DIDN’T COME OUT FOR LIKE 3 MONTHS

Samurai: i remember Adam having a heart attack and then laughing his ass off

ADAM: good times

Ruined: wowza

 

_ Ruined> Sharpshooter _

Ruined: your friends are pretty intense

Ruined: also i’m lesbian

Sharpshooter: i thought you were american

Ruined: fuckyou

Sharpshooter: its chill im bi

Ruined: lit

Ruined: the gay mcclains

Sharpshooter: we should get leather jackets with that on the back

Ruined: thats how we come out

Ruined: yours has lance and a bi and trans flag

Ruined: mine has ronnie and a lesbian flag

Sharpshooter: amazing

Ruined: i have a crush on my friend wtf do i do

Sharpshooter: i have no idea i’m in the same boat

Ruined: uwu who

Sharpshooter: Keith

Sharpshooter: you ?

Ruined: Nadia

Sharpshooter: uwu dont tell anyone

Ruined: k you too though

Sharshooter: k

 

_ Ruined>gremlin _

Ruined: keith and lance are pinning over each other this has been a psa

Gremlin: uwu i been knew

Ruined:[screenshot.png]

Ruined:[screenshot.png]

Gremlin: OwO

Gremlin: oh fuck

 

_ Gremlin added Ruined, ShayShay, Laundrymatt, Ramen, Sunshine, and Allarming to the chat _

_ Gremlin named the chat Klance ?? yeah _

Gremlin: tell them veronica

Ruined:[screenshot.png]

Ruined:[screenshot.png]

Allarming: uwu son

Ramen: shouldn’t we add Shiro and/or Adam

Gremlin: Shiro will tell us not to match make

Gremlin: adam though

_ Gremlin added ADAM to the chat _

ADAM: fuck yeah

ADAM: [screenshot.png]

Gremlin: fuck yeah

ShayShay: we gotta get them together

Sunshine: hell yeah

Allarming: how 

Gremlin: i’ll figure something out

ADAM: i’ll help with keith

Ruined: i’ll help with Lance

Sunshine: i’m the only one who actually asked out my S/O without help so 

ADAM: fuck you hunk

Sunshine: i’ll save the pleasure for shiro

Laundrymatt: HUNK OH MY GOD

Ruined: i’m so glad lance has you guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my name is connor and i have crippling depression  
> i went to chruch and it sucked but then my friends were there  
> my family is watching the lorax rn


	6. voltron unsolved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minimal angst

_ Trans Dysphorian Blues _

Sharpshooter: holy crap i feel like  _ Shit _

Sharpshooter: idk why but i want to die a lot

Sharpshooter: Depression is fuuun

Sunshine: Lance….

Sharpshooter: ugh i just don’t see the point in living

Sunshine: Lance

Sharpshooter: death sounds great

Sunshine: LANCE

Sharpshooter: yeah

Sunshine: i love you

Sharpshooter: I know

Sunshine: do you want me to come over

Sharpshooter: yeah

Sunshine: i’m onw

 

_ Noot Noot _

Sunshine: me and lance are watching mr. magorium's wonder emporium and hes sobbing

Allarming: Okay mood

Samurai: mr. magorium's wonder emporium ?

Allarming: one of the BEST and MOST AMAZING MOVIES OF ALL TIME

Samurai: oh?

Sharpshooter: KEITH HAS NEVER WATCHED MR. MAGORIUM’S WONDER EMPORIUM

Samurai: no ?

Sharpshooter: COME OVER RN I’M REWATCHING

Samurai: k address

Sunshine: Lance this is our time

Sharpshooter: Hunk he’s never seen mr. magorium's wonder emporium

Sunshine: fine

Samurai: i need address

Sunshine: 1876 sky lane

Samurai:  k i’ll be over

-

Sunshine: Lance and Keith sobbed and then feel asleep on each other

Sunshine:[image.jpg]

Gremlin: gay

ADAM: cute

Takashit: oh gosh that’s so cute

Allarming: i ship them

Ruined: we been knew

Ramen: tbh my soul left when u saw that pic

ShayShay: hi mr. magorium's wonder emporium is amazing this has been a psa

ADAM: thats all you have to say

ShayShay: yes

-

Samurai: i just woke up but mr. magorium's wonder emporium is the best movie ever

Samurai: I cried so hard

Samurai: like i knew mr. Magorium was going to die but i still sobbed

Sharpshooter: RIGHT

Samurai: the whole ‘he died’ speech made me sob so hard

Sharpshooter: me too

Samurai: the colorless shop after he dies ?

Samurai: so many tears

Sunshine: Lance you cry every time you watch it

Sharpshooter: yeah? So

Sunshine: no reason

-

Sharpshooter: do you guys believe in ghosts?

Samurai: no

Gremlin: yes

Sunshine: yes

ShayShay: no

ADAM: idk

Takashit: yes

Ruined: yes

Allura: yes

Ramen: idk

Laundrymatt: Yes

Sharpshooter: Keith shay adam romelle you guys are canceled

Sharpshooter: ghosts are real

Gremlin: I’ve been trying to tell keith that for years

Takashit: he refuses to accept it

Takashit: i’m 99% sure the house we live in is haunted and he just…. Doesn’t believe it

Samurai: its not haunted you piece of shit

Laundrymatt: it is very haunted

Sharpshooter: okay we’re doing a paranormal  investigation on Shiro and keiths house address 

Samurai: 6742 Cemetery Dr

Sharpshooter: haha whats your real address

Samurai: that is my real address 

Sharpshooter: cemetery drive is a mcr song -_-

Takashit: it is but its also our street name

ADAM: you know mcr songs?

Samurai: thats not a well known mcr song wtf lance

_ Sharpshooter has left the chat _

Samurai: did Lance have a emo phase

Ruined: yes

Sunshine: yeah but he doesn’t like talking about it 

_ LANCE PROTECTION _

Sunshine: first things first

_ Sunshine added Ruined to the chat _

Sunshine: now about his emo phase

Sunshine: it was literally the darkest part of his life

Sunshine: he almost killed himself during that time so like, don’t tease him about it pls

Ruined: what

Gremlin: did you not know he has like , depression

Ruined: NO

Gremlin: oh….

 

_ sunshine>sharpshooter _

Sunshine: i told them to not talk about it want me to add you back?

Sharpshooter: yeah

Sunshine: k

 

_ Noot Noot _

_ Sunshine added Sharpshooter to the chat _

_ Sharpshooter changed the chat name to voltron unsolved _

Sharpshooter: let's start the investigation!

_ Sharpshooter changed Samurais name to skeptic #1 _

_ Sharpshooter changed ShayShays name to Skeptic #2 _

_ Sharpshooter changes Ramens name to shitfish 1 _

_ Sharpshooter changed ADAMS name to shitfish 2 _

Sharpshooter: Ronnie is driving me and hunk

Gremlin: i have cameras and stuff

Laundrymatt: dad and I used to do this a lot so we have some good shit

Shitfish 1: i’m picking up Allura and Shay

Allarming: papa is coming

Sunshine: lit

Sharpshooter: YES

Allarming: Lance is his favorite

Allarming: he cried because dad has you and you but not him

-

Takashit: lance where are you?

Sharpshooter: in the attic

Takashit: why

Sharpshooter: i heard something

Skeptic #1: probably a mouse smh

Sharpshooter: We’ll see when we go over the footage

-

Gremlin: there’s so much fucking evidence

Skeptic #2: there’s literally none

Laundrymatt: fuck you there’s so much

Skeptic #1: there’s none

Shitfish 1: there’s like none

Sharpshooter: theres literally voices that don’t match any of ours

Skeptic #2: neighbors ? people walking by ?

Takashit: we didn’t hear any of them irl ?

Allarming: just upload them online and have people vote

Shitfish 2: i don’t think its ghosts but its definitely something i can’t explain

Allarming: Coran says its ghosts

Ruined: definently ghosts

Sharpshooter: i hope they aren’t evil spirits Shiro 

Skeptic #1: there are no ghosts fuck you guys

Takashit: i hope they’re nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i hate children  
> i have 3 brothers and they're torture  
> save me  
> Ghosts are real fight me  
> i love mcr everyone can fight me


	7. UHHH gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter as no plot  
> but romella so

_ Voltron Unsolved _

Sharpshooter:  i imagine death its seems more like a memory

Ruined: Is this where it gets me, on my feet, several feet ahead of me?

Sunshine: I see it coming, do I run or fire my gun or let it be?

Skeptic #2: There is no beat no melody

Allarming: burr, my first friend my enemy maybe the last face i’ll ever see

Shitfish 1: If i throw away my shot is this how you’ll remember me?

Sharpshooter: what if this bullet is my legacy?

Sunshine: Legacy. What is a legacy?

Shitfish 2: Its planting seeds in a garden you never get to see

Ruined: I wrote some notes in the beginning of a song someone will sing for me

Allarming:  America you great unfinished symphony you sent for me

Takashit:  You let me make a difference

Skeptic #1: A place where even orphan immigrants Can leave their fingerprints and rise up

Sharpshooter: I’m running out of time. I’m running, and my time’s up Wise up. Eyes up

Ruined: I catch a glimpse of the other side

Shitfish 1: Laurens leads a soldiers’ chorus on the other side

Takashit: My son is on the other side

Skeptic #2: He’s with my mother on the other side

Sunshine: Washington is watching from the other side

Sharpshooter: Teach me how to say goodbye

Allarming: Rise up, rise up, rise up

Shitfish 1: Eliza

Allarming: My love, take your time

Skeptic #1: I’ll see you on the other side

Shitfish 2: Raise a glass to freedom…

Ruined: oops I’m crying

Sharpshooter: mood

-

Skeptic #1: pls change our names Lance

Shitfish 1: yeah

_ Sharpshooter changed shitfish 1’s name to Ramen _

_ Sharpshooter changed shitfish 2’s name Dickweed _

_ Sharpshooter changed Skeptic #1’s name to Cocaine _

_ Sharpshooter changed Skeptic #2’s name to ShyShayaway _

Cocaine: why

Dickweed: hecc

Shayaway: uwu

Sunshine: uwu

 

_ Ramen>Sharpshooter _

Ramen: hi Allura looks really cute today wtf do i do

Sharpshooter: ask her out?

Ramen: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

Sharpshooter: I’ve known allura for 7 years. Trust me. She likes you

Ramen: okay but if this goes bad i will murder you :)

 

_ sharpshooter>Allarming _

Sharpshooter: ask out Romelle

Allarming: why

Sharpshooter: cause its my birthday?

Allarming: nice try but okay

-

_ Voltron Unsolved _

_ Allarming changed the chat name to queer squad _

Sharpshooter: did you do it?

Ramen: uhhhhh

Allarming: yes

Ramen: i mean we’re dating now but i am very red

Allarming: she looks very cute

Ramen: (つ ♥灬 ͜ʖ 灬♥)つ

Allarming: ( 灬♥ 3 ♥灬)

Takashit: oh boy

Dickweed: UwU

Sunshine: Pidge Matt Keith and Lance are the only one’s not in relationships now

Gremlin: romance is icky

Sharpshooter: i better be the best man at y’all wedding :)

Allarming: ofc you are

Allarming: Romelle we’re breaking up if you don’t agree with me

Ramen: OwO

-

_ Trans dysphorian blues _

Sharpshooter: uwu i’m lonely

Gremlin: UwU Matt and I are at the park with Rover

Sunshine: UwU lets have a picnic

Sharpshooter: UwU sounds great

Sharpshooter: UwU can i bring Blue

Gremlin: UwU of course

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: guys i need help

Takashit: what did you do

Cocaine: i got involved in a robbery on accident

Dickweed: how tf do you get involved in a robbery by ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’accident’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Gremlin: it happens to the best of us

Cocaine: i was at a gas station and this guy tried to rob it so i threatened him with my knife

Cocaine: and now i’m running from the cops 

Ramen: oml

Sharpshooter: i’m crying

Ruined: wtf did i get dragged into

Takashit: i’m on my way

 

-

Gremlin:

i'm gonna hack into the world meme data base so i can become the meme god

Sharpshooter: its 4am wtf

Gremlin: I haven’t slept for 48 days

Sharpshooter: haha me to

Gremlin: what are you doing at this god awful hour ?

Sharpshooter: oh you know

Sharpshooter: panic attacks lmao

Gremlin: jesus lance

-

Romelle: School fucking sucks

Sharpshooter: haha mood

Ruined: I’m going to cry just thinking about it

Cocaine: Shiro grounded me from my knife :(

Dickweed: get fucked

Shayaway: oh my god

Shayaway: grounded from his fucking knife

Sharpshooter: how could you shiro :(

Allarming: it’s 20gayteen and shiro took away keiths knife

Allarming: sounds like homophobia to me

Takashit: :((

-

Sharpshooter: i miss coran

Allarming: he misses you too

Sharpshooter: fuck it i’m going to his class

Takashit: you can’t just leave class lance

Sharpshooter: fuck you shiro

-

Sharpshooter: i fucking love Coran

Sharpshooter: i’m adopting him as my uncle

Allarming: i told him you said that and he started crying

Allarming: papa: BABE! LANCE SAID HE’S ADOPTING ME AS HIS UNCLE

Allarming: dad: sigh, babe

Sharpshooter: i love my uncle

Ruined: does that make him my uncle too

Sharpshooter: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so remember in chapter one? the teacher that called lance by his dead name  
> anyway that happened to me and the girl i made into Romelle was talking and she said something like "she said" and then was like "i mean he, sorry" and i'm screaming ??  
> like i use the/them more than he/him but i just idk   
> being genderfluid is weird  
> anyway today was a okay day so have shitpost and no plot  
> I want to kiss my girlfriend but we're both awkward and idk   
> have a good day! <3


	8. UwU kill me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gremlin changed Laundrymatt’s name to Ratthew
> 
> Ratthew: why
> 
> Gremlin: something Lance said
> 
> Ruined: he calls Matt ‘ratthew’ all the time
> 
> Ratthew: that bitch
> 
> Ratthew: i’m gonna beat the shit out of him
> 
> Ratthew: fight me lance
> 
> Ratthew: i’ll beat you up
> 
> Sunshine: don’t hurt my bestfriend
> 
> Ratthew:I will
> 
> Sharpshooter: you wanna fight Ratthew?
> 
> Ratthew: fuck yeah

_Queer squad_

Dickweed: whats up fuckers

Cocaine: why do you have my phone

Dickweed: fuck you thats why

Takshit: why

-

_Trans dysphorian blues_

Sharpshooter: i can tell its going to be one of _those_ days

Sunshine: is there anything i can do to help

Sharpshooter: lmao no

Sharpshooter: depression is a bitch

Gremlin: i love you bitch

Sunshine: i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you bitch

Sharpshooter: <3

-

_Queer squad_

Sharpshooter: i know i complain like, everyday but i’m so lonely

Takashit: someone you know has to have B lunch

Sharpshooter: rolo and nyma do but…. Idk how i feel about that

Sharpshooter: yesterday i saw Nadia but i dont really wanna sit with her friends

Ruined: you have lunch with Nadia ???

Sharpshooter: oh boy

Ruined: oh boy you got to give her messages for me

Sharpshooter: oh no

-

Sharpshooter: i’m sad

Sharpshooter: I’m in Alfors class and he noticed so he told me to go to Corans class

Sharpshooter: i have Cavetown stuck in my head

Sharpshooter: oh hey Hunks in this class

Sharpshooter: Corans letting me sit behind his desk and blast my music

Sharpshooter: i love this man

Cocaine: how come Coran doesn’t let me do that :(

Allarming: cause the first time you met him it was after Shiro failed a test and you threatened to shit his throat

Ruined: oh my god

Cocaine: oh

-

_Ruined >Sharpshooter _

Ruined: you have a crush on that boy? How

Sharpshooter: i have no idea tbh

Sharpshooter: but he’s staring at me and my gay heart is going THUMP THUMP

Sharpshooter: *For Him plays*

-

_Klance ??_

Ruined: Lance won’t stop talking about Keith

Dickweed: lol Keith is staring at Lance gayyy

 

_sharpshooter > Ruined _

Sharpshooter: actually i know why

Sharpshooter: his lips look really soft and so damn kissable

Sharpshooter: and somehow he makes this hair _work?_

Sharpshooter: like damn

Sharpshooter: also he has like _violet_ eyes

Sharpshooter: who the fuck has VIOLET eyes ronnie

Sharpshooter: and when he gets really focused he sticks his tongue out just a little

Sharpshooter: hot

Ruined: Lance

Sharpshooter: FUCK he's cute

Sharpshooter: i’m so fucking gay

-

_Klance ??_

Ruined:[screenshot.jpg]

Gremlin: gay

Sunshine: cute tbh

Dickweed: I showed Takashi and he said ‘oh boy those boys are gonna kill us’

Shayaway: thats like hunk level of cute

Sunshine: aww thanks babe <3

Gremlin: gross

Ruined: back on topic how are we going to get them together?

Laundrymatt: we gotta get one of them to confess

Gremlin: bed sharing

Ruined: OwO

Dickweed: YES we can go on an overnight trip and have them sleep in the same bed :)

Gremlin: f u c k y e a h

Laundrymatt: F U C K Y E A H

-

_Trans dysphorian blues_

Sharpshooter: ew ew ew you know those people i used to be friends with when i saw going through my bi crisis?

Gremlin: those hoes? Yeah

Sharpshooter: they keep dead naming me and calling me slurs because one of them is in Corans class and i’m always in there tbh

Gremlin: i’m gonna fucking fight them

Sunshine: what are there names?

Sunshine: i will poison theM

Sharpshooter: pls don’t

Sunshine: why not :(

Sharpshooter: i don’t want my best friend to go to jail :(

sunshine: MY MOMS WILL BAIL ME OUT

Sharpshooter: still it’ll be on your record forever

Sunshine: i guess

Gremlin: i’ll do it

Sharpshooter: PIDGE

Gremlin: matt will help too

Sharpshooter: that rat

-

_Queer squad_

Allarming: Bloom is amazing i stan troye this has been a psa

Sharpshooter: i hate my body i hate my body

Ruined: :(

Sharpshooter: hahahahahahahaha

Sharpshooter: i’m in mrs.g’s class and she refuses to call me lance i’m gonna cry

Allarming: i’ll fight her

Ramen: i’ll help babe

Sharpshooter: no

Allarming: i’ll get dad and papa to fight her

Sharpshooter: yeet she called on my to give the presentation wish me fucking luck lol

Allarming: yeet i’m gonna send papa to beat the _shit_ out of her

Samurai: I’m GaY

Dickweed: we know

Cocaine: but I’m like SO gay

Takahit: jesus what happened

Gremlin: i showed him _the picture_

Samurai: bitch

Gremlin: give me what i want

Cocaine: i won’t do that

Cocaine: I’ll do most anything but that

Dickweed: what did they want you to do?

Gremlin: kiss lance

Laundrymatt: do it bitch

_Gremlin changed Laundrymatt’s name to Ratthew_

Ratthew: why

Gremlin: something Lance said

Ruined: he calls Matt ‘ratthew’ all the time

Ratthew: that bitch

Ratthew: i’m gonna beat the shit out of him

Ratthew: fight me lance

Ratthew: i’ll beat you up

Sunshine: don’t hurt my bestfriend

Ratthew:I will

Sharpshooter: you wanna fight Ratthew?

Ratthew: fuck yeah

Sharpshooter: meet me in the denny’s parking lot at 3am

Sharpshooter: Keith i need your knife

Cocaine: Shiro has it

Sharpshooter: shiro i need it

Takashit: no

Dickweed: give it to him shiro i need to see it

Takashit: no

Dickweed: :(

Ratthew: guess we’ll have a fist fight

Sharpshooter: you’re on

-

Allarming: Romelle is so cute omg

Ramen: allura is so cute omg

Allarming:(˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.

Ramen: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ♡*( ͡˘̴ ͜ ʖ̫ ͡˘̴ )*♡･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Sharpshooter: ew

Ruined: you’re one to talk

Sharpshooter fuck you ronnie

Cocaine: what

Sharpshooter: FUCKYOURONNIE

Gremlin: oh my god veronica

Sunshine: 10/10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know whats my biggest problem  
> hair  
> i want long hair but if i grow out my hair i'll just look like a girl  
> i want to look like mike faist  
> i have problems  
> and i'm gay  
> (つ ♡ ͜ʖ ♡)つ(つ ♡ ͜ʖ ♡)つ(つ ♡ ͜ʖ ♡)つ(つ ♡ ͜ʖ ♡)つ(つ ♡ ͜ʖ ♡)つ


	9. owo fluff ?? in this fic??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dickweed: lance i’ve been wondering about this for a while  
> Dickweed: but what does my name mean  
> Sharpshooter: from Bill and Teds excellent adventure  
> Dickweed: ??  
> Sharpshooter: in the movie on of the guys calls this other guy a dickweed  
> Sharpshooter: and one of the actors is Keanu Reeves  
> Sharpshooter: and Keanu Reeves looks like Adam Driver  
> Dickweed: oh my god

Broganes + Adam  
Cocaine: Lance looks sad what do i do ?  
Takashit: uhhhhhh  
Takashit: idk draw something for him  
Cocaine: i will never give anyone any of my art  
Dickweed: well looks like your done for  
Cocaine: :(  
-  
Cocaine> Sunshine  
Cocaine: Lance looks sad is there anything i can do?  
Sunshine: idk dude he’s been down in the dumps lately  
Sunshine: its probably depression so just let him know you value him  
Cocaine: thank Hunk  
Sunshine: you’re welcome  
-  
Sharpshooter>Ruined  
Sharpshooter: RONNIE  
Sharpshooter: KEITH GAVE ME SOME ART HE DID  
Sharpshooter: OH MY GOOOOOD  
Ruined: thats gaay  
Sharpshooter: I KNOW BUT ITS SO CUTE ??  
Sharpshooter: HE DREW A BI TRANS BOY NAMED LEANDRO AND FUCK DID HE KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT GOING BY LEANDRO?  
Sharpshooter: AND HE’S LIKE 10/10  
Sharpshooter: RONNIE MY GAY ASS CAN’T HANDLE THIS  
-  
Sunshine>Cocaine  
Sunshine: whatever you did worked cause he’s bouncing off the walls  
Cocaine: i just gave him some of my art ?  
-  
Broganes + Adam  
Cocaine: i gave him some of my art and apparently he’s A LOT happier now ?  
Takashit: i told you  
Cocaine: it’s just some concept art of an OC ??  
Cocaine: i mean it is based off of him  
Cocaine: oh my god he just saw me and he had the biggest smile on his face my gay heart can’t take it  
Cocaine: HE’S RAMBLING ABOUT HOW GOOD I AM CALL 911 MY GAY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS  
Dickweed: thats GAYY  
Cocaine: adam you’re gay  
Takashit: yeah adam  
Dickweed: :((  
-  
Queer squad  
Gremlin: fight me Hunk  
ShayAway: what did he do  
Gremlin: he took the last cookie  
Sunshine: pidge you had like 20  
Gremlin: what if i wanted 21 :(  
Sunshine: suck it  
Shayaway: yeah suck it pidge  
Gremlin: :(  
-  
Klance ??  
Sunshine changed changed the chat name to Klance is canon king(KICK)  
Sunshine: keith gave lance some of his art and i’ve never seen him more happy ?  
Ronnie: it’s all he’s been talking about  
Dickweed: Keith too  
Dickweed: suck it i’m adding takashi  
Dickweed added Takashit to the chat  
Takashit: sigh  
Takashit: kick  
Shayaway: KICK  
Gremlin: KICK  
Sunshine: KICK  
Dickweed: KICK  
Ruined: KICK  
Allarming: K I C K  
Ramen: K I C K  
Ratthew: K I C K  
-  
Queer squad  
Sharpshooter: hello 911 keith is good at art  
Cocaine: I’m not even that good lance  
Sharpshooter: BUT YOU ARE  
Takashit: you are keith  
Cocaine: you’re my brother of course you like it  
Dickweed: you are keith  
Cocaine: ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡(っ ͡° ل͜ ͡°)っ✂╰⋃╯  
Dickweed: KEITH  
Cocaine: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
Sharpshooter:(˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.  
Cocaine: (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡  
Sharpshooter: (つ ♥灬 ͜ʖ 灬♥)つ  
Cocaine: (灬 ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥灬)  
Sunshine: kick?  
Takashit: sigh  
Takashit: kick  
Cocaine: kick?  
Sharpshooter: Kick??  
Gremlin: SHHHHHH  
Sharpshooter: KICK ??  
Cocaine: ( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ)╭∩╮  
Gremlin: ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿  
Sharpshooter: ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ  
Sharpshooter: ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿   
Cocaine: <:::::[]=¤ (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)  
Sunshine: HE’S GOT A KNIFE  
Takashit: uhhhhhhhh Keith put the knife away  
Cocaine: No  
Dickweed: let him have it babe  
Cocaine: yeah let him have it babe  
Dickweed: ━╤デ╦︻(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)  
Cocaine: (∩ ͡ ° ʖ ͡ °) ⊃-(===>  
Allarming: imagine thinking Troye Sivan is straight  
Ramen: babe  
Allarming: 乁(✿ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)و  
Ramen: ( ͡♥ 3 ͡♥)  
Allarming: ( ˶˘ ³˘(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)♡  
Ramen: ✩·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )*̩̩͙✩·͙˚̩̥̩̥.  
Allarming: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ♡*( ͡˘̴ ͜ ʖ̫ ͡˘̴ )*♡･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Ratthew: ȉ̶̦̤͍̰͎̟̤̫̲̓̈́̇͘ ̵̡̗̥̩̥̬̬̠̻̾̓̎͗̏̔̍̿͆̌̕͠a̴̻͍̫̯͒m̵̢̰̺̯͕̲̞̖̩̯̱͗̂͘ ̸̗̲̳̠̻͔̦̗̣̭͎̟̗̰͗̒́̓̄͆͌̓̅̄̾̅͝ļ̶͉̯͔̪̮̟̱̅͊̾͠o̴̧̱̝̲̘̞͙͉͇̟͌̓̑͊̽̇̽̔͆͛n̷̢̧̨̝̬̱̼̹̬̺͚̅̌̃̎͊̎͌͆͑ͅë̴͍͇̳̥̞͇̖͎̰͓͇̭͖͚́̐͛̚l̵̡͇͖̝̥͍̰̻̖̦̖̓̽͆̒̀͑̆̚͝y̶̨̨̧̠͙̤̘̾̈

 

Sharpshooter: me too  
Ratthew: bi buds?  
Sharpshooter: bi buds

 

 

Cocaine: ☠ ⛥̵̫͙̭̗͓̻̎̃̑̈́̕ͅ ̴̨̧̨̡̛̠̮̳̬̩͖̺̳̯̱̖̫̫̪͓͆͐̽̊̏̂̂̄̈́̔̊̇̑̃̃̀̍͛̂̇̄̓͜͝͠ͅ☠̴̠̬͖̲̪̺̝̻͇̝̞̺̟̜͎̖̻̟̘̱͇̖̔̈́̓̍̈͐̅͛̒̃̂̈̇͌̌͂̈́̌̑͗͗͆̅̚͜͝ ̶͓̌̍͋̐̈́̓̒̀̾͐̈̓͊̎͋̉͒͠͠͠w̴̛̛̘͉̲͇̟͎̦͍̗̯̼̣̫͖̣͔͖̣͕͚̉͌̍̐̈͐̎̏̋̔͊̐̈́̃͆͐͘͝͝ͅh̵̡̘̤̺̣͎͚͖̥͎̪̻͚͖͇͑̅͂̇̒̍̉̃̊̐̕y̶̢̨͖̮͎͓̣͙̝̣͎̗̼̣̠̱̙̺͙̹̳̬̗̓̉̽͜ ̸̡͚̦̣̪͚̝̗͇̳̲̺̙̩̍̃̃̈́̅̏̿̄̽͊̕͜ͅw̶̨̜͕͚̞̔͐͑̓̿͒̉̒͗͒͝͠͝o̸̡̡̟̭̮̝̠͍̭̜̲̫͎͕̩̙̽̈́̉̉̎̄̿̚ͅͅn̸̛̦̝͍̙͖̖̭̗̝͓͕͍̬̼̭̪̞͖̩̹̾̓̔̓̈́̉̍̽̈̾̅̕;̷̨̡̧͓͍͉̗̗̫̞̪̝̲̙̥͍̘̫̩͇̰͇̗̼̟̖͛̐̾̃́̎̅̓̏̉̚͘t̴̻̖̪̠̭̞̼̜̭̰̿͑̇̈͒͛̾͊̊͗̂ͅ ̶̨̜̰͙͚̥̥̿̿y̸͖͓͓̮̣̞̜̼̥̪̘͇̺̳̯͈̍̕͝͝ơ̶̡̨̛̬̠̜͍͖̣͉͇̣͖̭̪̫͖͖̯̝̩̝̳̳͕͉͑͌̍̄̆̏̏̈̈͆͐̿̒̎̓͛̃̽̀͘̕ͅụ̶̢̧̝̫͍͙̗̦͆̊̈́͆̃̓̎̿̿͗͆̑̚͝ ̷̡̧̧͍̜͚̩̫̱̮̙̯̞̘̤̙͍̪͇̣̳̀̈̒͛̓͑̐́̎̋̿̽̾͆͊͒̔́̈́͘̚͝ļ̴̘̞̳͆͐̓̏̌͆̏̓̏̅̑͒͆͊̉͗̿͘͝o̶̧̬͚̬̻̯͕͍̙̮͕̣̫̥͉̭̣̹̘̻͓͖̲̍̔͆̓̈́͑̕̕͜͝v̴̢̨̢̳̻̗̠̬̜̞̞͉̺͈͓̪̝̻̯̪̹͔̾̓͋̌͋͛̈̏̽̏͌̌͌͂̅̏̀̚͘͠ͅë̶͎́̽̍͊̒̕̕ ̸̧͎͎̲̖̲̯̑̀̍͐̏̋̈́̀ṃ̶̧̧̨̛͚͍̟̺͉̦̯̮̝̞̦̠̙̹͇̯̓̃̉̈́̽̄ę̷̨̡̘̻̜̼̪͕̞̹̭̙̘͙̱͚̟͚̜̻͚̜͇̘͎̓͛̒͆̏̄̌̽́̋͊̍̐̈́̈́͆̀̍͘͜ ̸̗̠͊̈́͝☠̵̛͚͇̯̱̜̠͕̓̃͐̑̽͗̑̔̇̆̃̆̐͊̔̈́̄͂͘̚̕͜͝ ̴̱̪̥̱͗⛧̵̢͈̯͕̗͇͕̪͙̻̠̟̣̝̜͈̬͓̮̼̎͑̾̎̾̃̇̾̓̓̄̅͊̕͜͝ ⛧

 

Sharpshooter: I love you (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡  
Cocaine:✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  
Sharpshooter: (づ ♥ ᴥ ♥ )づ  
Gremlin: *whispers* kick  
Gremlin: OH FUCK LANfghjkjgjft  
Sharpshooter: how the tables have turned  
Ratthew: thank god they’re gone  
Gremlin: :(((  
Ratthew: oh i mean LANCE HOW COULD YOU??  
Sharpshooter: AND YOU ONLY LIVE FOREVER IN THE LIGHTS YOU MAKE WHEN WE WERE YOUNG WE USED TO SAY THAT YOU ONLY HEAR THE MUSIC WHEN YOUR HEART BEGINS TO BREAK   
Cocaine: NOW WE ARE THE KIDS FROM YESTERDAY  
Sunshine: why are you listening to The Kids From Yesterday?  
Sharpshooter: cause its a fucking good song fite me  
Sharpshooter: Me? Listening to MCR, Troye Sivan and Billie Eilish? More likely than you think  
Allarming: BILLIE EILISH  
Sharpshooter: BILLIE EILISH  
Cocaine: Billie Eilish?  
Sharpshooter: YOU’VE NEVER LISTENED TO BILLIE EILISH?  
Cocaine: no?  
Sharpshooter: take my earbud rn young man  
-  
Klance is canon king(KICK)  
Gremlin: Keith has his head on lances shoulder   
Gremlin[image.png]  
Sunshine: uwu  
Ronnie: god i ship them so hard  
-  
Queer squad  
Cocaine: billie eilish is pretty good  
Allarming: FUCK YEAH  
Shayaway: Billie Eilish ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Sharpshooter: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Billie Eilish  
Dickweed: lance i’ve been wondering about this for a while  
Dickweed: but what does my name mean  
Sharpshooter: from Bill and Teds excellent adventure  
Dickweed: ??  
Sharpshooter: in the movie on of the guys calls this other guy a dickweed  
Sharpshooter: and one of the actors is Keanu Reeves  
Sharpshooter: and Keanu Reeves looks like Adam Driver  
Dickweed: oh my god  
Takashit: i love Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure  
Ruined: me too tbh  
Sharpshooter: its a family favorite  
Gremlin: this weekend we should get together and watch it  
Ratthew: hecc yeah  
Shayaway: who’s house  
Gremlin: mine  
Gremlin: mom + dad are out of town  
Cocaine: they leave you alone  
Ratthew: we have to promise not to burn down the house  
Gremlin: we sign a contract and everything  
Ratthew: haven’t burned it down yet  
Takashit: congrats

Sharpshooter> Ruined  
Sharpshooter: what if i sang a song for Keith?  
Ruined: what  
Sharpshooter: I’m feeling really confident rn  
Ruined: what song?  
Sharpshooter: i was thinking Tear In My Heart?  
Sharpshooter: or maybe For Him  
Ruined: both  
Sharpshooter: im going for tear in my heart  
Ruined: fucking do it  
Sharpshooter: when tho  
Ruined: when youre ready  
-  
Klance is canon king(KICK)  
Ruined:[Screenshot.png]  
Takashit: keith will cry and then make out with him  
Sunshine: HE SUGGESTED TEAR IN MY HEART ??  
Ruined: Yeah?  
Sunshine: OH MY GOD  
Sunshine: PIDGE YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS  
Gremlin: HECC YEAH  
Ratthew: ??  
Sunshine: HE TOLD ME THAT IF HE EVER SANG THAT TO SOMEONE HE WAS REALLY INTO THEM  
Dickweed: OH FUCK  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had an A+ day to here you go  
> the good stuff  
> i have a therapist and i should tell her about my gender dysphoria but shes religious(shes mormon) and like nah i'll suffer  
> fun fact my family is mormon and it SUCKS  
> to much transphobia/homophobia  
> not everyone just a majority  
> (my best friends respect my pronouns and stuff and they go to church with me so *shrug*)  
> if you're having a bad day heres a calming playlist <3  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCZ233_W3RMsijZU56TG8ejLSByKFfRF2


	10. romance ? my CHEMICAL ROMANCE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shayaway: yeet my brother is being annoying
> 
> Gremlin: lol me too
> 
> Ruined: same
> 
> Shayaway: hey my brother pushed me
> 
> Ruined: so I’m starting a kickstarter to put him down
> 
> Gremlin: benefits of killing him would be id get pushed less
> 
> Ratthew: :(
> 
> Sharpshooter: :(
> 
> Ruined: <3
> 
> Ratthew: no heart for me
> 
> Gremlin: fuck you

Sharpshooter: do you ever cry for no reason

Cocaine: hahaha me too

Takashit: wtf are you guys okay?

Sharpshooter: no

Cocaine: shiro you know the answer to that

Ratthew: we’re still on for movie night tonight right?

Sharpshooter: ronnie ask mama and papi

Ruined: yes

Ratthew: lit

Sunshine: should i bring food or cook there

Gremlin: cook here

Sunshine: k but neither matt nor you are allowed in the kitchen

Ratthew: valid

Gremlin: valid

-

_ boneless>Sharpshooter _

Boneless: this is Mora McClain right?

Sharpshooter: uh… yeah

Boneless: oh good! This is Nadia Rizavi

Sharpshooter: hello?

Boneless: I was wondering…. Does your sister like girls?

Sharpshooter: which one

Boneless: veronica

Sharpshooter: most definitely 

Boneless: thanks Mora

-

_ Boneless>Ruined _

Boneless: hey Veronica!

-

_ Ruined>Sharpshooter _

Ruined: NADIA MESSAGED ME WHAT DO I DO

Sharpshooter: ASK HER OUT

Ruined: NO

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Boneless: GUYS SHE HASN’T RESPONDED

Hahah RYAN: chill she might be busy

Fucker: Ryan you couldn;t even talk to Mora when you had a crush on her

Hahah RYAN: fuck you james

-

_ Ruined>Boneless _

Ruined: hey Nadia!

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Boneless: SHE ANSWERED

Hahah RYAN: told you

-

_ Boneless> Ruined _

Boneless: a little birdy told me you like girls

Ruined: lance that bitch

Boneless: Lance? I asked Mora

Ruined: oh shit

-

_ Ruined>Sharpshooter _

Ruined: LANCE 

Sharpshooter: DID YOU ASK HER OUT

Ruined: uhhh no

Ruined: I CALLED YOU LANCE AND AAAAAAAH

Sharpshooter: ASK HER OUT IDC

-

_ Ruined> Boneless _

Ruined: nvm what did you want?

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Boneless:[screenshot.png]

Boneless: ???

Hahah RYAN: oh yeah Lance is trans

Hahah RYAN: he used to be mora

Boneless: oh

Boneless: oh shit i should apologize to him

-

_ Boneless>Ruined _

Boneless: i wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date?

Ruined: FUCK YEAH

Boneless: OH MY GOD I’D THOUGHT YOU’D SAY NO

Ruined: WHY WOULD I YOU’RE SO CUTE

Boneless: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH YOU TOO

Ruined: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Boneless: she said yes!

Hahah RYAN: !!

Fucker: !!!

Irony: !!!!

-

_ Ruined> Sharpshooter _

Ruined: SHE ASKED ME OUT AND CALLED ME CUTE !!!

Sharpshooter: FUCK YEAH

-

_ Boneless>Sharpshooter _

Boneless: sorry for dead naming you :(

Sharpshooter: its okay 

Boneless: it’s not but i wont do it again

Sharpshooter: you have permission to date ronnie

Boneless: shes older than you ??

Sharpshooter: i am the man of the house

-

_ Boneless>Ruined _

Boneless: your brother is weird

Ruined: ur rite but which one

Boneless: lance

Ruined: extra correct

-

_ Queer squad _

_ Ruined added Boneless to the chat _

Ruined: THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND NADIA

Boneless: hi

Takashit: hello

Gremlin: oh god another couple

Dickweed: stfu pidge

Gremlin: no

Ratthew: i’ll change the wifi password

Gremlin: matt youre single

Ratthew: yeah but Adam is my buddy

Sunshine: hello Nadia!

Ruined: name/ pronouns sound off now

Ratthew: Matt he/him

Allarming: allura she/her

Ramen: Romelle she/her

Sharpshooter: lance he/him

Cocaine: keith he/him

Sunshine: Hunk he/him

Shayaway: shay she/her

Takashit: shiro he/him

Dickweed: Adam he/him

Gremlin: pidge they/them

Boneless: hello! Nadia she/her

Gremlin: hunk i want food

Sunshine: i’m sleeping zzzzzz

Gremlin: fuck you hunk i’m just a smol child

Shayaway: square up pidge

Gremlin: oh fuck

Shayaway: that right bitch

Sunshine: i have woken up to love my gf

Shayaway:(つ 灬♥ ͜ʖ ♥灬)つ

Sunshine:(づ♥ᴥ♥)づ

Shayaway:(づ◕ᗜ◕)づ

Sunshine: (づ✿◡✿)づ

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Boneless: Veronica’s friends are weird

_ Boneless added Ruined to the chat _

Ruined: whats up fuckers

Hahah RYAN: hi ronnie

Ruined: RYAN!

Ruined: Lance betrayed me so i’m gonna tell you rn he had the biggest crush on you in like 8th

Ruined: like he used to come one and be like “ryan Kinkade is  _ sooooo _ hot oh my god”

Ruined: it was torture

Fucker: OwO

Fucker: RYAN YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A COUPLE

Hahah RYAN: fuck you james

Irony: yeah fuck james

Fucker: why am i friends with y’all

Irony: remember when you had ur bi crisis so you bullied your crush

Irony: and then he beat you up

Fucker: we don’t talk about keith in this chat

Ruined: KEITH

Ruined: OwO

Ruined: my gay son

Fucker: oh fuck

-

_ Queer Squad _

Ruined: hey keith do you remember James Griffin

Cocaine: yeah he used to bully me until i beat the shit out of him

Ruined: he had a crush on you

Cocaine: WHAT

Cocaine: HOW DO YOU KNOW

Ruined: Nadia is friends with him

Boneless: fact

-

Shayaway: yeet my brother is being annoying

Gremlin: lol me too

Ruined: same

Shayaway: hey my brother pushed me 

Ruined: so I’m starting a kickstarter to put him down

Gremlin: benefits of killing him would be id get pushed less

Ratthew: :(

Sharpshooter: :(

Ruined: <3

Ratthew: no heart for me

Gremlin: fuck you

Sharpshooter: CORAN HANDED ME COFFEE AND SAID “i don’t like this here” I LOVE THIS MAN

Gremlin: we know

Allarming: that bitch

Sharpshooter: don’t call your father a bitch

Allarming: yeet

Ramen: babe

Allarming: sorry papa :(

Boneless: wtf is happening

Ruined: tbh no one knows you just get used to it

Ratthew: yep

 

_ Ruined added Boneless, Allarming, Ramen, and Shayaway to chat _

_ Ruined named the chat gay girls _

Allarming: this is great

Boneless: can i add someone

Ruined: yeah babe

_ Boneless added Irony _

Irony: who is everyone

Irony: I’m Ina (i’m pan ace)

Ruined: Veronica! Lesbo

Allarming: Allura lesbian dating Romelle <3

Ramen: Romelle trans lesbian and dating Allura <3

Shayaway: Shay pan

Boneless: ur savior Nadia i’m bi

Ruined: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Boneless: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Irony: thats gay

Boneless: :(

-

_ Dream meme team _

Ratthew: WHATS UP FUCKERS

Gremlin: why do you have my phone

Sharpshooter: FUCK YOU THATS WHY

Dickweed: fave vine?

Ratthew: say kid backwards. Dik? Hahaha thats gay

Gremlin: hey have you seen my razor? Yeah its right here

Sharpshooter:  dude you were so gone last night. what do u mean? you ate all the walls and the ceiling

Ramen:if I had a penny for every time I wasn't cool id have no pennies

Dickweed: this is my message to Jesus Christ. heyyyy jj wasssup

Ratthew: all good vines

Sharpshooter: you are all valid

-

_ Boneless added Ruined, Allarming, Ramen, Hahah RYAN, Sharpshooter, Cocaine, Dickweed, Takashit, Ratthew, Gremlin, Sunshine, Shayaway, Fucker, and Irony to the chat _

_ Boneless named that chat Help us _

Gremlin: why tf are there so many people

Fucker: Nadia wtf

Ruined: NAMES PRONOUNS EVERYONE

Sharpshooter: Lance he/him

Cocaine: Keith he/him

Dickweed: adam he/him

Takashit: Shiro he/him

Gremlin: Hunk he/him

Irony: Ina she/her

Ramen: Romelle she/her

Hahah RYAN: Ryan he/him

Allarming: Allura she/her

Shayaway: shay she/her

Gremlin: pidge they/them

Fucker: James he/him

Ratthew: Matt he/him

Cocaine: *squints eyes* James

Gremlin: oh fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for a late upload the computer disappeared ?  
> (my dad probably took it)  
> good news! I'm FINALLY getting me phone back after 2 months!  
> so you guys can talk to me on insta (i'll update y'all if i don't hve insta anymore.)(i'm 99% sure that my parents blame the internet for my suicide attempt)(also thats why i got my phone taken away)  
> ANYWAY how are you guys doing?!  
> also my girlfriend was being cute and i ended up staying after school watching her during the prep rally  
> (shes a flute in the school band)  
> OKAY my insta is @Nonbinaryconnor   
> I don't know when i'll get my phone back but it will probably be by monday  
> thank you for reading!


	11. Uhh gay

Queer Squad  
Cocaine: oh no i’m watching this artist on youtube and now i want to BURN all my art

Sharpshooter: YOUR ART IS AMAZING FIGHT ME (ง ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿  
Cocaine: sounds fake but okay  
Ratthew: IS EVERYONE STILL ON FOR TONIGHT  
Allarming: FUCK YEAH  
Sharpshooter: can we watch monty python and the search for the holy grail too? Gremlin: yes  
Sharpshooter: fuck yeah  
-  
Sharpshooter: I FORGOT THE ENGLISH WORD FOR THAT ANIMAL Cocaine: which one  
Sharpshooter: THE SLIMY LITTLE SHIT THAT LIVE IN SHELLS Cocaine: a snail?  
Sharpshooter: THATS THE BITCH  
Boneless: is english your second language?  
Sharpshooter: yep  
Boneless: lit  
Sharpshooter: yep  
-  
Ratthew: ARE YOU FUCKERS READY  
Sunshine: FUCK YEAH  
Shayaway: HECC YEEAH  
Ratthew: Hunk you’re already here  
Sunshine: :( so i’m not aloud to be happy  
Gremlin: no  
Shayaway:( ͡ಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠ)  
Gremlin: i m-mean y-y-yes  
Sunshine: thx babe :)  
Sharpshooter: what time should i get there?  
Gremlin: idk before 7  
Sharpshooter: k i’m on my way  
Ruined: LANCE I’M NOT READY  
Sharpshooter: Nadia tell ur girlfriend to chill  
Boneless: chill babe  
Ruined: ( ́༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡  
Takashit: keith adam and i should be there in around 45 minutes Takashit: make that an hour and a half  
Sharpshooter: ???  
Takashit: Keith’s freaking out  
Sharpshooter: why?  
-  
Klance is canon king(KICK)  
Takashit: he’s freaking out because Lance is gonna be there  
Gremlin: gay  
-  
Sharpshooter>Cocaine

Sharpshooter: Dude you okay?  
Sharpshooter: Shiro said you’re freaking out  
Cocaine: it’s nothing  
Cocaine: just emotions you know  
Sharpshooter: yeah i get it  
Sharpshooter: You can talk to me if you need too  
Cocaine: thats m8  
Sharpshooter:(˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ノ⌒♡*:・。.  
Cocaine:( ́༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡  
-  
Klance is canon king(KICK)  
Takashit changed the chat name to KICK  
Takashit: Keith is now freaking out because Lance checked up on him and sent some hearts  
Dickweed: he’s a disaster gay just like his brother ( ͡° ͜V ͡°)  
Takashit: thats gonna be a problem  
-  
Queer squad  
Takashit: I got keith out of the house  
Takashit: we are on our way!  
-  
Queer Squad  
Sunshine: I can’t believe Keith and Lance are asleep on each other  
Gremlin: that gay  
Ruined: Nadia is asleep on me so i’m pretty gay rn  
Sunshine: I can’t believe Lance didn’t snuggle with me :(  
Shayaway: you were snuggling with me :(  
Sunshine: :((((  
Shayaway: :((((((((((  
Ruined: I’m gonna call my mom to see if we can sleep over  
Shayaway: okay  
Gremlin: Shiro and Adam are being gay  
Shayaway: what did you expect  
Gremlin: i honestly have no idea  
Ruined: my mom said yes if ‘the boys and girls sleep in separate rooms’ but like we’re all gay and pidge is Nonbinary so nah  
Shayaway: well goodnight  
Sunshine: yeah i’m going to bed too  
Gremlin: night pussy’s

Ruined: i’m gonna go back to cuddling Ruined: night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating yesterday I got into a fight with my parents  
> Yeet  
> Currently watching Jimmy Nutron with my brothers  
> How do I deal with my depression you ask? I blast music and watercolor  
> *shurg*  
> Have swell night!  
> -Connor


	12. uh mostly langst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kool Kids Klub
> 
> Hahah RYAN: GUYS
> 
> Hahah RYAN: HELP I LOST GRIFFIN
> 
> Fucker: hahahahahhaah
> 
> Irony: James wtf
> 
> Boneless: what
> 
> Boneless: james where are you
> 
> Fucker: i’m behind the trashcan eating Nachos
> 
> Irony: iconic

_ Trans dysphorian Blues _

Sharpshooter: i’m gay and sad

Sharpshooter: mostly sad

Sunshine: why you sad

Gremlin: why you mad

Sharpshooter: when you can be

Sharpshooter: Glade™ 

Sunshine: but seriously why are you sad :(

Sharpshooter: i honestly have no idea

Gremlin: is there anything we can do?

Sharpshooter: idk

Sharpshooter: i kinda want cuddles

Sunshine: coming

-

_ Dream meme team _

Dickweed: fellas? Is it gay to be gay

Ratthew: *think emoji*

Gremlin: Hmmmmm

Sharpshooter: i’m sorry to say this

Sharpshooter: but yes

Dickweed: nooooooooooooo

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Hahah RYAN: GUYS

Hahah RYAN: HELP I LOST GRIFFIN

Fucker: hahahahahhaah

Irony: James wtf

Boneless: what

Boneless: james where are you

Fucker: i’m behind the trashcan eating Nachos

Irony: iconic

Boneless: you are trash

Fucker: :(

Ruined: it’s true

Fucker: you don’t really know me

Ruined: but you hurt me son so *shrug*

Fucker: BOTH KEITH AND SHIRO ALREADY BEAT ME UP FOR THAT

Ruined: go Keith and shiro

-

_ Queer squad _

Dickweed: ugh Mr. Sendak is so homophobic

Dickweed: he’s talking trash about alfor and Coran

Takashit: should we do what we did to Mr. H?

Dickweed: yep

Takashit: coming

Allarming: this will be great

Boneless: ??

Ramen: they make out in front of homophobic teachers

Boneless: goals

Allarming: wait record what he says about my dads and you making out in front of him

Takashit: got it babe

Dickweed: I’ve recorded everything he says them

Dickweed:[video]

Sharpshooter: amazing

Cocaine: ew

Shayaway: fuck it up kenneth

Sunshine: ohhh fuck it up

Cocaine: i am offended

-

_ Boneless>Ruined _

Boneless: does lance have B lunch?

Ruined: yeah

Boneless: who does he sit with?

Ruined: no one

Boneless: me and ryan are gonna sit with him

Ruined: ( ͡♥ 3 ͡♥)

-

Boneless: no wonder Lance is so skinny he eats like nothing

Ruined: what

Boneless: all he ate for lunch today was chips and a granola bar

Ruined: what

-

_ LANCE PROTECTION _

_ Ruined added Boneless to the chat _

Ruined: tell them what you said

Boneless: lance only ate chips and a granola bar for lunch ?

Sunshine: FUCK

Gremlin: I’m going to shove food down his throat

Sunshine: that won’t help pidge

Gremlin: I know but i’ll do it anyways

Boneless: ??

Sunshine: Last year his depression got so bad he didn’t eat for like 2 days straight

Ruined: how come i’m just now knowing about it?????????????

Sunshine: i  _ tried _ to get him to talk to you guys about it but he wouldn’t 

-

_ Trans Dysphorian Blues _

Sunshine: Nadia and Ryan sat with you at lunch today ?

Sharpshooter: Yeah!

Gremlin: Nadia told us you didn’t really eat anything

Sharpshooter: uhhhh

Sharpshooter: I’m goonnnaaa

_ Sharpshooter left the chat _

Sunshine: frick

_ Sunshine added Sharpshooter to the chat _

Sharpshooter: HUNK   
Sunshine: JUST TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG

Sharpshooter: ugh

Sharpshooter: just not feeling great

Sunshine: :((

Sunshine: Love you but honey you need to eat

Gremlin: i know i poke fun but Lance you _ really  _ need to eat

Sharpshooter: i know i just

Sharpshooter: just don’t see a point

Gremlin: if you don’t eat you die

Sharpshooter: that sounds great

Sunshine: LANCE NO 

Sharpshooter: oops

Gremlin: Lance you can’t die

Gremlin: you’re literally the glue to the squad

Sharpshooter: sound fake but okay

Gremlin: ITS TRUE

-

_ Queer squad _

Gremlin: who keeps this squad from killing each other/ themselves

Takashit: Lance

Ruined: Lance

Dickweed: lance

Boneless: ive been in this chat for like 4 days but, lance

Allarming: Lance

Romelle: Lance

Cocaine: Lance

Ratthew: Lance

Cocaine: Lance

Sharpshooter: you guys are WRONG

Sunshine: FIGHT ME 

Allarming: LANCE YOU’RE AMAZING

Sharpshooter: sounds fake but okay

Allarming: I’ll get papa

Sharpshooter: allura, babe it’s  _ finnnne _

_ Allarming added Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe _

Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe: Hello! What seems to be the problem

Allarming: lance is sad 

Sharpshooter: I’m  _ Finnnne _

Sunshine: he didn’t eat lunch

Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe: Lance! You need to eat!

Sharpshooter: ahhhhhh

Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe: Come to my class during 6th i have some leftovers

Sharpshooter: thanks <3

Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe: oh i like that! <3

_ Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe has left the chat _

Sharpshooter: i love coran

-

Sharpshooter: by leftovers coran meant a restaurant

Sharpshooter: he had enough food to feed my extended family

Ruined: oh shit

  
  
  


_ PROTECT LANCE _

Ruined: uhhh our aunt is staying with us for a little while and she’s low key homophobic/transphobic

Ruined: she keeps telling lance to shave his legs and wear more feminine clothing and grow out his hair or else he’ll ‘look like a boy and never get a girlfriend’

Sunshine: oh no

Ruined: i can tell mama is kinda annoyed

Gremlin: at least she’s there

Ruined: yeah but she’s not gonna say anything

Sunshine: are we allowed to rescue you guys?

Ruined: no its family night

Sunshine: oh okay

-

Ruined: 99% sure lance is crying but his door is locked uhhh

-

_ Trans Dysphorian Blues _

Sharpshooter: IT’S ONLY THE 3RD WEEK OF SCHOOL AND I’M ALREADY FAILING A CLASS

Sharpshooter: DAMN I KNOW I’M AN IDIOT BUT IT’S USUALLY TAKES A MONTH FOR MY GRADES TO START SLIPPING

Sharpshooter: i have a FORTY in one of my classes

Sharpshooter: a F O R T Y

Sharpshooter: i want to F U C K I N G D I E

Sunshine: Lance buddy you’re not an idiot

Sharpshooter: i am though

Gremlin: Lance buddy i know an idiot when i see one and you are far from it

Sharpshooter: I know ur lying but thanks for trying

Gremlin: lance i’m not lying

Gremlin: you know whos an idiot? Lotor. Trump. mrs.G and mrs.mimes.

Gremlin: you might not be school smart or test smart but you’re still smart

Gremlin: you're smart in other ways

Gremlin: youre people smart. You know how to help people and what to say

Gremlin: your funny and can get along with practically anyone

Gremlin: which is honestly something i wish i had

Sharpshooter: I-I-

Gremlin: and you're Dumb either. You just can’t do busy work and your adhd doesn’t help contratration but you  _ get _ the materials and you  _ get _ what the teacher is saying you just can’t contratante for your life

Sharpshooter: thanks pidge

Sharpshooter: love you

Gremlin: <3

Sharpshooter: <3

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh this was mostly me venting?  
> yeah i looked at my grades and i had a 40 in photography  
> so yeah  
> and now my mother is yelling at me for being negative  
> oops  
> she's literally standing over my shoulder as i write this  
> oh yeah the mcclains are going to be the complete opposite of my parents  
> (my parents just pretend im cishet)  
> (which is fun when your literally dying form gender dysphoria)  
> (my brothers are kinda chill but they don't understand really)  
> ANYWAY party tattoos by dodie is great  
> I'll probably get my phone back today or tomorrow (YAY)  
> every single comment gives me LIFE  
> i read all of them  
> and they all make me smile  
> (i will sometimes read them if i'm feeling sad)


	13. uhhhhhh pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a weird chapter

_ Queer squad _

Ruined:  I’M THINKING OF COMING OUT TO MY PARENTS

Takashit: !!!

Sharpshooter: can i come out with you?

Ruined: HECC YEAH

Sunshine: youre doing it lance!!

Sharpshooter: yeah!

Cocaine: you’re gonna come out?!

Sharpshooter: YEAH

Ruined: WHEN DO YOU WANT TO DO IT?

Sharpshooter: TONIGHT AT DINNER?

Ruined: HECC YEAH

-

Sunshine: Oof i forgot its 9/11

Sharpshooter: oh yeah

Allarming: rip

Ramen: yeet

-

Cocaine: I’m giving up on art

Sharpshooters: WHAT WHY

cocaine: this freshman’s art is like WAY better than mine

Sharpshooter: IT DOESNT MATTER YOUR ART IS AMAZING

Cocaine: sounds fake but okay

Takashit: your art is really good Keith

Cocaine: WRONG

Dickweed: you are good Keith

Ruined: you are Keith

Cocaine: AHHHH LOVE 

-

Sharpshooter: uhhh I had a timed writing today

Sharpshooter: I suck at times writings

Shayaway: me too bae

Sharpshooter: YAY! I’m not alone!

Shayaway: <3

Sharpshooter: <3

-

_ Boneless>Ruined _

Boneless: lance didn’t eat lunch

Ruined: LANCE MCCLAIN 

Boneless: I gave him some of my food but he didn’t really eat a lot

-

_ Ruined> sharpshooter _

Sharpshooter: bro why aren’t you eating

Sharpshooter: uuuuuuhhhh

Sharpshooter: I hate like 100 cookies in interior design 

Ruined: bro

Ruined: you need to eat

Sharpshooter: I know

Sharpshooter: I just don’t like see the point

Ruined: lance you’ll die

Sharpshooter: the thing is I don’t  _ care  _ if I die

Ruined: lance….

Sharpshooter: I know I know Pidge already yelled at me

Ruined: lance we really care about you

Sharpshooter: I know

Sharpshooter: but like if I died I wouldn’t have to worry about college and grades and bills and all that stuff

Sharpshooter: it be easier to die than to live

Ruined: I’m coming to give you a hug

Ruined: I love you

Sharpshooter: I love you too

-

_ LANCE PROTECTION _

Ruined:[screenshot]

Sunshine: lance

Ruined: I know

Cocaine: :((

Takashit: oh….

Allarming: I’m gonna tell dad and papa lance is I a bad place. Maybe they’ll help. 

Gremlin: I’m gonna make that little shit know I love him

-

_ Gremlin>sharpshooter _

Gremlin:I’m gonna pull a prank in Mrs. mines wanna join in?

Sharpshooter: fuck yeah

Gremlin: Yass

Sharpshooter: what are we doing

Gremlin: I’ll tell you tomorrow 

Sharpshooter: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Gremlin: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah sorry this is short  
> it wasnt meant to be angsty but then i just started venting  
> I GOT MY PHONE BACK SO Y'ALL CAN HIT ME UP ON INSTAGRAM MY USERS ARE @Nonbinaryconnor AND MY ART ACCOUNT IS @nonbinary_connor_art !!!!!  
> YEET AHVE A GOOD DAY  
> part 2 will be ronnie and lance coming out + pidges prank on mrs.mimes


	14. uhhhhhhh pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof coming out  
> excuse my actual writing its carp

Trigger warning! Homophobic and transphobic language!  
Queer squad  
Ruined: AHHHHHHHH WE’RE GONNA DO THIS  
Sharpshooter: I KNOW  
Boneless: ARE YOU GUYS READY?  
Ruined: NO  
Sharpshooter: I JUST HOPE TÍA SAMANTHA DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING  
Ruined: OKAY ITS TIME FOR DINNER BYE I’LL FILL YOU IN LATER  
Sharpshooter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
-  
Lance and Veronica sit at the large Dinner table sporting their brothers Louis and Marco and their wives, mama and papa, Agathe, Their abuela and tia and niece and nephew.  
They ate dinner, though both were unnaturally quiet, which worried their family. Towards the end, Ronnie clapped her hands.  
“Me and la-Mora have something to tell you!” Veronica says, trying to keep her voice steddy. Their family glances nervously at each other. Veronica takes a deep breath, trying to soothe the butterflies in her stomach.  
“I’m Gay.”  
“I’m Bi,” Lance takes a deep breath, he’s gonna do it. He’s going to come out as trans “a-”  
Lance is cut off by tia Samantha laughing.  
“Next you’re going to tell me you’re a tranny.” lances heart drops into his stomach, tears gathering in his eyes  
“Tia Samantha, I am gay. I like girls. I have a girlfriend.”  
“Not in this house you don’t”  
“Don’t tell my children what they can and cannot do in my house.” mama says, pushing herself up form the table  
“Ale, you support this monstrosity?”  
“MONSTROSITY?” veronica shrieks  
“Ernesto, tell your wife and daughters how idiotic they’re being!”  
Papa shakes his head.  
“Samantha, i’m afraid, you’re the idiotic one in this situation.”  
“YOUR CHILDREN ARE FAGGOTS ERNESTO!” She screams.Lance, leaves, tears running down his face.  
“Shit. shit shit. LOOK WHAT YOU FUCKING DID” she screams, turning towards Tia Samantha before racing after Lance. Finding only a locked door.  
-  
Queer squad  
Ruined: shit shit shit shit  
Boneless: what happened?!  
Ruined: lance didn’t get to come out as trans because my aunt started yelling and using slurs and now he’s locked himself in his room and our family is fighting  
Ruined: its everyone else VS tia samantha but shes yelling slurs and lance won’t open his goddamn door  
Sunshine: shit shit shit shit  
Ruined: i would tell you guys to come over and help out but it’s a war zone  
Gremlin: oh shiiiit  
Gremlin” i’m coming over anyways  
Gremlin: i’m going through his window  
Ratthew: get the ice cream from out of the freezer  
Gremlin: i will  
-  
Lance sat on his bed, hands in his hair and knees pulled up to his chest, letting his tears hit the bed. He ignored veronicas pleading and stayed where he was, afraid that if he moved he’d be sucked into darkness.  
He heard the window open but didn’t register it until he felt someone wrap their arms around him.  
“Lance i’m sorry.”  
“I-I-I’m fi-ine” he choked out  
“Lance, its okay, i know you’re not.”  
“H-how could she say those things? Shes my Tia.”  
“I don’t know lance, I don’t know.”  
-  
Queer squad  
Gremlin: everything's a okay we are eating ice cream and watching Steven Universe from episode 1  
Ruined: can i come in?  
Gremlin: lance opened the door  
Ruined: can luis marco and agathe come in too?  
Gremlin: he said for a minute  
-  
LANCE PROTECTION  
Gremlin: lol nothing is okay he just doesn’t want to worry you   
Gremlin: he was having a panic attack when i came in  
Gremlin: it’s not good  
Ruined: we should leave and let him sleep  
Gremlin: okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhh i'm sadness  
> also coming out is scary but the mcclains are a good   
> Pidge and lance friendship is the bane of my existence  
> DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS???  
> I DO  
> !!  
> cant wait for shane's new series  
> again sorry its short  
> i kinda didn't eat for 2 days so my brain was not working  
> also depression


	15. uhhhhhhh pt3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

_ Queer squad _

Sharpshooter: lol last night was  _ WILD _

Sunshine: lance

Cocaine:lance

Takashit:lance

Ruined:lance

Gremlin:lance

Ratthew:lance

Dickweed:lance

Shayaway:lance

Ramen:lance

Allarming:lance

Sharpshooter:what

Sunshine: you good bud?

Sharpshooter: probs

Takashit: let us know if you need anything

Sharpshooter: will do

-

_ gremlin>sharpshooter _

Gremlin: meet me outside mrs.mimes room before school starts

Sharpshooter: :)

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Fucker: why is Pidge wheeling in a huge wagon full of penguins?

Boneless: probs one of their pranks

Irony: fuck yeah go Pidge

Irony: wait why isn’t Pidge in our gay girls chat?

Boneless: oh they’re nonbinary

Boneless: also aro ace

Irony: oh

Hahah RYAN: UwU lance is there

Boneless: do you still have a crush on him

Hahah RYAN: lol maybe?

Fucker: UR GAY

Hahah RYAN: bruh

Hahah RYAN: we’ve been friends forever you didn’t know?

Fucker: no ???

Irony: bruh

Boneless: well lance and keith are pinning after each other so…..

Hahah RYAN: lol its fine

Fucker: don’t cry ryan

Hahah RYAN: i’m not ??

Fucker: its okay to cry

Hahah RYAN: fuck u

-

_ Queer squad _

Gremlin: it has been done

Sharpshooter: uwu

Takashit: what have you done

Sunshine: are you guys why mrs. mimes is screaming?

Sharpshooter: hecc yeah

Gremlin: it gets better though :)

Cocaine: oh no

Sunshine: i have her 1st please tell me no one will be injured

Gremlin: i mean it’s  _ possible _

Gremlin: but probably not

Sunshine: thank god

-

Sunshine: All star is playing

Sunshine: my ears hurt

Cocaine: what did you guys do?

Sharpshooter: we put like 4,000 penguins in her room

Gremlin: and every half-hour her computer BLASTS all star

Sharpshooter: also ½ the penguins blast it too :)

Takashit: oh my god

Sunshine: oh thank god all star is over

Sharpshooter: i can’t wait to go to her class

-

Ramen: this is not good

Sunshine: the prank?

Ramen: yes but also she’s yelling at lance

Ramen: and she’s dead naming him i can literally see him folding in on himself

Ratthew: FUCK

Dickweed: whats she yelling about

Ramen: the penguins :(

Dickweed: bruh they didn’t hurt anyone why is he in trouble?

Cocaine: wtf mrs mimes?

Gremlin: mrs. mimes can suck my dick

Ramen: oh no she asked him to stay after class

Ramen: he said he had to get to his next period to help set up and she just yelled at him more

Ramen: he looks like he’s about to cry

Ruined: i’m here im queer and i’m ready to fight

Takashit: wtf is wrong with mrs. mimes

Ramen: he just started full on sobbing and mrs. mimes is still yelling at him?????   
Ramen: FUCK MRS. MIMES I’M TAKING HIM OUT OF THE CLASS

Sunshine: fuck i’m coming

-

Sunshine: all is not well

Sunshine: he’s having a panic attack and i’m 90% sure he’s spirling

Sunshine: going back to helping

-

Ramen: Mrs.Mimes really triggered something and i’m gonna kill her

Takashit: i’m gonna come help where are you guys?

Ramen: outside room 194

Takashit: i’ll be there in like 2 minutes

-

Cocaine: is lance okay?

Takashit: he’s calming down but he’s still in a really bad place

Cocaine: :((   
Takahit: romelle went back inside but i think anyone else will overwhelm him

Ruined: Do i need to call my mom to come pick him up?

Takashit: i don’t know

Takashit: he might be able to make it through the day

Takashit: i’ll wait and have him calm down before i ask if he wants to go home

-

Sunshine: Lance is mostly okay but he’s literally about to pass out so we’re taking him to the nurse

Ramen: Mrs.Mimes keeps asking me where he is and she’s going out the door now

Ramen: fuck

Ramen: 99% sure shes yelling again

Cocaine: Shiro will beat her up

Cocaine: and if he doesn’t 

Cocaine: i will

Shayaway: go keith

Ramen:oops she’s back inside again

Sunshine: she has the fucking NERVE to come outside and yell at lance when he clearly is not in the right mind

Sunshine: hes literally draped across shiro rn

Sunshine: he literally cannot stand on his own

Sunshine: he’s panicking again bye

Allarming: i’m going to beat up mrs.mimes

Allarming: i’m telling my dads rn about her

Allarming:well they’re pissed

Allarming: they’re going to have a ‘talk’ with her

Ramen: i fucking hope so

Sunshine: Lance has stopped panicking

Sunshine: we’re taking him to the nurse

-

Takashit: he passed out as soon as her hit those gross ass ‘beds’

Ruined: i’m going to call my mom and ask her to pick him up

Ruined: he needs to sleep

Ruined: he came into my room at like 3am crying

Cocaine: why is he at school then?

Ruined: he was dead set on coming

Ruined: he has the mcclain stubbornness so i just let him 

Cocaine: lmao i’m going to love that bitch till he can’t be loved no more

Dickweed: that was the gayest thing i’ve ever read

-

Ruined: shes picking him up

Sunshine: mk

-

Sunshine: mama mcclain had to carry him to the car he was out cold

Sunshine: hope he sleeps well

Cocaine: Me too

-

_ KICK _ _   
_ Sunshine: *side eyes emoji*

Gremlin: *side eyes emoji*

-

_ Queer club _

Sharpshooter: lmao that was wild

Cocaine: how are you lance?

Sharpshooter: better

Cocaine: yeah you slept for like 5 hours

Sharpshooter: i deserved it

Cocaine: yeah you did

Takashit: you’re alive!

Sharpshooter: yeah!

Sharpshooter: thanks for helping 

Takashit: no prob 

-

_ Cocaine>Sharpshooter _

Cocaine: how are you really doing

Sharpshooter: what do you mean?

Cocaine: i’ve had panic attacks 5 hour naps won’t solve everything

Sharpshooter: i mean i’m still upset over what tia samantha said

Sharpshooter: which is stupid because my family kicked her out ?

Cocaine: it’s not stupid

Cocaine: she was close to you. It’s normal to feel upset

Sharpshooter: i just

Sharpshooter: i’m worried that my family will be transphobic

Sharpshooter: like i know a lot of people who are like gay is okay! But they hate trans people and i don’t want any of my family to be like that

Cocaine: I can’t promise that your family will accept you but i can say someone in the chat will adopt you

Sharpshooter: thanks

Cocaine: are you thinking of coming out?

Sharpshooter: yeah

Sharpshooter: i think i’m just gonna get it off my chest tonight during dinner

Cocaine: wish you luck (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.

Sharpshooter: (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡

-

_ Sharpshooter>Ruined _

Sharpshooter: i’m gonna come out at dinner pls make sure i don’t hyperventilate and like pass out or smth

Ruined: !!!! i will !!!!

-

_ Queer squad _

Sharpshooter: I’M GONNA RIP THE BAND AID OFF AND COME OUT TO MY FAM 

Sunshine: !!!!!!!!   
Sunshine: AAAAHHH

Takashit: GOOD LUCK

Allarming: MY FAM WILL ADOPT YOU IF IT GOES SOUTH (which i doubt it will)

Ramen: !!!!!!! I KNOW HOW SCARY IT CAN BE GOOD LUCK

Gremlin: ^^ ITS WORTH IT IN THE END!!   
Cocaine:!!  (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.

Dickweed: GOOD LUCK

Ratthew: I LOVE YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT GOOD LUCK

-

Lance was unnaturally jumpy and quiet during dinner, not to mention he didn’t eat (even though it was his favorite). But his mama just pinned it on last nights fight and the panic attack he had earlier in the day. In the middle of dinner, he reached over and squeezed veronicas hand. She squeezed it back reassuringly and then cleared he throat, quieting the room.

“Uh- so um yesterday, i was actually not done with coming out” Veronica squeezed his hand. “I’m actually a boy? I’m trans. Um i’m a trans boy? Yeah. i’m a boy.” the room is quiet for a beat. His mama stands up and pulls him onto a hug

“hijo, te amo.”

“Whats your name?” Marco asked

“I was thinking Lance? Or Leandro but i go by lance.”

“I like Leandro.”

-

_ Queer squad _

Sharpshooter: I DID IT!!!

Sharpshooter: I FEEL FREE

Sharpshooter: I’M GOING BACK IN TIME AND TELLING BABY LANCE TO COME OUT SOONER OH MY GOOOD

Cocaine: i told you it be fine!!

Sharpshooter: IM STARTING GENDER THERAPY SOON

Sharpshooter: AND THEY ORDERED A BINDER AHHHH

Sharpshooter: AND TOMORROW WE’RE GOING TO GET MY NAMED CHANGED ON THE SCHOOL STUFF

Sharpshooter: AND THEN WE’RE GOING TO START PREPARING TO GET MY NAME LEGALLY CHANGED!

Takashit: congrats!

Gremlin: yeah boiii

Romelle: hecc ya BOI it feels good doesn’t it

Sharpshooter: HECC YEAH

Sharpshooter: ANYWAY I’M TIRED GOOD NIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i hate myself  
> ITS ALL UP HILL FROM HERE  
> KLANCE IS GONNA ACTUALLY START  
> THERE WILL BE MORE ANGST THOUGH  
> FOLLOW ME ON INSTA @nonbinaryconnor  
> I LOVE Y'ALL <3


	16. y e e h a w

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gremlin: yeet
> 
> Ratthew: yeeticus
> 
> Ratthew: i’ll show myself out
> 
> Sharpshooter: yeetalicious
> 
> Ratthew: i’m yeetisfied with that word
> 
> Takashit: i am ashamed of all of you
> 
> Dickweed: you mean your
> 
> Dickweed yeetshamed
> 
> Dickweed: or
> 
> Dickweed: you’re yeet shaming us
> 
> Gremlin: we don’t tolerate yeet shaming
> 
> Sharpshooter: *yeets Shiro into the banned section*
> 
> Sharpshooter: what do you have to say for yourself Shiro
> 
> Takashit: will I die?
> 
> sharpshooter: depends
> 
> Takashit: yeehaw

_ Queer squad _

Allarming: i told my dads that lance came out and now he wants to have the mcclains over for dinner

Sharpshooter: THAT SOUNDS AMAZING

Sharpshooter: I’M ASKING MAMA RN

Sharpshooter: SHE SAID SURE HECC YAH

Allarming: i asked if i could invite the whole squad and dad said sure

Cocaine: hecc yeah

Allarming: how does tonight sound?

Sharpshooter: thats perfect!

Ruined: this is gonna be insane

-

Cocaine: i’ve given up on art

Cocaine: its to hard

Sharpshooter: KEITH NO

Cocaine: lance can have my sketchbook

Sharpshooter: hecc yeah BUT KEITH YOU CAN’T GIVE UP ON ART YOU’RE AMAZING

Cocaine: lance….I’m sorry…..Take care of Leandro and Akira

Cocaine: they are my children

Sharpshooter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Gremlin: wtf’

Sharpshooter: Leandro, Akira, they are all i have left of him

Sharpshooter: *helena plays as i lower keiths coffin into the ground*

Takashit: wtf

Takashit: why are the both of you so dramatic

Takashit: keith literally just saw some ones art online

Cocaine: IT WAS SO GOOD

Cocaine: AND MINE IS TERRIBLE

Sharpshooter: IT’S NOT TERRIBLE

Ruined: keith he has the art you gave him framed and on his wall

Cocaine: WHAT

Sharpshooter: VERONICA

Ruined: *shrug*

Ruined:[image]

Cocaine: oh my god you do

-

Broganes + adam

Cocaine: i’m finna die

Dickweed: hes so into you

Cocaine: stop lying to make me feel better]

Takashit: he’s really into you 

Cocaine: LIES

Dickweed: TRUTH

Cocaine: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

-

Kool kids klub

Irony: lmao i love clifford the big red dog

Fucker: what

Irony: what

-

Queer squad

Ratthew: imagine if we get to heaven and god says “oh yeah, all gays do go to hell. But like a different hell. I take all the gays and put them in one big pride parade.”

Takashit: sounds amazing

Sharpshooter: hell sounds great

Cocaine: sounds gay

-

Allarming:YOU GUYS READY TO COME OVER AND HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR PITIFUL LIVES

Cocaine: yeehaw

Sharpshooter: HECC YEAH

Sharpshooter: WE ARE ON OUR WAY

Dickweed: this is going to be gay

Sharpshooter: :)

Ruined: oh my god

Takashit: hide the knives

Cocaine: :((

Allarming: we have to play a game of hide and seek

Ruined: the McClains are the hide and seek champions :))

Allarming: oh your ON

-

Sunshine: i can’t find marco

Ruined: haha good luck

Sunshine: the only McClain i have found is Luis because Mateo kept giggling

Sharpshooter: mateo is a little shit

Ruined: but you love him

Sharpshooter: i do

Takashit: You guys don’t know hide and seek till you spend 3 days looking for keith

Sharpshooter: THREE DAYS?!?!?!

Sunshine: found Shiro

Sunshine: and Adam

Dickweed: :(

Cocaine: lol i should have told you guys thats 99% of the time shiro and adam make out during hide and seek

Sunshine: found Pidge

Sunshine: Hecc yeah they ratted out ratthew

Ratthew: PIDGE

Gremlin:  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Sunshine: lmao

Sunshine: Coran says dinner is ready

Sharpshooter: can’t wait for this disaster 

-

Sunshine: that wasn’t so bad

Ratthew: lmao

Allarming: i love your mom lance

Cocaine: why did your brother stare at me

Sharpshooter: which one

Cocaine: uhh i think it was Luis

Sharpshooter: that bitch

-

_ looney>Sharpshooter _

looney: you like keith don’t you

Sharpshooter: IS IT THAT OBVIOUS? 

looney: YOU HAVE HIS ART FRAMED ON YOUR WALL

Sharpshooter: ITS REALLY GOOD OKAY

looney: oh my god

looney: you’re really into his aren’t you

looney: is he into guys?

Sharpshooter: yeah

Sharpshooter: thank god

Sharpshooter: is that why you were staring at him during dinner?

looney: yeah

Sharpshooter: :(   
-

_ McClain bitches _

looney: lmao 

Sharpshooter: luis don’t you dare

Ruined: :)

Sharpshooter: VERONICA

Arge: tell me

Marco: :)

Polo: why did i marry into this family

Tunes: lmao me too

Looney: okay y’all remember Keith?   
Tunes: yeah you stared at him the whole dinner

Looney: Lance has a crush on him

Marco: :)

Arge: :))

Arge: he’s in my WHAP class

Sharpshooter: none of y’all do  _ anything _

Arge: :((

Polo: can’t promise you anything

Looney: :))

Ruined: lmao I can’t believe The McClain Matchmakers are back in business

Sharpshooter: look you didn’t need us for you and Nadia to get together I’ll be fine

Looney: RONNIE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

Ruined: LANCE

Sharpshooter: :))

Arge: i want to meet Nadia

Marco: we have to give her the McClain Talk

Ruined: oh no

-

_ KICK _ _   
_ _ Ruined added Looney, Tunes, Marco, Polo, and Arge to the chat _

Ruined: these are my siblings and they know about KICK

Looney: Kick?

Takashit: Klance Is Canon King

Dickweed: haha I’m so glad matt didn’t get my siblings involved when getting me and you together

Takashit: lmao Ratthew is a little bitch

Takashit: Keith was on it

Ratthew: :)

Arge: lmao i like this

Gremlin: shiro

Marco: who did lance befriend

Dickweed: excuse you Takashit and hi are his dads

Takashit: why

Ruined: y’all should introduce yourselves

Gremlin: its pidge they/them

Sunshine: ITS HUNK!!

Takashit: shiro. The guy with 1 arm and scar on his nose

Dickweed: i’m adam the one who wouldn't get off of ^^

Allarming: it’s Allura! The white haired bitch

Ramen: Romelle.

Shayaway: I’m shay! I am the vry cute girl dating hunk

Boneless: oh hello I’m nadia. I wasn’t there

Marco: Nadia huh

Ruined: MARCO DON’T YOU DARE

Looney: :))

Ruined: lmao kill me

-

_ Queer squad _

Sharpshooter: yeet

Cocaine: yeehaw

Ramen: BANNED

Ramen: BOTH OF YOU

Sharpshooter: DDDDD:

Cocaine: :((

Ramen: JK

Cocaine: :))

Ramen: don’t smile soldiers

Ramen: this is war

Takahit: :{|

Sharpshooter: :DDDDDDDDDDD

Sharpshooter: i’m a rebel

Takashit: :{(

Sharpshooter: I FIGHT FOR THE REBELLIONA

Cocaine: why don’t you be a good person and listen to shirt

Sharpshooter: >:=D

Cocaine: *shiro

Ratthew: Viva le Revalotuon :DDD

Sharpshooter: i am moldyvoldy

Gremlin: what

Sharpshooter: VIVA LE REVALOTUON

Ratthew: VIVA LE REVALOTUON

Gremlin: just a typical Bikini Bottom day

Cocaine: YOU GUYS AREN’T GOING TO VIVA ONCE I FINISH WITH YOU

Dickweed: i’m going to hell

Sharpshooter: I WILLL VIVA ALL I WANT TO IN THE REVALUTION

Takashit: :{((

Gremlin: VIVA LE REVALOTUON

Sharpshooter: yeah but aren’t we all going to hell

Dickweed: DIE LAFAYETTE

Takashit: we can have a party together in hell

Dickweed: YOU TOO ALEXANDER

Sharpshooter: it’s going to be lit in hell

Gremlin: yeet

Ratthew: HELL PARTY

Sharpshooter: imma stay at satans place

Dickweed: HELL PARTY WITH ALL MY FELLOW HOMOSEXUALS

Sunshine: :DDDD

Gremlin: yEET

Ratthew: I bet satan is also a gay because of all the gay people around him

Cocaine: YEEHAW

Sharpshooter: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Dickweed: he was probably the first ever gay guy

Gremlin: god sent all the gays to go hell to matchmake

Takashit: satan was gay for God but God said nah you going to hell

Gremlin: MAN HELL HAS THEIR OWN QUEER EYE GANG

Cocaine: it’s going to be cool with att the LGBT+ people there

Sharpshooter: miles mckenna overthrows satan as king of hell

Cocaine: and brendon urie

Gremlin: shrek will be queen

Ratthew: yes

Ruined: djcgeucd i come back to this shit?

Sharpshooter: what did you expect

Ruined: XD

Sharpshooter: banned

Ratthew: tru

Gremlin: yeet

Ratthew: yeeticus

Ratthew: i’ll show myself out

Sharpshooter: yeetalicious

Ratthew: i’m yeetisfied with that word

Takashit: i am ashamed of all of you

Dickweed: you mean your

Dickweed yeetshamed

Dickweed: or

Dickweed: you’re yeet shaming us

Gremlin: we don’t tolerate yeet shaming

Sharpshooter: *yeets Shiro into the banned section*

Sharpshooter: what do you have to say for yourself Shiro

Takashit: will I die?

sharpshooter: depends

Takashit: yeehaw

Cocaine: JDFHDJKRT SHIRO

Gremlin: i think you mean

Gremlin: YEETHAW

Cocaine: WE ARE TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM THE FATE

Takashit: YEEHAW

Cocaine: YEETHAW

Takashit: Y E E H A W 

Ratthew: YEETHAW

Gremlin: Y E E T H A W

Dickweed: Y e e T H a W

Takashit: Banned

Gremlin: i will fight the power until the end

Sharpshooter: [blackandwhiteteletubbie.png]

Ruined: i hate it

Ramen: *yeets that picture into hell*

Ratthew: in other news babies are basically avocados

Takashit: why

Ratthew: also if you mash baby’s up they to can be put on chips

Sharpshooter: hecc yeah

Takashit: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR FREE TIME

Dickweed: don’t you mean gay smile

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> half of this is straight from my group chat on insta  
> anyway i'm gonna start updating every other day!  
> hope y'all are doing great!  
> follow my insta @nonbinaryconnor


	17. oh boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunshine: why is thomas sanders so amazing ?
> 
> Ramen: idk he just,,,,,,,, is
> 
> Sunshine: pure boy
> 
> Ramen: the best boy
> 
> Sunshine: you know whos the best dad?
> 
> Takashit: me?
> 
> Sharpshooter: miles Mckenna ?
> 
> Ramen: Thomas Sanders ?
> 
> Sunshine: Thomas Sanders
> 
> Sunshine: but also Shiro
> 
> Sunshine: and miles
> 
> Ramen: Miles Shiro and Thomas are the best dads
> 
> Takashit: thanks kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i'm VERY late with uploads i had no access to my AO3 for a while :)))))

Sharpshooter: GUESS WHAT FUCKERS

Ruined: oh my god

Sharpshooter: I’M SEEING CAVETOWN!!!!

Allarming: oh my gooooooood

Ramen: LUCKY

Cocaine: who is cavetown?

Allarming: triggered

Sharpshooter: only the BEST TRANS MUSICIAN EVER

Sharpshooter: I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I THOUGHT GOING BY ROBIN

Sharpshooter: his name is robin

Ruined: he blasts cavetown 24/7

Sharpshooter: look soft ukulele is the best genre

Gremlin: i love cavetown

Sunshine: lmao me too

Sharpshooter: the tickets are only $15

Sharpshooter: me and mama are going

Gremlin: brb buying tickets

Sharpshooter: do you have the spotify presale code?

Sunshine: no

Sharpshooter: lmao sucks to be you

Cocaine: isn’t Pidge just going to hack it?

Gremlin: i will only not because cavetown deserves my money

-

Cocaine: cavetown is okay

Sharpshooter: dysphoric is my favorite song

Sharpshooter: its 20/10

Cocaine: i like lemon boy

Ramen: basic bitch

-

Takashit: why is lance crying and clutching a binder

Sharpshooter: KEITH GAVE ME A BUNCH OF LOOSE DOODLES

Takashit: oh my god

Ruined: are you gonna put them on your wall too?

Sharpshooter: YEAH

Cocaine: they aren’t even good??

Sharpshooter: FUCK YOU THEY’RE AMAZING

Cocaine: okay-okay

-

_ McClain Bitches _

Ruined: lmao keith gave lance some of his art and he’s crying

Polo: it’s true love

Arge: i love making keith feel threatened

Sharpshooter: AGATHE

Arge: :)

Marco: you go Ag

Tunes: lmao don’t forget us at the wedding

Ruined: US vs Keiths family

Sharpshooter: lmao Shiro would kill all of you

Arge: Shiro and keith are related?

Ruined: yeah they’re brothers

Arge: :)

Sharpshooter: Krolia would also kill all of you

Ruined: Krolia?

Sharpshooter: keiths mom

Looney: can’t wait for the wedding

-

_ Gaynes _

Kroli: where are you guys?

Achoo: i’m in my room

Texas: i’m on the couch

Takashit: I’m at adams

Kroli: keith

Cocaine: i’m on the roof

Takashit: why

Cocaine: YOU KNOW WHY SHIRO

Takashit: :))

Achoo: tea??

Takashit: lance kept talking about how pretty the sunset it so keiths painting a sunset for him

Kroli: Awwww

Achoo: : )

Kroli: well either way dinner's almost ready so y’all need to come down

Texas: yes shiro you have to come home

Takashit: on my way

-

_ Queer squad _

Dickweed: i can’t believe Takashit left me :(

Cocaine: lmao sucks to be u

Dickweed: takashi told me why you’re on the roof

Cocaine: fuck u

Sharpshooter: YOU'RE ON THE ROOF??

Cocaine: not anymore

Sharpshooter: WHY WERE YOU ON THE ROOF??

Cocaine: art

Sharpshooter: WHY DO YOU NEED TO BE ON THE ROOF FOR ART

cocaine: inspiration

Ramen: Valid

Sharpshooter: invalid

Sharpshooter: fite me Romelle

Ramen:  (ง’̀-‘́)ง (ง’̀-‘́)ง 

Sharpshooter: Denny's parking lot

Sharpshooter: 3am

Sharpshooter: bring ur fists

Takashit: no

Takashit: go to IHOB

Ramen: YES

Ratthew: BANNED

Takashit: IHOB OR ROMELLE

Cocaine: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Gremlin: international house of

Gremlin: BURGERS

Sharpshooter: NO

Gremlin: yes

Cocaine: I’ll be there

Takashit: what have i done

Dickweed: gods work

-

_ Kool kids klub _

Fucker: why are Ina and pidge talking

Boneless: oh FUCK

Irony: this is going to be great

Irony: i can’t wait

-

_ Dream meme team _

_ Gremlin added Irony to the chat _

Ratthew: welcome

Sharpshooter: in order to be accepted into the group you must tell us your favorite vine

Irony:  ms. Keisha, ms.keisha! oh my fuckin god she fucking dead

Ramen: accepted

Dickweed: Good choice

Gremlin: anyway we’ve decided to start a prank war 

Irony:everyone VS Mrs. G and Mrs. Mimes

Sharpshooter: i like

Sharpshooter: lets do it

-

_ Help us _

Irony: we are starting a prank war

Takashit: oh no

Gremlin: oh  _ yes _

Allarming: who are we pranking

Ratthew: mrs. G and Mrs. Mimes

Ruined: i’m in

Fucker: i like Mrs. Mimes :(

_ Ramen removed Fucker from the chat _

Boneless: lmao i should have done that a long time ago

Irony: we start by leaving tiny animals around their rooms

Dickweed:  thank god i saved all those tiny animals from my zoo days

Hahah RYAN:  _ zoo days? _

-

_ Fucker>Boneless _

Fucker: :((

Boneless: look Mrs. Mimes is a bitch and i will protect lance so no

Fucker: she’s not that bad ??

Boneless: she literally yelled at lance while he was having a panic attack and then  _ after _ he had a panic attack, which sent him into a panic attack so like no she’s that bad

Fucker: oh

-

_ Fucker>Hahah RYAN _

Fucker: add me back

Hahah RYAN: no

Fucker: :(

-

_ Help us _

Gremlin: y’all ready?

Gremlin: just start by leaving 1 or 2 each day

Sharpshooter: :)))

Irony: :))

Takashit: why 

Dickweed: stop being a dad and join in on the fun

Ratthew: we know you hate Mrs. Mimes

Takashit: fine

-

Irony: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Sharpshooter: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Gremlin: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Ratthew: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Ramen: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Dickweed: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Allarming: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Takashit: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Ruined: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Hahah RYAN: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time 

Boneless: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Cocaine: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Sunshine: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

Shayaway: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s time

-

_ Queer squad _

Ratthew: fellas is it gay to be Christian?

Ratthew: your devoting ur entire life to another man 

Sharpshooter: depends

Sharpshooter: do u wanna bang jesus or is it platonic love

Shayaway: imagine wanting to bang jesus

Takashit: why are you guys having this conversation ?

Shayaway: because why not 

-

Takashit: are glow sticks lithal 

Dickweed: Takashi wtf

Cocaine: shiro im hiding all the glow sticks in the house

Takashit: you didn’t even notice my pun :((

Dickweed: fuck off 

-

Sunshine: why is thomas sanders so amazing ?

Ramen: idk he just,,,,,,,, is

Sunshine: pure boy

Ramen: the best boy

Sunshine: you know whos the best dad?

Takashit: me?

Sharpshooter: miles Mckenna ?

Ramen: Thomas Sanders ?

Sunshine: Thomas Sanders

Sunshine: but also Shiro

Sunshine: and miles 

Ramen: Miles Shiro and Thomas are the best dads

Takashit: thanks kids

-

_ Gaynes _

Cocaine: lmao dad Shiro is replacing u as my father

Texas: son ?

Takashit: oh no

Takashit: keith you snitch

Texas: who else have you adopted?

Takashit: Lance Hunk Romelle Allura Pidge Matt Shay Veronica Nadia I’m guessing Ryan and Ina

Texas: you are a true father

-

_ Fucker>Irony _

Fucker: add me back fucker

Irony: read 1:17

Fucker: bitch

-

_ Help us _

Irony: hmmm should i add James back in?

Sharpshooter: hm

Cocaine: Hm

Ramen: sure

_ Irony added Fucker to the chat _

Fucker: bitch

Ramen: i changed my mind

Fucker: :((

Allarming: lmao

Boneless: lmao who else wants to die?   
Sharpshooter: me bitch

Takashit: me

Cocaine: me

Allarming: me

Ruined: me

Sunshine: :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SEEING CAVETOWN AND I'M SO READY ????  
> y'all i'm SHOOK i'm so ready  
> i'm also seeing twenty one pilots in november and i'm even more SHOOK  
> follow me on insta for my daily breakdowns and memes   
> @nonbinaryconnor


	18. SOME GOOD LANGST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allarming: is that why you yelled “FUCK OFF ELLEN” during art
> 
> Cocaine: i call things Ellen when i get angry :(
> 
> Cocaine: and my ink wouldn’t do what i want
> 
> Cocaine: MY FUCKING MICRON PEN KEEPS LEAKING
> 
> Cocaine: WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY!

_Queer squad_

Takashit: what does everybody want from starbucks?  
Gremlin: Venti black

Cocaine: Tall black

Dickweed: Tall Iced Latte Macchiato

Sunshine: Venti Peach Citrus White Tea Infusion

ShayAway: Tall shaken green tea

Sharpshooter: Tall Iced Latte Macchiato

Ruined: same as hunk but a Tall

Ramen: Same as Lance

Allarming: ^^

Ratthew: Same as veronica

Takashit: that was a large order

Ratthew: thats what you get for having so many kids

Ramen: yeah you slut

Dickweed: don’t talk to your father like that

Takashit: :{(

-

Cocaine: inktober is hard

Sharpshooter: inktober?

Cocaine: you ink something everyday based on a prompt

Cocaine: yesterday was poison

Cocaine: today is Tranquil

Allarming: is that why you yelled “FUCK OFF ELLEN” during art

Cocaine: i call things Ellen when i get angry :(

Cocaine: and my ink wouldn’t do what i want

Cocaine: MY FUCKING MICRON PEN KEEPS LEAKING

Cocaine: WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY!

Cocaine: i forgot to get a refill for my favorite copic marker I am anger

Cocaine: art is hard and lots of money :(

-

_Trans dysphorian blues_

Sharpshooter: hecc i’m so gay for him

Sharpshooter: he has ink smeared on his face and hands and it’s hot

Gremlin: OwO ur finally telling us??  
Sunshine: OwO

Sharpshooter: FUCK

Sharpshooter: wait you knew?

Sunshine: ur way to obvious about it

Gremlin:^^

-

Sharpshooter: I forget some people don’t know my name is lance

Sunshine: owo?

Sharpshooter: someone kept airdropping me memes and obvi i was accepting them and they kept turning around and saying Lance??

Gremlin: lmao send the memes

Sharpshooter: lmao

-

Ratthew: hewwo

Ramen: H-hewwo??

Dickweed: banned

Sharpshooter: H-H-Hewwo UwU

Dickweed: NO

-

_Trans Dysphorian Blues_

Sharpshooter: lmao shoot me

Sunshine: what happened ??

Sharpshooter: lmao Lotor came over to me and was like “hey i heard ur a tranny now Mora”

Sharpshooter: i mean ryan and nadia were about to punch him when i left

Sharpshooter: but now i think i’m having a panic attack

Sunshine: bae where are you ?

Sharpshooter: library

Sunshine: I’m coming

-

_Sunshine >Cocaine _

Sunshine: isn’t ur sister friends with Lotor?

Cocaine: yeah

Cocaine: why?

Sunshine: tell her to tell him i’m gonna cut off his dick if he talks to lance that way

Cocaine: UHHH CAN I HELP?

Sunshine: hecc yeah

-

_Cocaine >Achoo _

Cocaine: tell Lotor that if he says _anything_ to lance ever again he will get his dick cut off and then shoved down his throat

Achoo: wtf

Achoo: who are you talking about

Cocaine: idk what he said to lance but he’s not talking in the groupchat so honestly lotor and suck my dick

Achoo: ???

Cocaine: he said something to lance

Achoo: ?? he talked to Mora ??

Cocaine: oh my god

Cocaine: Lance is trans

Achoo: oh

Achoo: OH  
Achoo: thats why Nadia punched Lotor in the face

Cocaine: he deserved it

-

_Lebians+Lotor_

Achoo: lotor what did you say to lance ?

Later hoes: ???

Later hoes: OH you mean Mora

Later hoes: nothing ?? why

Achoo: Idk Keith was freaking out

Achoo: also he goes by lance now

Later hoes: they just hate me

Zuko: reasonable

Easy: lmao get him babe

Zuko: <3

Later Hoes: gross

-

_LANCE PROTECTION_

_Boneless added Hahah RYAN to the chat_

Boneless: i’m gonna shoot him

Sunshine: i’m with you

Shayaway: who are we shooting and why ?

Boneless: Lotor

Allarming: Valid

Allarming: but what did he do?

Boneless: dead named him and called him some slurs

Gremlin: I’m gonna fucking murder him

Ruined: uhhh babe?  
Boneless: yeah?

Ruined: beat his ass

Boneless: already did

Hahah RYAN: she did

Hahah RYAN: it was 10/10

Cocaine: lets all gang up on him

Cocaine: beat his ass again

Cocaine: show him whos boss

Takashit: ,,,,,,

Cocaine: give me my knives pussy

Takashit: okay we can’t _actually_ kill him

Takashit: we don’t have enough money to bail you out

Cocaine: I don’t care

Cocaine: I’ll fucking kill him

Gremlin: i’m with keith

Dickweed: i will protect my son so ??  
Dickweed: keith is valid

Sunshine: lmao lance said not to kill Lotor

Shayaway: You’re with lance?

Sunshine: yeah

Sunshine: he was panicking

Cocaine: send him love

-

_KICK_

Gremlin: *side eyes emoji*

Sunshine:*side eyes emoji*

-

_Queer squad_

Sharpshooter: that was _wild_

Cocaine: you good man?

Sharpshooter: lmao sure dude

Sharpshooter: I can’t wait to go home

Sunshine: You’ll be okay right?

Sharpshooter: yeah

Dickweed: its still up in the air to beat lotor

Sharpshooter: nah it’ll be okay

Allarming: okay.

-

_Queer squad_

Ruined: code Blue

Sunshine: SHIT

Sunshine: IS THE FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED?

Ruined: yeah

Gremlin: we’re coming

Sunshine: i’ll be there in like 5 minutes

Sunshine: I’m here

Gremlin: i’m right behind him

Takashit: how bad is it?

Sunshine: well No Phun Intended is playing

Sunshine: and i’m pretty sure i heard Drown play at least 3 times in a row

Ramen: oh no

Cocaine: that’s _bad_

Sunshine: also the door is locked and i’m pretty sure there's shit in front of the door so i can’t open in

Gremlin: thinking of going through the vents

Shayaway: do the McClains know what’s going on?

Ruined: they have some idea because pidge and hunk showed up with bags of junk food and blankets and books and pidge brought like 4 computers

Gremlin: i panicked

-

Ruined: okay Pidge managed to get through the window but they’re the only one small enough to get through it

Sunshine: oh good the door opened

Ruined: just Hunk and Pidge are going in for right now

Ruined: what should i tell my parents cause they’re freaking out

Takashit: Uh ??

Takashit: idk it’s up to him what he wants to tell your parents

-

_LANCE PROTECTION_

Sunshine: he doesn’t want to tell y’all but it’s _badd_

Sunshine: like if he doesn’t tell him parents is will?

Gremlin: it was a _bad_ relapse

Ruined: oh god

Cocaine: on a scale of 1-10 how bad

Sunshine: 9 ¾

Sunshine: he’s not dead so it’s not a 10 but its almost there

Takashit: yeah you guys have to tell his parents

Gremlin: I keep telling him that and he keeps saying he’ll just burden them

Allarming: bullshit

Shayaway: ^^

Ramen: ^^

Ratthew:^^

Dickweed:^^

-

Ruined: okay Hunk and Pidge managed to convince him to let mama and papi in

Ramen: thank god

Ruined: i’m going to wait to tell Marco, Maria, Luis, Sara and Agathe

Ratthew: good idea

-

Ruined: okay I’m pretty sure Mama and papi are crying

Ruined: idk how i feel about that

Ruined: but Marco is concerned™ and i think they’re catching on?

Ruined: Ag definitely knows what’s going on now

-

Ruined: okay we;re having a family talk

Ratthew: with hunk and pidge

Ruined: yeah they’re honorary McClains

Allarming: goals

Ruined: im pretty sure you all are

Ratthew: UwU

-

_Queer squad_

Gremlin: that was lots of tears

Sunshine: it was good tears

Sharpshooter: mostly good tears

Cocaine: what happened ?

Sharpshooter: i told everyone

Sharpshooter: so now i’m going to therapy

Takashit: it’ll be good for you

Sharpshooter: yeah

Sharpshooter: but i’m tired

Sharpshooter: so night

Cocaine: Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MMMMH  
> we are starting the 2nd half where KICK starts :))  
> i've got some good shit(tm) planned :))  
> also inktober is hard af  
> i did tomorros prompt today and i cried  
> SHANES SERIES IS 11/10 OMG K I L L M E  
> TEA ISS BEING SPILLED  
> i've never been to starbucks but i have had some of the peach citrus tea infusion and its 11/10


	19. Boring filler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sucks to be you I guess

_ Queer squad _

Sharpshooter: oh shit i did that

Sharpshooter: it wasn’t a dream

Dickweed: nope

Sharpshooter: oh yeet

-

Cocaine: sleep is for the week

Sharpshooter: retweet

Takashit: you guys need to sleep

Cocaine: okay but i had an idea for today’s inktober prompt and if i didn’t start it i would forget it

Cocaine: and then i didn’t look like how i wanted it to look so i had to start over

Sharpshooter: lmao i just have depression

Cocaine: i mean mood

Takashit:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dickweed: let them have their fun babe

-

Cocaine: hi alien boy is a good song bye

Shayaway: what

Sunshine: babe he said bye don’t bother him

Shayaway: oh :((

-

Sharpshooter: oh boy i regret everything

Cocaine: ??

Sharpshooter: It’s HOT

Cocaine: ??

Sharpshooter: scars

Cocaine: OH   
-

Cocaine: i kinda wish i did elentober and goretober

Takashit: oh god

Cocaine: i like drawing angsty things :(

Cocaine: and torturing my OC’s

Cocaine: also elentori is a great artist

Takashit: keith you have like 200 more followers than her on your art account

Cocaine: her art is better than mine :(

Sharpshooter: UMM ART ACCOUNT??

Sharpshooter: username pls

Takashit: Tumblr, instagram, twitter-NoNameKid

Shayaway: is that a heathers reference ?

Cocaine: look i was really into musicals when i started them and now i’m too popular to change it

Cocaine: Lance did you just commission me ?

Cocaine: and buy like 5 pins, 4 prints and 7 key chains?

Cocaine: LANCE

Sharpshooter: what

Cocaine: i’ll just give stuff to you

Sharpshooter: REALLY?

Cocaine: yeah

Sharpshooter: LIT

-

_ Broganes + adam _

Takashit: oh my god

Dickweed: ??

Cocaine: shiro

Takashit: one time i asked him to draw something for me and he told me “if you want me to draw something for you. You have to commission me.”

Dickweed: commission ?

Takashit: paying someone to draw something for you

Dickweed: and he’s just giving lance stuff ??

Dickweed: oh wow your really into him

Cocaine: fuck off adam

Cocaine: i had to deal with your pinning after shiro who so obviously liked you back

Dickweed: yeah and i have to deal with you pinning after lance who so obviously likes you back

Cocaine: dick

-

_ KICK _

Dickweed:[screenshot198.png]

Arg: ;)

Polo: oh my god

Looney: aren’t you guys in school

Arg: shut up Luis

Looney: :0

Toons: Don’t talk to your brother like that >:0

Arg: oh shit

Takashit: i can’t wait to be related to the mcclains 

-

_ Sharpshooter added Gremlin, Sunshine and Ruined to the chat _

_ Sharpshooter named the chat Get Keith to like Lance _

Sharpshooter: welcome

Ruined: he already likes you we don’t have to do anything

Sharpshooter: stop lying to be

Sunshine: bro

Sunshine: the love of my life

Sunshine: the apple of my eye

Sunshine: he likes you back

Gremlin: he literally is giving you free shit

Sharpshooter: i give y’all free shit all the time

Gremlin: yeah, but this is art and keith

Ruined: trust me artist don’t just draw for people for free

Ruined: especially not one as good as keith

Sharpshooter: whatever

Sharpshooter: i have to go to mrs.mimes class

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: fuck Mr. Zarkon

Allarming: what he’d do?

Cocaine: he won’t let me draw in class

Cocaine: and you guys know i don’t learn by taking notes so i was drawing and listening and he yelled at me

Allarming: :(

Cocaine: fuck him i’m going to keep drawing

Cocaine: i’ll get Ulaz to beat him

Takashit: oh no

Dickweed: Ulaz ?

Ratthewt: our Uncle

Cocaine: the best uncle

Takashit: he’s just saying that because he gives him knives and is gay

Cocaine: okay tru but he’s still the best

Cocaine: Ulaz and Thace will beat him up

Cocaine: i love my strong gay uncles UwU

-

_ Koganes _

Kroli: come down for dinner

Takashit: be there in a sec

Achoo:^^

Texas: keith 

Texas: keeeeiiiith

Cocaine: I’m on the roof painting i’ll finish and then come down

Takashit: OwO

Achoo: is it for lance

Takashit: ={)

Achoo: =)

Kroli: pls come down before the food gets cold

Cocaine: maybe

-

_ Get Keith to like Lance _

Sharpshooter: what if i wrote him a song

Ruined: Lance go to bed

Sharpshooter: what if i sang to him

Gremlin: oh shit 

Sunshine: bro do it

Sunshine: you have the most amazing voice

Sharpshooter: bro

Sharpshooter: i love you

Sunshine: bro

Sunshine: i love you too

Gremlin: gross

Sunshine: =(

Gremlin: y’all will get together tbh 

Sharpshooter: sure

Sunshine: sigh

-

_ Trans buddies _

Sharpshooter: y’all ever just cry cause ur body is so wrong?

Ramen: yes boo but u good 

Sharpshooter: lmao no 

Gremlin: what you need 

Sharpshooter: idk

Ramen: you want ice cream 

Sharpshooter: nah

Sharpshooter: I kinda want hugs but at the same time I don’t want anything to do with my body 

Sharpshooter: dysphoria sucks :((

Ramen: you could watch Thomas or Miles

Sharpshooter: oh yeah

Sharpshooter: I’ll see if that makes me feel better

-

_ Queer squad _

Sharpshooter: y’all ever have an irresistible urge to tear off your skin

Shayaway: boo

Ruined: bro

Sunshine: boo

Ramen: :((((

Cocaine: yes

Takashit: KEITH

Cocaine: look it’s true

Cocaine: also lance pls don’t

Sharpshooter: I won’t

Sharpshooter: probably 

Sunshine: babe

Sharpshooter: yeah babe?

Sunshine: i love you

Sharpshooter: i love you too

-

Sharpshooter: oh hecc

Sharpshooter: Dear Evan Hansen is 11/10

Shayaway: ah hecc yeah

Sharpshooter: and hella relatable

Shayaway: babe no

-

Sharpshooter: an angel has given me news from God himself

Sharpshooter: depression isn’t real

Sharpshooter: its made up by Tumblr in order to get attention

Sharpshooter: WOW

Sharpshooter: I can’t believe

Sharpshooter: all those breakdowns were just

Sharpshooter: calls for attention

Cocaine: lance

Sharpshooter: yes boo?

Cocaine: who do i have to kill?

Sharpshooter: his name is Robert

Cocaine: Robert C?

Sharpshooter: yeah

Cocaine:  brb

Takashit: oh boy

Cocaine: the deed has been done

Sharpshooter: thanks babe

Cocaine: <3

Sharpshooter: <3

-

Sharpshooter:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sharpshooter: OH MY GOD

Sharpshooter: KEITH

Cocaine: brah

Takashit: did you give it to him?

Cocaine: yeah

Sharpshooter: IM C R Y I N G

Ratthew: ??

Sunshine: Keith gave lance a painting of a sunset

Ratthew: gay

Cocaine: I rushed on the clouds it could have been better

Sharpshooter: I don’t care it’s beautiful and I love it

Cocaine: youre too nice

Sharpshooter: ur too good at art

Cocaine: ahhhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all sorry for that angst I got REALLY dysphoric and just wanted to vent  
> My Instagram is @nonbinary_ghost come talk to me I’m pretty chill


	20. ÚwÙ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst? Venting? In my fic?  
> More likely than you think

_****Queer Squad _

Ratthew: Don’t believe Pidge

Ratthew: they lie

Ratthew: they don’t know anything

Gremlin: RATT 

takashit: Matt what did you do 

Ratthew: nothing 

Dickweed: mhm

Gremlin: the ratt put green dye in my shampoo

Ratthew:¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Sharpshooter: THATS WHY MY HAIR IS BLUE

gremlin: YOU PUT IT IN EVERYONES SHAMPOO

Ratthew: :)

Sunshine: why is my hair highlighter yellow

Sunshine: RATT I LOOK LIKE NARUTO WHY

Takashit: oh god

Takashit: I

Takashit: my hair is white

Dickweed: I guess i have a grandpa kink now

Takashit: BABE

Ratthew: :)

Ramen: I’m throwing away my shampoo thanks ratt

Allarming:^^

Ratthew: I only did Shiro Pidge Lance Hunk and Keith

Cocaine: imma fucking kill you

Ratthew: oh shiiit

-

Cocaine: y’all,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Trench

Sharpshooter: BABE YES

Cocaine: NEON GRAVESTONES IS AAAAAAHHH

Sharpshooter: SHIT HIT THE FAN WHEN I HEARD IT

Sharpshooter: TYLER SPILLED THE REAL TEA

Cocaine: THE JOSH DUN IN MORPH

Sharpshooter: HELL YEAH I LOVE THAT BOY

Cocaine: PET CHEETAH

Sharpshooter: A FUCKING BOP

Sharpshooter: AND CHLORINE SLAPS

Cocaine: SIPPIN ON STRAIGHT CHLORINE

sharpshooter: LET THE VIBES SLIDE OVER ME

cocaine: THIS BEAT IS A CHEMICAL BEAT IS A CHEMICAL

sharpshooter: WHEN I LEAVE DONT SAVE MY SEAT

cocaine: ILL BE BACK WHEN ITS ALL COMPLETE 

sharpshooter: THE MOMENT IS MEDICAL

cocaine: MOMENT IS MEDICAL

sharpshooter: SIPPIN ON STRAIGHT CHLORINE

Takashit: oh god

Gremlin: the emos™ have come together

-

Ramen: I love my girlfriend 

Allarming: and I love  _ my _ girlfriend

Ramen: O/////////O

Allarming: ÚwÙ 

Ramen: come play Mario Kart after school ?

Allarming: of course babe

Ramen: (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.

Allarming: babe I would kill for you

Ramen: aw babe I’m blushing

Gremlin: gross

Ratthew: don’t ruin it Pidge

Ramen: :((((

Allarming: I’m going to take my girlfriend and we’re going to be gay together

Ratthew: have fun!

Gremlin: stay safe!

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Fucker: wait isn’t it keiths birthday with month

Boneless: yeah

Fucker: :)

Irony: don’t do anything stupid

Fucker: i was just gonna ask him out

Boneless: DON’T 

Irony: or do :)

Hahah RYAN: oh boy

Hahah RYAN: i’ve seen KICK in action you probably shouldn’t

Fucker: he’ll kiCK ME IF I ASK HIM OUT

Boneless: sure

Fucker: oh boy i’m having second thoughts

Irony: good

-

Rattew: GUYS

Ratthew: SHIRO YOU OWE ME TWENTY

Takashit: OH??

Takashit: YOU DID?

Ratthew: I KNOW RIGHT

Takashit: WHAT’S THEIR NAME

Gremlin: what is happening??

Takashit: MATT GOT A SO

Ratthew: THEIR NAME IS ALEX 

Ratthew: THEY’RE GENDERFLUID AND I LOVE THEM

Sharpshooter: CONGRATS RATT

Sunshine: CONGRATS MATT!

Ratthew: ︵‿︵(´ ͡༎ຶ ͜ʖ ͡༎ຶ `)︵‿︵

Shayaway: how’d you meet

Ratthew: online

Shayaway: OwO

Ratthew: not on a dating website

Ratthew: they sent me some quality memes and we became friends

Ramen: true romance

Shayaway: only the best romance

Allarming: UwU you better skype them so we can have the talk™ 

Ratthew: oh boy

Takashit: you gave it to both me and adam when we started dating we are obliged to give it to alex

Cocaine: DO I GET TO THREATEN THEM WITH MY KNIVES LIKE I DID WITH ADAM  _ AND  _ MATT

Gremlin: YES   
Ratthew: oh god please no

Ratthew: they don’t deserve that

Dickweed: I was actually afraid you’d kill me in my sleep

Cocaine: i will

Dickweed: oh no

-

Cocaine: b̵̡̧̝̙̣͓͙͔͕͔̄̓͠r̷̡̧̢̲͙̫̜̥͕͓͉̟̆̈́̄͌̈́͌͐͑͘o̷̫̐̍̋̅̋̔̀̐

 

Takashit:ẁ̷͕̺̙̥͉̞̆h̶̘̥̠͎̜̗̮̜̤͚̪̊̃̔͆̾̕͘͠ͅa̶̡̨͈̞̘̮̭̓͛̔̕͠ţ̷͕̫̺̦͉͔̟̟̲͖͚̓̑̐̓̒ͅ ̸̢̱̲̘͖̯̞͐͐̑̾̉̋̑̕͘b̶̢̢͓̤̝̪͖̖̞̰̺̬̣̎͝r̴̢̛͍̳̙̲̫̳̙̊͗̇̔͝ǫ̴͖̲̟͂̈́̐̇̌̈́̅̈́̔̉̚͜

 

Cocaine: y̷̢̢̖̟͉͎͍̟͉̤̐͘o̸͙̍̎̏͘ư̸̧̹͔͉̦̣̪̻̍̎̈́̑̓̽̾̄́͝ͅr̸͚̹͕̰͉͙̝̤͍̜̜̓̽̈́͛ȩ̸̛͓͎̯̈̏̆̕ ̷͙͙͙͍̭̗̣̩̘͔̑̂́̃̔̋̓̉͋͝t̶̢̻͍͋̈́̒̓ḩ̵̛̘̗͎̘̂̀̐ḛ̵̳̅͑̊ ̶̣͕̜͍́̑̌b̵͎̬̼̤͖̜͍̩̍͐̈́̏͌́͐̓̚͘e̵̼̭͚̱̙̣̪̲̱̎͊͘͜s̸͕̻̈̾͗̔́͊͂̇́t̵̝̝̭̤̮̊͊͑́̓ ̸̨̳͖͚͈͎͙͓͙̘̾͒͑̑͂͊̀̃̔̔̈́b̵̲̰̖̣̝͇̜̪̯̽̍̈́̅̚r̴̨̐̆̎̽͋̈́̔͠͝͠o̸̭̲̻̲̰̼̝͓͚̖̽͂̅̆̍̾̽͜͠

  
  


Takashit: b̴̨̩̳̳̼̬̀̏̈ȓ̴͚͓͐̿̐͐͒͛͗͘͠ơ̶͓̠̇̂͛̋͒͗̒̂̚

Allarming: wow i wish i had a sibling

Ruined: No you dont

Sharpshooter: no you don’t

Shayaway: no you don’t

Takashit: no you don’t

Cocaine: no you don’t

Ratthew: no you don’t

Gremlin: no you don’t

Ramen: no you don’t

Allarming: jeez okay

Ruined: i love my sister and brothers but

Sharpshooter: they’re too much sometimes

Gremlin: like matt putting bugs in my shampoo

Shayaway: or Rax stealing from my chip stach

Sunshine: or Lily eating my food before it was done

Ramen: or Bandor stealing my makeup

Ratthew: or Pidge stealing the dogs love from me

Allarming: oh no 

Allarming: yeah i’m good being an only sibling again

-

Shayaway: Huuuuunk

Sunshine: Shaaaaaaaay

Shayaway: ᶦ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ

Sunshine: ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ˢᵒ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ

Shayaway: ʙᴀʙᴇ

Sunshine: ⁽づ ♥ ᴥ ♥ ⁾づ

Ratthew: ⁽づ ♥ ᴥ ♥ ⁾づ

Shayaway: not you ratt

Ratthew: :(

Ratthew: Alex would  _ never _ treat me like this

Shayaway: go run off and love your SO and leave us to cuddle

Ratthew: fine >:(

-

_ Sharpshooter>Cocaine _

Sharpshooter: hey

Sharpshooter: can I talk to you?

Cocaine: yeah

Cocaine: what’s up

Sharpshooter: I’m feeling really bad

Cocaine: what happened?

Sharpshooter: I just

Sharpshooter: feel like no one will ever love me

Sharpshooter: no one  _ should  _ love me

Sharpshooter: I’m gross and ugly and worthless

Cocaine: wrong wrong and wrong

Cocaine: you’re not gross, you may do gross things like eat pineapple on pizza but you’re not gross

Cocaine: and you’re not ugly you are the most handsome man i’ve ever man i will fight everyone who thinks otherwise

Cocaine:  **YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS I WILL FIGHT YOU**

Cocaine:  **YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT**

Cocaine: you are loved

Cocaine: both romantically and platonically

Cocaine: and in the wise words of Veronica Sawyer and Martha Dunnstock “If nobody loves me now, someday somebody will”

Sharpshooter: thank you

Cocaine: are you feeling better

Sharpshooter: a little

Cocaine: i love you and don’t ever forget that

Cocaine: i don’t know what this hell of a friend group would do without you

Cocaine: we’d probably kill each other

Sharpshooter: thank you

Sharpshooter: i love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!!!!!!  
> I’m very gay and I love my girlfriend!!!!  
> Follow me on Instagram @nonbinary_ghost


	21. fucking kill me- Authors Note

so i think someone stole my phone? i'm not 100% sure but its pretty likeyly.

i was in my animations class, i put it in my desk and then went and sat at a computer for literally 5 minutes

and when i got back to my desk it was gone

no one in the class had seen it

i hadn't left the room in moved like 10 feet

when i used the find my iphone app my phone was offline which either ment itr was dead( which is unlikey because it was at 70% last time i had seen it and it ws only an hour later) or someone had shut it down

so yeah

updates will be even slower than normal

sorry

idk when i'll get a phone

might be december

might be monday

who knows

hope y'all are having a better week than me :)

-connor


	22. i'm back. i'm gay and i'm back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst

Dream meme team  
Ratthew: my main goal is to blow up  
Sharpshooter: and then act like i don’t know nobody  
Ramen: har har har  
-  
Queer squad  
Ratthew: Alex says y’all are little shits and should appreciate me more  
Gremlin: but i love being a little shit  
Sharpshooter: me too :(  
Cocaine: UHHHH  
Cocaine: someone STAB me  
Cocaine: use my favorite knife  
Shayaway: bro  
Shayaway: what happened  
Cocaine: MY FUCKING CAT KNOCKED OVER MY INK LAST NIGHT WHILE I WAS SLEEPING  
Cocaine: I LOVE HIM BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO BEAT HIS ASS  
Takashit: is that why you were screaming this morning?  
Cocaine: yes  
-  
Takashit: BABE  
Dickweed: what??!!  
Takashit: Mr. Sendek is being homophobic again :(  
Dickweed: I’m coming :)  
Ratthew: Me too  
Ruined: what’s happening  
Cocaine: they’re going to make out  
Sharpshooter: is matt going going record it this time?  
Ratthew: i plan to  
Shayaway: oh lit :)  
Ruined: bro  
Ratthew: oh my GOD  
Ratthew: you should have seen Mr. Sendeks face  
Ratthew: [video.]  
Shayaway: i STAN  
Gremlin: gross  
Sharpshooter: that one student in the leather jacket  
Takashit: oh yes Michael is cool  
Takashit: we’re the gays of the class  
Dickweed: Cheating on me ?? :(  
Takashit: Adam we just made out in front of the entire class  
Dickweed: and i’d do it in front of the entire school  
Takashit: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3  
Cocaine: ew don’t  
Gremlin: retweet  
Takashit: :(  
Dickweed: :((  
-  
Cocaine: so,,,, i’m doing inktober,,,,,,,and i just remembered Over The Garden Wall exists and ??? Shook?? I forgot how goood it was  
Sharpshooter: I haven’t watched Over The Garden Wall  
Cocaine: SHOOK  
Cocaine: your coming over today and we’re binge watching it  
Cocaine: you’ve watched Gravity Falls and Steven Universe right?  
Sharpshooter: I’ve watched some of Steven Universe but not Gravity Falls  
Cocaine: SHOOK  
Sharpshooter: oh no  
Cocaine: oh yes we’re watching all of them tonight  
Sunshine: wait  
Sunshine: Lance has never watched Gravity falls?  
Sharpshooter: No ?  
Allarming: bro  
Ratthew: that’s a classic  
Takashit: what are we going as for Halloween this year  
Ratthew: let’s all go as shitty ghosts  
Dickweed: yes  
Sharpshooter: can i skateboard and wear sunglasses and a baseball cap  
Cocaine: yes  
Gremlin: you can skateboard?  
Sharpshooter: yes  
Ratthew: we’re going as shitty ghosts its final  
Ratthew: but they have to be good shitty ghosts  
Ratthew: put some effort into it  
Ramen: I am confusion  
Ramen: shitty ghosts?  
Takashit: we cut holes in sheets   
Ramen: oh lit  
Allarming: Romelle’s going to be the cutest ghost  
Ramen: ( ♥ ͜ʖ ♥)  
Allarming: (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.  
Shayaway: UMMM Hunks going to be the cutest ghost  
Sunshine: bae,,,,,,,, don’t,,,,,,,  
Shayaway: just speaking the truth  
Allarming: UMMMMM  
Allarming: ROMELLE’S GOING TO BE THE CUTEST GHOST  
Shayaway: NO IT’S GOING TO BE HUNK  
Sunshine: oh boy

-  
Cocaine>Takashit  
Cocaine: AHHH  
Takashit: ????  
Cocaine: he can skateboard  
Cocaine: I’M SO GAY FOR GUYS WHO CAN SKATEBOARD  
Takashit: just ask him tf out  
Cocaine: he probably doesn’t like me :((  
Takashit: that boy is head-over-heels for you  
Cocaine: he’s not  
Takashit: *deep sigh*  
-  
Queer squad  
Sharpshooter: uhhh  
Sharpshooter: kill meeee  
shayaway: what happened?  
Sharpshooter: i was in math right  
Sharpshooter: and this girls asks my name  
Sharpshooter: and before i could answer this other girl goes “Mora.”  
Sharpshooter: KiLl Me  
Shayaway: ah boo  
Allarming: who do i need to kill   
Shayaway: oh boy  
Sunshine: WHO DO I NEED TO KILL  
Shayaway: OH BOY  
Sharpshooter: oh boy  
Sharpshooter: Mary Jones  
Allarming: on my way to BEAT her ass  
Ramen: have fun babe  
Shayaway: OH BOY   
Sunshine: I’M COMING  
Shayaway: OH BOY  
Sunshine: we fucking killed her  
Shayaway: OH BOY  
Sunshine: don’t worry babe  
Sunshine: my moms will bail us out  
Allarming: also my dads  
Sharpshooter: thank you <3  
-  
Ratthew: tittes  
Takashit: matt  
Ratthew: TITTIES  
Takashit: MATT  
Dickweed: TITTIES  
Takashit: *sigh* adam  
Sharpshooter:pussy  
Takashit: sigh  
-  
Allarming: Romelle i love you but i’d cheat on you with Heather Chandler  
Ramen: oh good  
Ramen: me too  
Allarming: oh good  
Ramen: you have a good taste in woman  
Allarming: hecc yeah i do  
Ramen: oh wait  
Ramen: thats not what i meant  
Allarming: i know  
Ratthew: are you done being gay  
Ramen: never  
Ratthew: me and Alex have matching costumes now  
Gremlin: they’re TERRIBLE  
Ratthew: excuse you  
Ratthew: they’re beautiful  
Gremlin: i can’t believe you’re going to wear that  
Shayaway: whats his costume?  
Ratthew: you’ll see october 31st ;)  
Takashit: oh boy  
Takashit: i remember matt and i’s couple costume  
Sharpshooter: *flashback sound effects*  
Ratthew: that was a great halloween  
Takashit: shivers  
Gremlin: this halloween will be one to remember  
Cocaine: i have an idea for mine and its going to be LIT  
Cocaine: i might take Red out for a ride tonight  
Takashit: please don’t die  
Cocaine: can’t promise anything  
Sharpshooter: idk what your talking about but please don’t die  
Cocaine: finnne  
Gremlin: bros  
Gremlin: i was in class and this girl comes up to me and it like  
Gremlin: “you should totally do the make yourself look like a guy challenge! You’d be so good at it!” and i’m crying  
Allarming: omg  
Sharpshooter: oh my god  
Sharpshooter: i want the teet yeet  
Cocaine: teet yeet?  
Gremlin:teet yeet!  
Ramen: teet yeet.  
-  
Sharpshooter: we are all going to die  
Cocaine: where did that come from?  
Sharpshooter: saw an article about climate change  
Allarming: oh yeah  
Shayaway: shit  
Sharpshooter: not to mention all the plastic waste in our oceans  
Sharpshooter: and with the way politics are  
Sharpshooter: is there even a point?  
Sharpshooter: the end of humanity would heal the earth  
Takashit: are you okay lance?  
Sharpshooter: no  
Sharpshooter: we’re killing our home and my brain is killing me  
Sharpshooter: we don’t have much time until we destroy the earth  
Sharpshooter: and there's still people denying climate change exists  
Sharpshooter: the fucking PRESIDENT thinks climate change is a hoax  
Sharpshooter: so is there a point?  
Sharpshooter: as there are more and more natural disasters   
Sharpshooter: and the political climate becomes more and more toxic  
Sharpshooter: is there a point in trying to save humanity?  
Sharpshooter: is there a point in anything?  
Sharpshooter: does anything matter in the long run?  
Sunshine: babe,,,,,,,,,,,  
Cocaine: oh god  
Ruined: bro  
Ruined: do you want me to call mama and have her take you home  
Sharpshooter: wouldn’t want to worry her  
Cocaine: lance if you aren’t feeling well you should go home  
Sharpshooter: i’m fine  
Dickweed: are you sure?  
Sharpshooter: no  
Takashit: what can we do to make you feel better  
Sharpshooter: idk  
Sharpshooter: nothing you aren’t already doing  
Sharpshooter: my brain just isn’t working  
Sharpshooter: and what sucks is you can feel depression  
Sharpshooter: it’s a mix of feeling numb and like you have a 200 pound weight attached to your heart  
Sharpshooter: it fucking sucks  
Allarming: :((  
Ratthew: we love you  
Sharpshooter: <3  
-  
Sharpshooter: uhhhh Mrs.G still doesn’t call me Lance  
Cocaine: i’m going to fucking kill her  
Takashit: i’ll allow it  
Cocaine: :))))))))  
Gremlin: i’m fucking coming  
Gremlin: i’m going to get my greedy little hands around her neck  
Ratthew: fucking do it  
Ratthew: mom will bail us out of jail  
Ruined: mom can give her the McClain™ Talking to  
Sharpshooter: all  
Sharpshooter: WAIT PIDGE JUST WALKED INTO THE ROOM  
Ratthew: RECORD IT  
Sharpshooter: OH MY GOD  
Sharpshooter: [video]  
Shayaway: LEGEND  
Sunshine: I STAN  
Ramen: PRETCH   
Ratthew: on this day my terrible terrible sibling ROASTED THE FUCK OUT OF A TEACHER  
Gremlin: thank you thank you  
Gremlin: i am a bitter soul  
Sharpshooter: they dropped the mic  
Sharpshooter: it was great  
-  
Sharpshooter: hey hey hey  
Sharpshooter: @depression can you not make it physically impossible for me to do everyday things like i don’t know  
Sharpshooter: my school work, eating, reading, getting out of bed, talking  
Ruined: :((  
Sunshine: babe  
Cocaine: i’m coming to give you a hug  
Sharpshooter: okay  
-  
Sharpshooter: AH   
Cocaine: WHAT???!!!!!!!  
Sharpshooter: MY BINDER CAME!!!!!!!!!!  
Dickweed: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Shayaway:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Ratthew:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Takashit:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Cocaine:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Sunshine: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Gremlin:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Ramen:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Allarming:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Sharpshooter:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Sharpshooter: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH I’M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sharpshooter: FUCK THE WORLD

Sharpshooter: FUCK DEPRESSION

Sharpshooter: I'M SO HAPPY AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gay for heather chandler  
> i'm going to try to upload a chapter for keiths birthday and halloween  
> its going to be lit


	23. birthday surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UwU this didn't go how it was meant to go

_ Queer squad _

Sharpshooter: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Takashit: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Gremlin: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Dickweed: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Allarming: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Shayaway: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH 

Sunshine: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Ratthew: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Ruined: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Boneless: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

Cocaine: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Cocaine: THANK YOU

Sharpshooter: at the end of the day you have to tell us who got you the best present

Cocaine: oh god

Takashit: as your brother

Cocaine: no

Takashit: AS YOUR BROTHER

Cocaine: NO

-

_ Kogaynes _

Achoo: happy b-day bro

Cocaine: that was the most unenthusiastic happy birthday i’ve received

Cocaine: also happy birthday to you too

Achoo: i’ve survived 17 years with your gay ass i don’t need to be enthusiastic

Cocaine: tru

Texas: you guys be nice 

Cocaine: no

Takashit: well come downstairs before i eat everything

Takashit: i’m fucking starving 

Achoo: fine

-

_ Fucker>Cocaine _

Fucker: happy birthday

Cocaine: thanks

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: ugh why is James talking to me

Boneless: ew

Ratthew: aren’t you friends with him?

Boneless: so?

Ratthew: valid

Ruined: did he say anything weird

Cocaine: nah he just said happy birthday

Ruined: oh chill

-

_ Fucker>Cocaine _

Fucker: I was wondering if you’d like to go out?

Fucker: like on a date

Cocaine: no

-

_ Queer Squad _

Cocaine: ew he asked me out

Boneless: JAMES WILLIAM GRIFFIN

Sharpshooter: oh my god he has the most white name ever

-

_ Kool Kids Klub _

Boneless: JAMES WILLIAM GRIFFIN

Fucker: sigh

Hahah RYAN: what he do this time?

Fucker: NOTHING

Fucker: i just asked Keith out

Fucker: he said no :(

Hahah RYAN: oh boy

Irony: oh boy

Boneless: WE TOLD YOU KLANCE IS CANON KING

Hahah RYAN: don’t mess with her OTPs boy

Hahah RYAN: especially when they both pine over each other 25/8

Fucker: i am confusion

Irony: Lance and Keith are this close to being a couple don’t get in the way

Fucker: what

-

_ Sharpshooter added Allarming Dickweed Gremlin Ramen Ratthew Sunshine and Takashit to the chat _

Sharpshooter named the chat birthday

Sharpshooter: Hunk you brought the food right

Sunshine: yep

Ratthew: and i brought a megaphone

Gremlin: and i brought a bluetooth speaker

Takashit: and i’ve got Keith

Sharpshooter: hehehe

Sharpshooter: good

-

_ Queer club _

Cocaine: why am i at school so early 

Gremlin: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cocaine: shiro let my out of the car

Gremlin: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cocaine: SHIRO LET ME OUT OF THE CAR

Sharpshooter: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cocaine: TAKASHI SHIROGANE LET ME OUT OF THE CAR

Cocaine: HE LOCKED THE DOORS

Cocaine: THERE HAS BEEN NO RED LIGHTS HOW THE FUCK

Cocaine: oh no

Cocaine: WHY ARE Y’ALL WAITING FOR ME

Cocaine: PLEASE DON’T HURT MEREFBDGVCUHSFB

-

Pidge laughed as shiro carried Keith bride style towards the picnic benches behind the school. 

“PLEASE DON’T” Keith yelled, attempting to get away. But Shiro doesn’t skip arm day and keith is a weak ass bitch. 

People started staring, of course, but by this time, everyone knows that they’re the ‘weird squad’ of the school, and messing with them means that seemingly half the school, including some teachers, is going to mess with you.

Shiro carries Keith, who is still pleading, to the picnic tables. Lance opens his camera, and leads the group into singing happy birthday.

Keith stops fighting as stares at Lance.

“Lance what the fuck.” he says after they’re done. 

“What?” Lance says, ears turning red

“You’re such a good singer? What the fuck? You can’t just hit me with that Brendon Urie shit i wasn’t ready.”

“O-oh uh thanks?”

“Before Keith causes Lance to melt into the ground, let’s open the presents and eat.”

Shiro puts Keith down, once he’s sure Keith won’t run away, and shuffles over to Adam, and wraps his arms around him.

Pidge brings out a bluetooth speaker from their bag and turns it on

“Don’t worry Keith, i have only the best songs on here.” they say with a wink

“Oh god pidge plea-”   
“Baby lock them doors and turn the light down low.”

Pidge turns the volume all the way up so people in china can hear it.

“Pidge i swear to god.” Keith grabs the phone from them and skips the song

“someBODY once told me the world was gonna roll me i ain’t the sharpest too-”

“Next”

“I hear the drums echoing tonight but she hears only whispers of some quiet conversat-”

“Next.”

“We’re no strangers to looooove you know the rules and so do iii”

“What the fuck pidge are these all meme songs.”   
“Yep.” Pidge says, taking back the phone.

Matt hops on the table and takes out a Megaphone. Pidge turns the music down a little and nods at Allura, who is sitting in Romelle’s lap.

“WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS! IT’S TIME FOR KEITHS BIRTHDAY SURPRISES!” Matt yells into the megaphone “THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST ONE OF THE DAAAY! BROUGHT TO YOU BY” Allura drum rolls “A GROUP EFFORT! LANCE PLANED IT! HUNK CATERED! SHIRO WAS ON KEITH DUTY! PIDGE ON MUSIC! ALLURA ON SOUND! ROMELLE AND SHAY ON SETTING UP AND ME ON ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!!!” 

They all clap and sit down to start eating as pidge turns the music back up.

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: is the whole day to be like that

Ramen: yep

Takashit: we each have a surprise picked out for you :)

Cocaine: oh boy

-

Keith was halfway through a test in Mr.Kolivans class when it happened.

Panic! At the Disco started playing through the speaker system. Of course, the first song was I Write Sins Not Tragedies, Then it switched to Fall Out Boy (WAMS) and then Twenty One Pilots (House Of Gold) and then My Chemical Romance(Welcome To The Black Parade) and so on.

-

_ Queer squad _

Gremlin: you’re welcome

Gremlin: i’m taking suggestions

Cocaine: All Star

Sharpshooter: thank you for that blessing

Gremlin: this is only part one :)

Cocaine: oh boy

-

Hunk and Shay’s surprise came at Lunch. They had (not surprisingly) cooked a meal. What was surprising was that it was more like a buffet than a meal. 

It was his all his favorite foods (including his all time favorites Dak-galbi and Andong jjimdak)

He didn’t get to eat it all but Hunk promised he’d keep it in the Culinary room (Yes The Garrison was a high end school that had a Culinary class.) 

Keith decided if he couldn’t marry Lance he’d settle with Hunk(cause who doesn’t want to have home made Dak-galbi every week?) though he’d rather die than break up Shay and Hunk(they are the perfect couple and just happen to break every gender role. Hunk wants to be a stay at home dad and Shay wants to be a Lawyer).

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: shay….

Cocaine: you’re so lucky to have hunk

Shayaway: thanks! I know

Sunshine: i didn’t do all of it :(   
Sunshine: shay made half the food 

Shayaway: okay i baked but you did all the real cooking

Sunshine: babe

Shayaway: babe

Sharpshooter: what did he cook

Cocaine: Dak-galbi, Andong jjimdak, Seolleongtang, Budae jjigae, Mac & cheese, deep fried probably everything and apple pie just to name a few

Sharpshooter: babe

Sunshine: i was only going to cook Dak-galbi, Mac & cheese and Apple pie but then i got carried away :(

Cocaine: i don’t know how i’m going to eat all of it

Sharpshooter: can i help!   
Cocaine: sure

Sharpshooter: fuck yeah

-

Allura and Romelle had combined forces and made him a fucking Gothic Dress with a cloak(Keith wanted one really bad because fuck Gender Rolls he’d look great in a dress). They hadn’t brought it too school cause it was pretty big but they did show him pictures and he wanted to die right then and there. It looked fucking amazing. It was a red and black victorian 

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: How the fuck?

Ramen: My mom owns a fabric store

Allarming: and i know how to sew!

Cocaine: how long did it take you?

Allarming: like 8 months

Cocaine: BOTH OF YOU

Cocaine: fucking great friends i fucking love you

Ramen: a rare sedimental keith has appeared!   
Cocaine: never mind i hate you

Allarming: :(

Cocaine: :)

-

Part 2 of Pidges was sent to him during 6th period. He was a little concerned because it was just a video and a winky face. Who knows what that might be

So he waited till there was no one around (bathroom) and plugged in his headphones.

Brendon Urie came up on the screen.

“Hey Keith! It’s Brendon Urie and i just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Your friend Pidge is very threatening and demanded I make this video. I hope you have a great year and have fun.”

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: PIDGE

Cocaine: HOW THE FUCK

Cocaine: DID YOU FUCKING

Cocaine: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sharpshooter: THEY DID IT FOR YOU TOO???   
Gremlin: look i didn’t expect him to actually do it that’s why i have the speaker thing but this morning he said he’d do it

Takashit: what did pidge do?

Cocaine: they got Brendon Urie to make a birthday video

Takashit: he did a happy birthday for Lance too?

Sharpshooter: no it was more of a ‘i believe in you buddy!” video

Sharpshooter: but i still cried

Takashit: oh boy

-

Shiro gave him some rainbow Jack Ripper throwing knives to add to his collection and said that being his older brother was also a gift. (The knife was one Keith had been looking at for a fucking long time and he’d been too lazy to by some. Also it was gay)

Matt had given him some SUPER nice throwing knives(UNITED CUTLERY UC2772 EXPENDABLES KUNAI!!!!!!!!) as well as some targets with Trump’s face on them (what a good friend.)

Adam got him a nice medieval style black sword (which probably cost over $700(his family is pretty rich))

They obviously didn’t bring them to school because why the fuck would they? And Matt’s gift wasn’t going to be delivered until the 25th but he cried nonetheless .

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: fuck you guys

Dickweed: mmmh i’d rather do your brother

Takashit: ADAM

Cocaine: please stop

Cocaine: i can’t wait to wear my sword with my dress

Ratthew: that sound hot

Takashity: don’t you have a S/O

Ratthew: yeah

Ratthew: and i’d love to see them in a dress and sword

Ratthew: especially the one Romelle and Allura made

Ratthew: its hot

-

The last person to ‘surprise’ him was Lance. It was after school when he took Keith by the hand and led him to the back of the school to the giant oak tree just off the school property. They had made the tree their meeting place back freshman year when it was just Hunk, Pidge, Keith and Lance (keith being ””””””too cool””””” to hang out with his older brother and the same with Pidge). It was the place both Lance and Pidge had come out (Keith and Hunk coming out it middle school), the place that Keith had first fell in love with Lance. The place Lance had gone when he wanted to be comforted. The place they’d held hands and snuggled because what else were friends for. They’d eventually stopped meeting there after a rough year (Lance’s depression getting bad, Keith being diagnosed with autism, Pidge losing a good chunk of their friends after coming out ect.) of course, this had brought them closer and Shiro and Matt joined the group(Shiro was there when Keith cried when he was diagnosed and Matt had immediately accepted Pidge, and then came out as bi, and then pidge topped him and came out as AroAce) 

Keith had almost forgotten about the place. 

Today the leaves had changed into beautiful reds and oranges, with fairy lights woven into the lower branches. It was breathtaking. It was something he wish he could capture in his art, and he’d probably try(but he could never do it justice) Lance smiled at him. It was warm and made him feel like he was on top of the world.

“Do you like what I did?”

“fuck-Lance this is amazing!” Keith says, laughing. 

“Come on!” Lance says, leading him the tree.

Lance takes out a ukulele and sits down. Keith follows with a smile on his face.

“A whole show? Just for me?” Keith asked. Lance smiles and shushes him.

Lance takes a deep breathe

“Sometimes you gotta bleed to know

That you’re alive and have a soul

But it takes someone to come around

To show you how

he’s the tear in my heart

I’m alive

he’s the tear in my heart

I’m on fire

he’s the tear in my heart

Take me higher

Than I’ve ever been

The songs on the radio are okay

But my taste in music is your face

And it takes a song to come around

To show you how

he’s the tear in my heart

I’m alive

he’s the tear in my heart

I’m on fire

he’s the tear in my heart

Take me higher

Than I’ve ever been

Than I’ve ever been

Than I’ve ever been

Than I’ve ever been

You fell asleep in my car I drove the whole time

But that’s okay I’ll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine

I’m driving here I sit

Cursing my government

For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement

You fell asleep in my car I drove the whole time

But that’s okay I’ll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine

I’m driving here I sit

Cursing my government

For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement

Sometimes you gotta bleed to know oh, oh-” it starts pouring. Lance continues

“But it takes someone to come around

To show you how

he’s the tear in my heart

I’m alive

he’s the tear in my heart

I’m on fire

he’s the tear in my heart

Take me higher

Than I’ve ever been

My heart is my armor

he’s the tear in my heart

he’s a carver

he’s a butcher with a smile

Cut me farther

Than I’ve ever been

Than I’ve ever been

Than I’ve ever been

Than I’ve ever been

My heart is my armor

he’s the tear in my heart

he’s a carver

he’s a butcher with a smile

Cut me farther

Than I’ve ever been” Lance lets the last note ring.

“I-I’m sorry. I messed up it’s raining and now your wet. Fuck. i was going to confess and now-” Keiths ‘monkey brain’ takes over and he grabs the front of Lances hoodie and presses his lips against Lance’s. The world melts around him and all keith can think about is  _ Lance _ . Lance with his perfect skin, his perfect voice and his gorgeous blue eyes. They’re lips linger there for a second, before they split.

“It was perfect.” Keith says after a moment.

“You-”

“I fucking love you.”

“Me?”

“You Lance McClain. My best friend. Hopefully my boyfriend.”

“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend”

“Are you going to say yes?”

“Fuck yeah, but you gotta ask.”

“Lance McClain, will you be my boyfriend?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Lance goes in for another kiss, but suddenly there friend emerge with pidge on their shoulders in a god-like matter.

“LANCE! KEITH! I HAVE NEWS!!!” Pidge yells “I AM PREGNANT!!!”

“WHAT?” Lance yells

They set pidge on the ground in front of them. Once they are safely on the ground, they pull out a wrapped present from under their shirt.

“From Coran and Alfor.” They say, placing it in Keiths hands.

-

_ Queer club _

Cocaine: wow

Cocaine: i think that’s the best birthday i’ve ever had

Takashit: well

Takashit: who gave the best present

Cocaine: Lance

Sharpshooter: :D

Cocaine: love you

Sharpshooter: :DDDDDDDD

Ruined: ARE Y’ALL FINALLY DATING

Sharpshooter: YEAH

Ruined: FUCK YEAH

Sunshine: FUCKING FINALLY

-

_ kick _

_ Ruined added Cocaine and Sharpshooter to the chat _

Arge: THEY’RE TOGETHER??????!!!!!

Gremlin: YEP

Achoo: FUCK YEAH

Cocaine: wtf

Sharpshooter: oh boy

Boneless: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah klance wasn't going to happen and then i started writing and i went 'fuck it'  
> heres keiths sword: https://auction.catawiki.com/kavels/16079291-medieval-sword  
> matts present: https://www.amazon.com/United-Cutlery-UC2772-Expendables-Thrower/dp/B004MRTV9I  
> allura and romelles is basically this: https://www.amazon.com/LuckyMjmy-Velvet-Renaissance-Medieval-red-Black/dp/B07B2WMGHN/ref=sr_1_50?ie=UTF8&qid=1540311004&sr=8-50&keywords=vampire%2Bdress&th=1 and https://www.amazon.com/CountryWomen-Renaissance-Steampunk-Vampire-Halloween/dp/B07H34B3NP/ref=sr_1_212?ie=UTF8&qid=1540311043&sr=8-212&keywords=gothic+dress  
> halloween is next and i'm ready  
> heres a thing that happened  
> so y'all know my phone was stolen right  
> well it was stolen in my animations class so Monday i stood up at the end and yelled "who ever stole my my fucking phone is a piece of shit" and my teacher yelled at me (the other people in the class where like "uh yeah they're a piece of shit you have aright to say that go you" cause no one likes the teacher) but TODAY she announced that no phones where allowed which i bull my phone was not out and shes just a bitch  
> anyway my weeks been pretty okay.  
> i fucking love love y'all thanks for reading


	24. welcome gregs

_Shayaway >Sunshine _

Shayaway: BABE

Sunshine: YEAH?  
Shayaway: WANNA GO ON A DATE?

Sunshine: YEAH

Shayaway: OKAY

Sunshine: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

Shayaway: MAYBE JUST GET COFFEE?

Sunshine: AT THE BALMERA?

Shayaway: IDK IS RAX GOING TO BE WEIRD

Shayaway: OR MY PARENTS

Sunshine: OH YEAH

Shayaway: WE COULD GO TO THE LGBT ONE

Sunshine: LGBTEA AND COFFEE?

Shayaway: YEAH

Sunshine: OKAY

Shayaway: LOVE YOU

Sunshine LOVE YOU TOO

-

_Queer squad_

Sharpshooter: istg if any of you say anything i’ll beat your ass

Sharpshooter: I woke up late this morning

Gremlin: OH

Sunshine: OOH?

Sharpshooter: oh god

Gremlin: KEITH IS GOING TO SHIT HIS PANTS

Cocaine: I’m going to what

Sharpshooter: oh boy

Sharpshooter: they’re overreacting I actually look terrible

Sunshine: MHHH INCORRECT

Gremlin: HE LOOKS GREAT

Sharpshooter: lies

Sunshine: I’LL FIGHT YOU

Ratthew: WOW LANCE YOU LOOK GOOOOOOD

Cocaine: don’t flirt with my boyfriend

Cocaine: also I’m coming for you lance

Sharpshooter: stop lying ratt

Ratthew: I know a hot man when I see one

Sharpshooter: >:(

Cocaine: is that you lance

Cocaine: cause if it is istg I’m going to cry

Cocaine: OH BOY

-

_cocaine >Ruined _

Cocaine: I need you to hide Lances contacts and Hair straightener

Ruined: on it :)

-

_Queer Club_

Cocaine:[image.png]

Cocaine:[image.png]

Sharpshooter: >:(

Cocaine: shut up ur beautiful

Ratthew: fact

Ramen: AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER IS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE ANYONE WHO DISAGREES CAN FIGHT ME

Allarming: why the fuck would anyone disagree with you it’s a fact

Takashit: idk people deny facts all the time

Dickweed: yeah people think the Holocaust is a hoax

Sharpshooter: fucking idiots

Cocaine: stop looking at your phone and look at me :(

Shayaway: I didn’t know Keith was such an attention hog

Takashit: I did

Takashit: he’s a little shit

Cocaine:>:(

Cocaine: Shiro you shit

Dickweed: don’t attack my boyfriend

Sharpshooter: don’t attack mine

Sunshine: how about we all go back to cuddling, texting in class and being gay

Cocaine: sounds good to me

Allarming: I would be in but Romells not in this class with me

Ramen: Love you babe

Allarming: I love you too

Cocaine: I love Lance

Sharpshooter: say it to my face

Cocaine: no

Sharpshooter: fine >:(

Sharpshooter: GUYS HE DID IT

Sunshine: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Shayaway: AAAAHHHHH

Takashit: wow I think he’s said that to me once and to our parents like 3 times

Cocaine: I’m saving it for when it's important

Takashit: the one time out said it to me I was literally dying

Cocaine: I also said it to you in the counseling office

Cocaine: like 3 times

Takashit: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Takashit: GUYS

Takashit:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Takashit: KEITH LOVES ME

Dickweed: i love you

Takashit: :0

Ratthew: that's gay

Gremlin: no u

Ratthew: :00000

Ratthew: offended

Ramen: guys guys we’re all gay down here

Gremlin: gay gay we’re all guys down here

Ratthew: down down we’re all gay guys here

Sharpshooter: all all we’re gay guys down here

Cocaine: here here we’re all gay down guys

Ruined: we’re we’re guys all gay down here

Dickweed: beautiful

-

Cocaine: ewwwww

Cocaine: I forget homophobic/transphobic people still exist

Sharpshooter: who are they i will fight them

Cocaine: babe, no

Sharpshooter: ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽_•︻̷┻̿═━一

Cocaine: BABE

Allarming: cute

Gremlin: does anyone else take nerds like shots

Ratthew: what

Gremlin: the fucking candy u piece of shit

Cocaine: is there any other way to eat them

Takashit: ??

Takashit: you eat them like a fucking human

Ramen: wait

Ramen: Shiro how do you eat Nerds

Takashit: you pour them in your hand and lick them off

Dickweed: WHAT THE FUCK

Takashit: I’m joking oh my god

Dickweed: you better be

Takashit:͡° ͜ʖ ͡ -

Sharpshooter: I am very afraid of Shiro now

-

Sharpshooter: why tf are people so loud?

Sharpshooter: i forgot my headphones

Sharpshooter: i think i’m going to die

Cocaine: BABE DON’T DIE I’LL BE SAD

Sharpshooter: oh fuck

Sharpshooter: i guess i’ll have to not die

Cocaine: thank god

Ratthew: incoming gay

Ratthew: Alex is very cute and he makes my gay heart go _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Gremlin: gay

Ratthew: thanks

-

Queer squad

Ratthew: it’s Alex's birthday everyone say something

Gremlin: happy birthday hurt my brother and i’ll hurt you

Takashit: happy birthday and good luck

Sharpshooter: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DON’T HURT MY BROFRIEND

Cocaine: it is your birthday

Dickweed: you are 1 year closer to death (was that an office reference Keith?)

Cocaine: yes

Shayaway: happy birthday my fellow gay

Sunshine: happy birthday!! I would send you food but,,,,,,

Allarming: happy birthday!!! We hope to absorb you and your essence sometime soon!

Ramen: !!!! happy happy birthday Alex dear

Ratthew: he says thank you

Ratthew: he also said that Pidge scares him

Gremlin: yay :D

-

Allarming: ew assemblies

Ramen: at least we will be able to be together

Allarming <3

Ratthew: gross

Gremlin: Lance and I are sitting in the top corner come find us

Cocaine: what’s this one about?

Gremlin: idk

Sharpshooter: maybe another drug one

Takashit: *looks at Keith*

Cocaine: okay just because I smoked once and my name is cocaine doesn’t mean I’m a drug addict  

Sharpshooter: u did what

Cocaine: look I was an edgy 13-year-old

Cocaine: and it was terrible I’d never do it again

Takashit: it’s starting

Dickweed: suck up

Takashit: why do I love you

Dickweed: cause I’m hot

Takashit: okay that’s true

Shayaway: wow I love drugs mmmmh

Sunshine: b-babe?

Shayaway: oh shit

Allarming: I wish they actually talked about the reason most kids abuse drugs

Allarming: you know

Allarming: like depression

Sharpshooter: ^^

Allarming: I think papa’s trying to convince principal Santos to have a mental health assembly

Cocaine: go Coran

Sharpshooter: i love that man <33

-

Dickweed: ughhhhhh I’m ready for football season to be over

Dickweed: but even then we still have competitions

Ratthew: stop texting during band

Dickweed: no >:(  
Ratthew: oh boy Mr. Meltzer is going to be angry when he finds out his favorite student was texting during class

Dickweed: you wouldn’t dare

Ratthew: *squints eyes*

Dickweed: fuck you ratt

Rattew:*offended noise*

Ruined: i am confusion

Sharpshooter: no one understands band geeks except band geeks

Takashit: can confirm

Dickweed: thats because we’re the best clique in the entire school

Ratthew: remember during band camp when Mike asked Jaiden what their gender was and they responded “i’m an oboe”

Dickweed: thats tea

Ratthew: aahh band camp

Gremlin: every day you came home screaming “i’m going to quit band i hate it so much”  
Dickweed: Tea?

Dickweed: but same

Ratthew: that's just band culture

Dickweed: remember when Takashi asked me to Homecoming during a game

Takashit: that was lit

Takashit: some of the freshmen on the team were being homophobic so i just *shrug*

Takashit: mildly threatened them

Cocaine: BDE

-

-

Sharpshooter: Y’ALL  
Sharpshooter: my brother just texted me

Sharpshooter: my Miles merch has arrived

Ramen: OwO  
Ramen: Pink or Black

Sharpshooter: pink  
Ramen: BRO I HAVE THE PINK SHIRT

Sharpshooter: BRO

Sharpshooter: WE CAN MATCH TOMORROW

Ramen: BRO

-

_Shayaway >Sunshine _

Shayaway: BABE YOU READY FOR OUR DATE?

Sunshine: HECC YEAH I’LL BE OVER IN 10 MINUTES

Shayaway: HELL YEAH

Sunshine: (~˘▾˘)~

-

Sharpshooter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8a65a-B5Zw

Ratthew: YO

Ratthew: YOU’RE GREG

Sharpshooter: YOU’RE GREG TOO?

Ratthew: BROOOOOOOOOOOO

Sharpshooter: BROOOOOOOOOOOOO

Cocaine: babe, why did you send that

Sharpshooter: I THOUGHT YOU WHERE MY REAL RIDE OR DIE

Ratthew: YOU TOLD ME YOU’D ALWAYS BE BY MY SIDE

Sharpshooter: WE HAD KIDS AND A FRIDGE WITH THE SAUCES INSIDE

Ratthew: WE HAD THE SAUCES

Sharpshooter: BUT IT TURNED OUT THAT YOU WERE TELLING LIES

Ratthew: ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE A DAD

Sharpshooter: BUT YOU TOOK THAT AWAY AND GAVE IT RIGHT TO CHAD

Ratthew: HE’S SO RIPPED AND SO HOT HOW CAN I COMPETE WITH THAT

Sharpshooter: I’M HUMPTY DUMPTY CAUSE YOU SHATTERED ME

Ratthew: NOW LETS TOGETHER SAD

Sharpshooter: JOHNNY JOHNNY DO YOU MISS ME

Ratthew: YES PAPA

Sharpshooter: JOHNNY JOHNNY HAVE YOU MOVED ON YET

Ratthew: NO PAPA

Sharpshooter: PROMISE ME YOU WON’T FORGET

Ratthew: IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE ME JUST DON’T EAT YOUR BROCCOLI

Sharpshooter: JOHNNY JOHNNY DO YOU MISS ME

Ratthew: YES PAPA

Sharpshooter: JOHNNY JOHNNY HAVE YOU MOVED ON YET

Ratthew: NO PAPA

Sharpshooter: PROMISE ME YOU WON’T FORGET

Ratthew: IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE ME JUST DON’T EAT YOUR BROCCOLI

Sharpshooter: YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING AND NOW WE’RE DONE

Ratthew: I BOUGHT YOU BALL ICE CREAM AND FUN

Sharpshooter: COME JOHNNY JUST SLIDE AND COME

Ratthew: BACK INTO MY LIFE BECAUSE I MISS MY SON

Sharpshooter: NOW I KNOW WHY ITS CALLED BILLION SURPRISE TOYS

Ratthew: CAUSE YOU RUN AROUND WITH BILLION SURPRISE BOYS

Sharpshooter: SHOULDA KNOWN WHEN YOU WAS ACTING KIND OF DISTANT

Ratthew: COPYRIGHT CLAIMING SHIT LIKE I NEVER EXISTED

Sharpshooter: JOHNNY JOHNNY DO YOU MISS ME

Ratthew: YES PAPA

Sharpshooter: JOHNNY JOHNNY HAVE YOU MOVED ON YET

Ratthew: NO PAPA

Sharpshooter: PROMISE ME YOU WON’T FORGET

Ratthew: IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE ME JUST DON’T EAT YOUR BROCCOLI

Takashit: why

Allarming: Greg?  
Sharpshooter: the fastest growing army on youtube

Ratthew: a blood-related family

Sharpshooter: Probably a cult

Ratthew: tbh

Gremlin: oh lord

Sharpshooter: you know you love me

Cocaine: why why why why why why why why why why why why why

Ramen: GREEEG

Takashit: oh no

Ratthew: IT’S A GREG PARTY!!

-

_Ratthew added Sharpshooter and Ramen to the chat_

_Ratthew named the chat GREG_

Ramen: hello fellow Gregs

Ratthew: yes Gregs

Sharpshooter: I love my Gregs

-

_Queer squad_

Sunshine: why is it so quiet?

Gremlin: goals

Gremlin: Ratt is laughing really hard

-

_GREG_

Ratthew: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Sharpshooter: HOP BACK IN

Ramen: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Ratthew: THAT’S MY SHIT

Sharpshooter: TALK ABOUT

Ramen: LOOK AT THE LOOK IN YOUR EYES

Rattew: WHEN I HOP OUT OF THE PORSCHE

Sharpshooter: HOP OUT THE BENZ HOP OUT THE BEAMER BITCH

ramen: I AIN’T GOT OPEN THE DOORS

Ratthew: AND I GOT A BAD LIL MAMA

Sharpshooter: LIL MAMA

ramen: SHE WANNA GO FOR A RIDE

Ratthew: JOKES ON HER, I’M ONLY FOURTEEN YEARS OLD

Sharpshooter: I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

Ramen: WE JUST BE SITTIN’ IN THE CAR

Ratthew: WE JUST BE SITTIN’ IN THE WHIP

Sharpshooter:  IM MIGHT HOP RIGHT OUT

Ramen: RIGHT BEFORE I HOP BACK IN

Ratthew: I’VE BEEN WORKING ON MY SQUATS

Sharpshooter: I’VE BEEN WORKING ON MY SPRINTS

Ramen: I GOT A TRAMP IN THE GARAGE

Ratthew: I BROUGHT BRAND NEW KICKS

Sharpshooter: SO I CAN

Ramen: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Ratthew: HOP BACK IN

Sharpshooter: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Ramen: HOP BACK IN

Ratthew: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Sharpshooter: HOP BACK IN

Ramen: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Ratthew: OHHH THAT’S MY SHIT

-

_Queer squad_

Shayaway: WAIT DID I MISS A GREG PARTY

Shayaway: I WAS ON A COFFEE DATE WITHS NOT FAIR

Ratthew: ANOTHER GREG

-

_GREG_

_Ratthew added Shayaway to the chat_

Ramen: THIS WHIPPIN’ IS SERIOUS

Ratthew: IT AIN’T EVEN FUNNY

Sharpshooter: THESE BITCHES BE BUGGIN’

Shayaway: I JUST STAY HOPPING LIKE BUNNIES

Ramen: COVERED IN CARROTS

Ratthew: WHAT’S UP DOC CAN YOU LOOK AT MY HIP

Sharpshooter: I DIDN’T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF

Shayaway: I THINK I DISLOCATED IT WHEN I HOPPED IN THE WHIP

Ramen: DOIN’ TRICKS IN THE WHIP

Ratthew: 360 DEGREES IN A FLIP

Sharpshooter: GOING UP TO THE HIGH DIVE AND DRIVING THIS SHIT

Shayaway: GOING UP IN A PLANE AND SKYDIVING IN THIS

Ramen: AND WHEN I LAND WE’RE HIGH FIVING I BET

Ratthew: IT DID HAVE A ROOF BUT IT DOESN’T NO MORE

Sharpshooter: I PUT IT AWAY LIKE I’M DOING SOME CHORES

Shayaway: NOW I CAN HOP IN AND OUT OF THE WHIP

Ramen: ‘TIL I FIGURE OUT HOW TO OPEN THE DOORS

Ratthew: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Sharpshooter: HOP BACK IN

Shayaway: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Ramen: THAT’S MY SHIT

Ratthew: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Sharpshooter: HOP BACK IN

Shayaway: HOP OUT THE WHIP

Ramen: OOOHH THAT’S MY SHIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not uploading a halloween chapter  
> i got really depressed and didn't feel like writing  
> expect angst in the next chapter  
> also if you're not Greg what are you doing with your life  
> I WENT TO A TWENTY ONE PILOTS CONERT AND IT WAS SO GREAT I CRIED OH MY GOOOOD  
> Tyler Joepsh and Josh Dun are gods  
> also Josh wrote 'Houston' on his abs (thats where i live folks) and it was hot  
> THEY SANG TAXI CAB I SOBBED  
> leave this city is 111111111111111111/10 live


	25. ey it's time for Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i told you guys it was gonna be angsty *shrugs*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet okay this is just me venting my pent up feelings about my cousin so yeet  
> (I was going to upload November 27th.....the actual day but i finshed so yeet)

_ Trans Dysphorian Blues _

Sharpshooter: uhhhhhhhhhh

Sharpshooter: it’s The Day

Gremlin: oh god

Gremlin: stay home

Sharpshooter: i’ve already missed too much school and it’s not like it’s an actual reason to stay home

Sunshine: boo you have an actual reason

Sharpshooter: i can’t just miss school because I feel guilty about my cousins’ death

Sunshine: yes you can

Sharpshooter: I can’t miss an more days or they’ll hold me back

Gremlin: you aren’t going to be able to focus and you’ll just get overwhelmed

Gremlin: like last year

Sharpshooter: i know i know

Sharpshooter: but i should be over it

Sharpshooter: it’s been like 2 years

Sharpshooter: i haven’t even seen her since the beginning of 2016

Sharpshooter: i didn’t even get to attend the funeral

Sharpshooter: i didn’t even know she died until a couple weeks later

Gremlin: it’s okay to not be over it

Gremlin: and it’s not your fault

Sharpshooter: if i had just talked to her,,,,,

Gremlin: you don’t know that anything would have gone differently

Sharpshooter: but it could have

Sunshine: you can’t focus on the what-ifs

Sunshine: you know depression doesn’t work like that

Sharpshooter: if i just told her i loved her and kept in contact and i could have saved her

Sunshine: you don’t know that

Sunshine: you were 12 she was 18. You didn’t have to help carry her burdens

Sharpshooter: her dad obviously didn’t care too much and idk if she had many friends

Sharpshooter: i could have helped

Sharpshooter: i knew something was wrong but i did nothing

Gremlin: babe, we love you and you can’t keep thinking about the what ifs

Gremlin: it will just make you feel worse

Sharpshooter: yeah i guess

-

_ Cocaine>Sunshine _

Cocaine: why does lance look extra sad

Sunshine: its family stuff

Sunshine: he doesn’t like talking about it so don’t pressure him

Sunshine: just be there for him

Cocaine: K

-

_ Queer squad _

Shayaway: BABE

Sunshine: YEAH??

Shayaway: i love you ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Sunshine: i love you too (~˘▾˘)~

Cocaine: gay

Shayaway: Keith we are literally the only people in this group chat who are in a straight relationship

Cocaine: straight

Sunshine: thats better

Ratthew: ummmm, Alex is a girl today. Checkmate we have 2 straight relationships

Shayaway: damn

Sunshine: babe we’re not special anymore :(

Shayaway: :(

Dickweed:/╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

Gremlin: what the fuck

Dickweed:/╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

Allarming:༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿༽▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ༽

Ramen:[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡◥▶ ͜ʖ ͡◀◤)̲̅$̲̅]

Sunshine: /╲/( ͜。 ͜。 ͡ ͡ʖ ͜。 ͜。)/\╱\︵└(՞▃՞ └)

Shayaway: /╲/\╭༼ : ❛ ◡ ❛ : ༽╮/\╱\

Gremlin: what the fuck

Ratthew: Ѱ╭(⌣)╮Ѱ

Sharpshooter: [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ヽ̲̅༼̲̅ຈ̲̅ل͜ຈ̲̅༽̲̅ﾉ̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]

Gremlin: sigh

Gremlin: if you can’t beat em, join em

Gremlin: ⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚

Dickweed: I JUST SAW SOMEONE WEARING THOSE FUCKING TOE SHOES I’M GOING TO FUCK DIE

Sharpshooter: WHAT THE FUCK

Cocaine: ???

Takashit: THE SHOES WITH THE TOES

Cocaine: OH

Cocaine: what the fuck

-

Sharpshooter: mmh I love listening to a live recording of My Blood, Neon Gravestones, and Leave This City and crying :D

Cocaine: babe :(   
Sharpshooter: depression is fun

Sharpshooter: IN TRENCH I’M NOT ALONE

Sharpshooter: i wonder if mama would let me get a tattoo

Sharpshooter: “i’m tired” omg same ty

Cocaine: babe,,,,,,,,,,

Sunshine: booo,,,

Gremlin: :(

Allarming: boo if you need to stay home

Ruined: :(((((

Sharpshooter: damn i forget how good just like yesterday is??

Cocaine: babe :(

Cocaine: I’m in Coran's class do you want snuggles?

Sharpshooter: I’m coming 

Cocaine: <3

-

Sunshine: LANCE I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE A TEST IN SPANISH CAN YOU COME AND HELP ME STUDY

Sharpshooter: nyoom

Cocaine: :( thanks for taking away my boo

Sunshine: :D

Allarming: wait why doesn’t our school have a GSA   
Cocaine: …..

Cocaine: why don’t we start one

Allarming: but we have to get a teacher to sponsor us

Cocaine: allura you have two gay dads 

Cocaine: who are both teachers

Cocaine: at this school

Allarming: oh!   
Allarming: duh

Ramen: Allura

Ramen: you’re a big dumb

Ramen: but I still love you

Allarming: <3

Ramen: <3

Shayaway: Y’all

Shayaway: my parents are making LGBT+ drinks

Shayaway: Trans, Pan, Ace, Aro, Bi,Gay, Lesbian, Nonbinary,  Agender, Genderfluid, Bigender,etc.

Shayaway: It’s going to be LIT

Sunshine:  OwO

Sunshine: group date to the Balmera after school

Sharpshooter: hell yeah

Boneless: can I come 

Ruined: fuck yeah

Ramen: Nadia,,,, do you just stalk the chat?

Boneless: yep :D

Ruined: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Boneless:ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ

Ratthew: but Adam Shiro and i can’t go :(   
Cocaine: sucks to be you

Takashit: :(   
Dickweed: okay, but actually, a GSA would be great

Gremlin: hecc yeah

Allarming: I’ll ask dad

Allarming: he says he’ll as principle Santos

Allarming: which might take a while

Allarming: yooooooo this kid in interior design keeps making fun of feminism i’m ready to throw some haannnnnds

Ramen: DAMN BABE I’M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU

Sharpshooter: DAMN ME TOO

Takashit: COUNT ME IN 

Dickweed: hot dog they’ve got the gay power couples against them

Cocaine: i think Shays already on her way to beat their ass

Shayaway: yep

Sunshine: Hot

-

Cocaine: ughhhhh

Cocaine: my partner in Photography is kinda doing this wrong but I don't want to say anything

Cocaine: It’s not like he’s actually going to mess anything up though he’s just been agitating for the whole 7 minutes instead of for the first 30 seconds and then every 30 seconds for 5 seconds 

Cocaine: oh booooooooooooooooooooy

Cocaine: Mr. Hardin just said that if you agitated the whole time instead of the actual time you could mess up the film because of bubbles istg Mark I‘ve carried the entire developing process on my shoulders if you mess up my pictures I’ll strangle you and piss on your body

Sharpshooter: Jesus babe

Cocaine: I don’t want to have to get a whole new thing of film and take more pictures and re-develope istg

Cocaine: yeet I have to go back to working “””””””with my partner”””””””who is doing nothing but talking with his friends

Cocaine: Pidge I’m gonna be late for Chemistry make sure I don't get counted absent

Gremlin: pussy

Cocaine: FUCK I CAN’T JUST STOP AFTER WASHING MY FILM I’M GONNA BE REALLY LATE

Cocaine: guess who left their partner to suffer after I did all my shit

Allarming: you left lance :0

Cocaine: haha fuck off allura

Ramen: :000

-

Ramen: uhhhh

Ramen: Lance just walked out of class

Ramen: and I’m pretty sure he was crying

Sunshine: oh  _ shit _

Sunshine: were you guys listening to music?   
Cocaine: what does that have to do with anything

Ramen: yeah

Sunshine: what was playing

Ramen: Panic! At the disco

Gremlin: oh fuck

Cocaine: where do you think he is

Sunshine: Keith, this is kinda a best friend matter

Cocaine: so I should do nothing?   
Cocaine: I’m his boyfriend am I not allowed to comfort him

Sunshine: this is just something he doesn’t really want anyone else to know

Sunshine: it’s complicated

-

_ Sunshine>Sharpshooter _

Sunshine: babe where are you I can’t find you

Sharpshooter: It’s Corans conference period so I’m with him

Sunshine: are you okay?

Sharpshooter: i just,,,,,, feel  _ really _ bad

Sharpshooter: and then you add a little lot of dysphoria and i’m a mess

Sunshine: :(

Sunshine: i know there's probably not much i can do

Sunshine: but why don’t you just go home?

Sharpshooter: i just don’t want to worry mama :(

Sunshine: she has a right to worry

Sunshine: you aren’t feeling good you should stay home

Sharpshooter: :(

Sunshine: :(

Sharpshooter: :(

Sunshine: babe you really need to go home

Sharpshooter: i’m half-way through the day i’ll be fine

Sunshine: Boo :(

Sunshine: please go home :(

Sharpshooter: ughhhhh

Sharpshooter: coran said i should so fine

Sunshine: love you

Sharpshooter: love you too

Sunshine: talk to Keith he’s pretty worried about you

-

_ Sharpshooter> Cocaine _

Sharpshooter: sorry for worrying you

Cocaine: don’t apologize

Cocaine: it's my job to worry

Sharpshooter: i thought that was my mom’s job

Cocaine: smh in ‘how to be a good bf 101’ they taught that you should always be worried for your s/o

Sharpshooter: damn i must have missed that day

Cocaine: :0

Cocaine: damn it was a good day

Cocaine: okay but seriously, are you okay?

Sharpshooter: not really

Sharpshooter: but i’m going home

Cocaine: <3

Cocaine: get some sleep

Sharpshooter: I want to but i’m afraid of having nightmares

Cocaine: did you have one last night?

Sharpshooter: yeah

Cocaine: do you want to talk about it or ?

Sharpshooter: actually,, yeah

Sharpshooter: i’ll give you some background first though

Sharpshooter: do you remember in 6th when my distant cousin came to stay with us from Cuba?

Cocaine: not really

Sharpshooter: okay, well, her name was Victoria but we called her Tori and she stayed with us for a couple months. 

Sharpshooter: Like September to February

Sharpshooter: she was 18 at the time and had just gotten out of high school, her mom had died a couple years back from cancer, and she was a middle child with like 3(?) older brothers and 2 little sisters

Sharpshooter: i think because she was so much older than me but i really looked up to her. 

Sharpshooter: at the time i was just starting to grow up(?)

Sharpshooter: looking back i can see the start of my depression 

Sharpshooter: i was in a new school (for the first time with Hunk) and my relationship with Logan was starting to falling apart

Sharpshooter: she was super cool and just ??

Sharpshooter: i remember once i came home from school and she was watching vines on our living room floor in her panda onesie (i only know it’s vines because i remember hearing one of Thomas Sanders Storytime vines)

Sharpshooter: and one time after dropping cookies off at someone's house she played centuries by Fall Out Boy and my mom went to change the song and I yelled “wait don’t i like this song!” and then we jammed and later she came into my room and played all of Save Rock And Roll on my pink Princess CD player that i got when i was like 5

Sharpshooter: and once she played Nine In The Afternoon for me and then showed me that meme that has an eye photoshopped on the mood and it took me like forever to get it

Sharpshooter: we took Christmas pictures with her and she was at Thanksgiving and Christmas with us

Sharpshooter: and she put the star on our tree that year and we sat on the floor christmas eve and ate food while watching a christmas story and she gave me Sideways Stories from Wayside School for Christmas that year

Sharpshooter: and i watched Guardians of The Galaxy with her for the first time

Sharpshooter: she ended up going home to ‘visit’ her family but never came back and then in December papa told me she had killed herself

Sharpshooter: and i feel so  _ guilty _ because I have something i like to call ‘depressedar’ which i kinda like the gaydar but i can sense depressed people and i  _ knew _ she needed help and i just didn’t do anything

Sharpshooter: i never got to tell her i love her and i never got to hug her and tell her how much she means to me or thank her for planting the seeds of MCR FOB TOP and Panic in my soul to help me be happy in my darkest time

Sharpshooter: so today 2 years ago she killed herself

Sharpshooter: and last night after staying up crying for like 3 hours straight and listening to save rock and roll and nine in the afternoon on repeat I fell asleep and had a dream where she kept telling me that i could have saved her and how it was all my fault

Sharpshooter: i’m just a little fucked up

Cocaine: babe

Cocaine: first of all

Cocaine: IT IS  **NOT** YOUR FAULT

Cocaine: it is on no way your fault she died

Cocaine: even if you did talk to her, it might not have helped

Cocaine: you can’t beat yourself up. You did nothing wrong

Sharpshooter: but i did nothing right either

Cocaine: It doesn’t matter

Cocaine: you can’t change the past

Cocaine: and i know it’s hard but you have to try to let go of her

Sharpshooter: I’ll try

Cocaine: i love you so fucking much

Sharpshooter: i love you too

Cocaine: do you still feel up for going to The Blamera after school?

Cocaine: you don’t have to I’m just wondering

Sharpshooter: maybe

Sharpshooter: I’ll probably take a nap when i get home so just text me when y’all get out

Cocaine: okay <3

Sharpshooter: <3

-

_ Queer squad _

Takashit: how’s Lance?   
Sunshine: he’s going home

Shayaway: is the group date still on

Cocaine: lance said he might go

Allarming: i still want to go

Cocaine: we can still go if lance doesn’t want to

Ramen: yeet i want a lesbian frap

Takashit: Adam and I can share Gay frap

Dickweed: um noooooooo i want my own 

Takashit: :{((

Dickweed: fine I’ll share

Takashit: :{D

-

Sharpshooter: i woke up with a burning love for my friends when do you guys get out of school

Dickweed: in like 10 minutes

Sharpshooter: i’ll meet y’all at The Balmera

Sharpshooter: I also really want to really want to listen to Pierce The Veil even though i haven’t listened to them in like a year?

Sharpshooter: gonna listen to I’m Low On Gas And You Need A Jacket brb

Sharpshooter: 11/10 just like i remember it

Cocaine: okay we’re here

Sharpshooter: i’ll be there in a sec

Allarming: we see you!   
Sharpshooter: fuck yeah <3 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S THANKSGIVING BREAK AND I WAS SO BURNED OUT AT THE END OF THE WEEK I CRIED BECAUSE WE HAD TO TAKE A QUIZ  
> going to spend Thanksgiving with my grandparents who,,,,,, like Trump,,,, with no friends,,,,, please help me,,,,,,  
> one of my best friends lives outside LA and i have no contact with her because i don't have a phone and evertime i think about it i have a mini anxiety attack because i have no idea if she's okay so yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay  
> Texas is insane this past week it's been like 30-45 and today its 80,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, why why why why why why why why why why  
> I READ ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS AND LOVE THEM SO MUCH IJUST CAN'T RESPOND BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO A03 99% OF THE TIME I LOVE Y'ALL


	26. time for the holidays :D

Takashit: Halsey deserves the world

Dickweed: fact but where did that come from

Takashit: Gasoline came on in the car

Cocaine: he started crying

Ramen: I had the biggest crush on Halsey for the longest time

Sharpshooter: omg me too :0

Ratthew: who didn’t

Gremlin: me

Cocaine: me

Takashit: me

Dickweed: me

Ratthew: >:0

Ratthew: you guys don’t count

Ratthew: you aren’t attracted to women

Dickweed: okay true

Cocaine: guys help New Americana came on

Cocaine:[video sent]

Cocaine:[video sent]

Shayaway: oh my god

Dickweed: omg me too

Takashit: Bitch D}:

Ratthew: shiro don’t text and drive :0

Takashit: I’m at a stop light ratt

Sharpshooter: why tf are y’all up so early ?

Dickweed: why are you up early

Takashit: 1) its 12 and 2) I’m going to the doctor

Cocaine: and he’s dragging me along

Sharpshooter: I’ll have you know I haven’t slept yet and I stayed up all night watching My Hero Academia

Ramen: you good shiro?

Cocaine: lance wtf

Takashit: the doc just has to make sure I’m not dying again

Sharpshooter: idk

Shayaway: again?

Takashit: hopefully he gives me the good news

Ratthew: that your perfectly healthy?

Takashit: that soon the the cold clammy hands of death will take me from this godforsaken planet

Dickweed: this is why i love you

Cocaine: [image sent]

Cocaine: he looks so dead

Ratthew: hit or miss

Takashit: I guess they never miss huh

Dickweed: you got a boyfriend i bet he doesn’t kiss ya

Gremlin: mwah

Sharpshooter: He gon' find another girl and he won't miss ya

Allarming: He gon' skrrt and hit the dab like Wiz Khalifa

Ramen: GUYS

Ramen: when I was at my grandparents I almost killed my cousin and I

Allarming: BABE WHAT

Ramen: yeah I was driving on their property in a four-wheeler and I hit a pothole and we went flying 

Ramen: it was fun

Ramen: also it’s OFFICIALLY CHRISTMAS

Sunshine: ARE WE GOING TO DO 25 DAYS OF SECRET SANTA AGAIN THIS YEAR???

Gremlin: HECC YEAH

Cocaine: AFTER SHIRO AND I GET BACK FROM THE DOCTOR EVERYONE MEET AT OUR HOUSE FOR THE CEREMONY

Dickweed: I’LL GO GET THE STUFF

Gremlin: I’LL GET THE HAT AND CANDLES FROM THE ATTIC

Cocaine: ADAM SET UP THE RUGS AND TABLE

Dickweed: ON IT

-

_ Kogayes _

Kroli: Shiro are you still out?

Takashit: yeah

Kroli: then why did i see Adam run up the stairs

Takashit: sigh

Takashit: It’s time for the 25 days of secret santa ceremony

Cocaine: :)

Achoo: oh god

Achoo: didn’t Pidge try to summon a demon last year?

Cocaine: yep

Takashit: WHAT I DON’T REMEMBER THAT

Cocaine: yeah you tried to convince them not too and then you left to use the bathroom and we did it

Takashit: that little shit

Texas: watch your fucking language shiro

Achoo: what is wrong with my family

Cocaine: a lot

-

_ Queer squad _

Cocaine: WE’RE HOME

Takashit: turns out i’m perfectly healthy :(

Dickweed: babe

Takashit: :{D

Cocaine: EVERYONE HURRY UP AND COME OVER HERE

Gremlin: we’re coming pussy  _ chill _

Takashit: just come in when you get here

Ratthew: yeet

_ RESULTS _

_ [pidge => keith _

_ lance => romelle _

_ keith => matt _

_ shay => allura _

_ matt => shiro _

_ romelle => shay _

_ shiro => lance _

_ adam => hunk _

_ hunk => pidge _

_ allura => adam] _

-

Takashit: Pidge are you going to help anyone this year?

Gremlin: NOPE   
Cocaine: but i’m terrible with gifts :(

Gremlin: sucks to be you

Sunshine: pidge you just hack into everyone's stuff and see what they want

Gremlin: so?

Shayaway: wtf i have no idea what to get

Allarming: me too

Ramen: same

Dickweeed: ditto

Sharpshooter: good think I’m great with gifts :D

Cocaine: fuck off

Sharpshooter: babe I’ll help you :(

Gremlin: nope that’s cheating

Sunshine: no it’s not

Gremlin: it is

Takashit: nope

Ruined: Tits

Boneless: good one babe

Gremlin: titties

Ramen: i love my titties

Sharpshooter: i hate my titties

-

_ sharpshooter>cocaine _

Sharpshooter: okay who do you have?

Cocaine: Matt

Sharpshooter: oh the ratt

Sharpshooter: I’ll show you what to get him causes he’s an easy bitch

Cocaine: who do you have

Sharpshooter: Romelle

Cocaine: what are you getting her?

Sharpshooter: a lesbian flag cause apparently she doesn’t have one and smh the lesbian flag is beautiful

Cocaine: i hope Adam doesn’t have me again

Cocaine: he got me ear plugs and winked

Cocaine: i cried

Sharpshooter: oh boy

-

_ Takashit>Ruined _

Takashit: help me wtf do i get Lance

Ruined: get that little boy a jean jacket, paint the back with a bi flag and then a bunch of patches

Ruined: like a pronouns patch and some fandom ones

Takashit: thanks

Ruined: no prob

-

_ Takashit>Cocaine _

Takashit: psst

Takashit: PSSSST

Cocaine: wat

Takashit: can you ask Lance who his favorite my hero academia character is?   
Cocaine: he has 4, Kirishima, Todoroki, Aizawa and Tokoyami

Takashit: thanks bro

Takashit: also do you have any idea what Greg is ?

Cocaine: uhhhh I think it’s Danny Gonzales’ fanbase name

Takashit: thanks again

-

_ Allarming>Takashit _

Allarming: what does adam want

Takashit: probably some gay shit

Takashit: he’s preparing to take out his homophobic father next time he visits

Takashit: also he’s been wanting a leather jacket to so he can “look super cool”

Takashit: he wants to look like a gay biker even though he’s not

Allarming: thanks boo

Takashit: no problem love

-

_ Shayaway>Ramen _

Shayaway: what would ‘Llura like?

Ramen: she really wants a [check tags cause idr if i made Llura lesbo or not and if not, Pan] pin for her bag and ! she’s getting a septum piercing so you could get her some rings and other jewelry

Shayaway: thanks <3

Ramen: <3

-

_ Ramen>Sunshine _

Ramen: what would Shay like for christmas

Sunshine: she wants a  gavel so she can hit her brother when he does something wrong

Sunshine: she also wants some new clothes so I’ll find out her  sizes and you can go shopping for her

Ramen: thank god

Ramen: thonks

Sunshine: :D

-

_ Dickweed>Sharpshooter and Shayaway _

Dickweed: what do i get Hunk

Dickweed: I’m terrible with gifts help me pls

Shayaway: headbands

Sharpshooter: he has a stuffed bear collection but don’t tell anyone

Shayaway: he needs new headphones

Sharpshooter: a family recipe would be nice

Shayaway:  

-

_ Queer squad _

Sharpshooter: ew detention is 2 hours :(

Dickweed: why tf does my child have detention

Sharpshooter: tarties :(

Gremlin: detention is boring

Ratthew: shut up pidge you’ve never been

Gremlin: i like to pretend i’m a worst student than i am

Gremlin: it makes me feel stronger

Dickweed: I’ve been to detention

Dickweed: it was boring

Sunshine: :0

Sunshine: :00000

Takashit: oh boy are you going to tell  _ that _ story

Dickweed: :D

Dickweed: Long story short (shiro and I were dating) I was caught making out with a guy who was using a Juul and they punished me too :(

Dickweed: it was unfair:(

Sunshine: :0

Gremlin: whats the long story

Takashit: DON’T

Dickweed: fine 

Sharpshooter: Bitch why the FUCK is Kirishima so fucking cute he needs to  _ stop _

Cocaine: :(

Sharpshooter: okay not as cute as keith but he’s still pretty cute

Cocaine: :)

-

Ratthew: eyyy it’s destroy dick december

Gremlin: MATT NO

Ratthew: bring me the bigg tiddy goth gf

Sunshine: MATT NO

Ratthew: matt yes 

Gremlin: I’m going to contact Alex

Ratthew: have fun

Gremlin: they said “lmao tell matt to have fun” why matt

Ratthew: i love them <3

Sharpshooter: lmao

Cocaine: wtf is destroy dick december

Sharpshooter: :0

Ratthew: gross

_ Ratthew removed Cocaine from the chat _

Sharpshooter: :0000000

Sharpshooter: add him back

Ratthew: fine

_ Ratthew added cocaine to the chat _

Cocaine: bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i was going to have keith and lance get eachother but them i said nah   
> My cat keeps getting into fights and :( he's a poor baby  
> UHHHHHHH i have finals in like 2 weeks and I'm NOT fucking ready :((((((((((((((


	27. fun times

Allarming: BAE

Allarming: WE CAN START A GSA

Allarming: WE JUST HAVE TO PICK A WEEKDAY AND OFFICERS

Sharpshooter: Friday

Allarming: yeet okay

Gremlin: wait no one else gets a say in this?

Allarming: nope

Ramen: :(

Allarming: what day do you want honeycomb?

Ramen: i like Friday

Allarming: FRIDAY IT IS

Allarming: okay whos going to be the president, vice president, and treasurer

Dickweed: Shiro should be the president

Allarming: and since shiro is the president he gets to pick the officers

Takashit: wat

Allarming: pick your officers

Takashit: uh Allura as VP, and Hunk as treasurer

Cocaine: :(

Takashit: bitch i don’t trust you

Allarming: okay we can meet next Friday in my dad's room

Allarming: they’ll announce in on the announcements

Ratthew: yeet

Gremlin: fun fact Hans Christian Andersen was born one day before me 

Sharpshooter: wasn’t he like, Bi

Gremlin: yep

Cocaine: wait canonicaly right?

Sharpshooter: “canonicaly” 

Cocaine: eyy shut up you know what i mean

Sharpshooter: also yes

Ratthew: wait whos that again

Sunshine: the guy that wrote the little mermaid

Sunshine: the original not the disney version

Ratthew: a bi icon

Sharpshooter: yes

Ramen: the little mermaid is actually a really sad story :(

Allarming: i fucking know right

Sharpshooter: lmao it’s actually about how he fell in love with some dude and you know society wouldn’t allow them to be together and lmao a mood

Cocaine: babe i’m right here

Sharpshooter: :0

Takashit: the disney version killed homophobia

Shayaway: get Lin Manuel Miranda to write a musical about hans christian andersen and his crushes

Allarming: i’m sliding into his DMs

Ramen: LMM is following my aunt hold on let me get her to DM him

Allarming: bitch hold on wtf

Ramen: yeah my aunt is a broadway actor

Sharpshooter: BITCH WTF

Ramen: is “my niece and her ‘posse of gay friends’ ‘demand’ you write a musical about Hans Christian Andersen because ‘he’s a bi icon and deserves his own musical’” good

Sunshine: perfect

Sharpshooter: WAIT TELL HIM I WOULD DIE FOR HIM

Ramen: she was actually chatting with him when i asked her so lmao we’re going to get a response right away

Ramen: BITCH [image sent]

Sharpshooter: OWO

Allarming: i’m 

Allarming: fuck

Takashit: UMM

Takashit: these girls in my calculus class don’t know who either Bo Burnham or John Mulaney are  

Sharpshooter: WHAT

Takashit: THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW BO BURNHAMS VINES

Ratthew: WHAT

Allarming: um they’re going down

Cocaine: even  _ i _ know who bo burnham and john mulaney are

Ramen: OwO

Ratthew: wheres that picture of that really aggressive OwO face

Sharpshooter: *aggressively OwO’s*

Ratthew: NO

Sharpshooter: *AGGRESSIVELY OWO’S*

Ratthew: N O

Sharpshooter: *A G G R E S S I V-

Ratthew: fucking finally

Gremlin: ur welcome

Cocaine: :(

Sunshine: fuck keith is sad :(

Sharpshooter: i arise to comfort my boyfriend and best friend

Cocaine: :D

Sunshine: :DD

Rattew: damn

-

_ cocaine>sharpshooter _

Cocaine: :(

Sharpshooter: babe whats wrong

Cocaine: i’m not feeling good :(

Sharpshooter: I’m nymooing where are you

Cocaine: photography :(

Sharpshooter: ask to go to the bathroom i’m outside

Cocaine: coming

-

_ Queer squad _

Allarming: :0

Allarming: :0

Allarming: we’re doing blackout poetry i’m going to make mine really gay

Allarming: you bet my ass it’s going to be about romelle   
Ramen: :0

Allarming: :0

_ Ramen changed Allarming’s name to Alluring _

Alluring: babe :0

_ Alluring changes Ramen’s name to Honeycomb _

Honeycomb: babe :0

Gremlin: wtf is going on

Honeycomb: love 

_ Cocaine changed Sharpshooters name to Bitch _

Bitch: :0000

Cocaine: :D

Takashit: aaaaah young love

Cocaine: shiro your not even 18 yet

Takashit: rood

Ratthew: me [image sent]

Bitch: same

Cocaine: me too

Bitch: :0

Cocaine: :0

Alluring: :0

Dickweed: bitch i’m fuckkinggg

Dickweed: mmmmmm

Takashit: babe whats wrong

Dickweed: fucking 

Dickweed: this little transphobic/homophobic freshman is calling Erin it and i’m going to fucking mmmmmm

Takashit: :)))   
Takashit: i’m gonna fucking beat their ass

Bitch: in good news someone in my class is wearing a my hero academia jacket so :0

Cocaine: i always seem to have for him. stuck in my head

Ratthew: whats everyones favorite color this is an emergency everyone go

Bitch: blue

Takashit: purple or black

Cocaine: shiro ur fucking emo

Cocaine: also red

Takashit: :(

Alluring: pink

Sunshine: yellow

Gremlin: green

Honeycomb: yellow too :0

Sunshine: :0

Shayaway: green

Dickweed: orange

Ratthew: omg mine orange too :0

Dickweed: :0

Cocaine: my stomach wants to YEET my fucking lunch

Bitch: go home 

Cocaine: i refuse

Takashit: I’m gonna call mom

Cocaine: I’m fiiiiiiiiine

Bitch: I’m here to tell everyone I’m dragging Keith to the nurse because he probably has a fever

Cocaine: he’s actually dragging me

Cocaine: [video sent]

Takashit: :)

Bitch: fun fact he has a fever of like 100

Takashit: BITCH WTF 

Cocaine: turns out I’m not fine

Rattew: omg keith

Alluring: :0 :0 KEITH :0 :0

Cocaine: whoops

Shayaway: oh on keith

Cocaine: eyyyyy moms here i’m going now

Bitch: i’m going to fucking miss you

Cocaine: <3

Bitch: I’ll come after school and give you some of mama's soup

Sunshine: that shits the best

Shayaway: it is

Sunshine: i still can’t make it like she can tho

Bitch: no one makes it like mama

Gremlin:damn right

-

Bitch: FUCKING GOOD NEWS THE SECOND I TURN 16 I’LL GO ONE T!!

Cocaine: **_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ **

Ramen: !!

Ramen: i remember my first estrogen shot…. 

Bitch: i’m so fucking ready :D

Bitch: it might be like 7 months away but i’m fucking ready

Bitch: also i’m on my way keith

Cocaine: :D

Takashit: save some for me

Cocaine: no :D

Takashit: :((

Bitch: i’m heeeeeeeere

Cocaine: just come in I’m in my room

Bitch: your parents don’t mind?

Takashit: they’ve had to live with both Matt and Adam just letting themselves in so yeah they’re pretty chill with it

Bitch: oh yeet

Honeycomb: now i want soup :(

Alluring: I’ll make you some :0

Honeycomb: :D

Gremlin: ew romance

Ratthew: offended

Gremlin: suck a dick

Ratthew: :0

Gremlin: :D

Bitch: who the fuck new keith sneezed like an actual kitten

Cocaine: fuck of lance

Bitch: nah

Cocaine: :0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i was born the same day as hans christian anderson so i feel connected to him  
> damn pinof 10 was 11/10  
> is you want to read an actually good fanic heres my favorite ever https://archiveofourown.org/series/1083213


	28. *fortnite dances* hey guys finals suck

_ Queer squad _

_ Bitch changed the group chat to Ho Ho Homo _

Bitch: there we go

Bitch: i forgot to do that december 1st

Honeycomb: my stomach growl but it’s only first period :(

Bitch: i wish one of y’all was in English with me

Bitch: i’m so lonely

Cocaine: get ready bitch i will come to give my unconditional love and support 

Bitch: :0

Bitch: thanks boo :0

Sunshine:yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sunshine: WE’RE WATCHING POLAR EXPRESS IN WHAP

Sunshine: HECCCCCCCC YEAH

Bitch: :0000000000

Shayaway: we’re doing work in Spanish :/

Bitch: lmao suk

Shayaway: check ur privilege lance >:(

Bitch: :0

Ratthew: SQUARE UP THOTS

Bitch: :(

Ratthew: sorry babe

Ratthew: SQUARE UP THOTS AND LANCE

Rattew: WHO TF IS MY SECRET SANTA I WANT A HUG

Gremlin: not until December 25th :D

Ratthew: then i’ll hug everyone

Alluring: !! Ratt hugs are the best :D

Dickweed: can confirm

Takashit: he is smol and perfect hug size

Ratthew: :0

Ratthew: thanks

Cocaine: what you’d get?

Ratthew: a shirt that says yheat 

Honeycomb: amazing

Bitch: what’s everyone’s favorite stuff so far

Alluring: i got a some really cute rings

Dickweed: I got a leather jacket

Honeycomb: I got a big ‘ol lesbian flag and it’s ?? 11/10 i cry

Cocaine: i got this really nice scabbard

Sunshine: someone’s family recipe

Takashit: a jacket that says “gay jock don’t test me”

Shayaway: a nice pair of high-waisted jeans

Gremlin: well i’m pretty sure mine will end up becoming a killer robot so i can’t say yet

Bitch: mine has to be my pin that says “Love Your Local Trans Meme”

Cocaine: UwU

Bitch: i just rewatched over the garden wall and, wtf ? i forgot how weird and like,,,, sad it was

Shayaway: I KNOW RIGHT

Cocaine: damn OTGW is 11/10 

Sunshine: the ending was so like sad,,,, but not ?? it was just,,,,,

Ratthew: it’s a masterpiece of a show

Honeycomb: damn it really is

Alluring: it had such a bittersweet ending :( 

Dickweed: in other news, I’m gay

Cocaine: :0

Takashit: you’re  _ gay _

Dickweed: Yep,,,,, I’m gay

Alluring: don’t worry Adam ! we accept you!

Ratthew: i don’t

Dickweed: Matt, i thought we were friends!

Ratthew: not if your agy]

Dickweed: agy]

Cocaine: agy]

Gremlin: agy]

Shayaway: agy]

Takashit: agy]

Alluring: agy]

Sunshine: agy]

Bitch: agy]

Honeycomb: agy]

Ratthew: stop bullying me :(

Bitch: nope

Ratthew:  :0

Ruined: agy]

Boneless: agy]

Bitch: stop >:( stalking >:( the >:( chat >:(

Boneless: no >:)

Dickweed: RATT

Ratthew: :( wat

Dickweed: if u touch my freeeakin Oboe again i will kill all your reeds

Ratthew: ADAM THOSE ARE LIKE $18 EACH DON’T YOUR FUCKING DARE

Dickweed: THEN DON’T TOUCH MY OBOE

Ratthew: I JUST WANTED TO LOOK AT IT

Dickweed: DON’T TOUCH IT >:(

Ratthew: FINE

Bitch: what instruments does everyone play?

Dickweed: oboe

Ratthew: Bassoon and Percussion

Alluring: i took Violin lessons until i was 15

Honeycomb: piano

Takashit: neither keith nor i play any instruments

Gremlin: yeah i don’t play any

Sunshine: me neither

Bitch: i play the uke and guitar

Cocaine: halfway to becoming Tyler Joseph

Bitch: (~˘▾˘)~

Sunshine: :00000

Bitch: Danny's new song is a fucking bop

Ratthew: fuck yeah

Bitch: I’ve had it stuck in my head all freaking day

Cocaine: *whips* hey kids

Gremlin: *screams of children*

Takashit: for the love of god

Ratthew: *Dabs* yeah dad

Alluring: God has abandoned us *fortnight dances*

Dickweed: *nae naes* I can’t wait for death

Bitch: is this what hell looks like

Honeycomb: u don’t know true pain until you have a 13-year-old brother

Shayaway: I share your pain

Honeycomb: *shivers* the things I’ve seen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might update tomorrow or Sunday but don't hold me to that  
> in case any of you care Iida/Midoryia/Todoroki is a cute ass ship ?  
> SEASON 8 IS A CURSE AND DIDN'T HAPPEN FUCK OFF VLD   
> i have too many emotions about season 8 i've just been listening to for him, sick of losing soulmates, thank you next and youth on repeat please help me Hy Hero Academia is the only think keeping me afloat send me good klance and adashi fic pls :'(  
> tbh i've probably read all of them but maybe you'll send a rare one that will keep the canon off my mother fucking mind  
> are y'all ready for Advengers Endgame cause I'm not.  
> (i don't care if its angst fluff or shitpost but pls no death i can't deal with that shit i will die)  
> *fortnite dances* thanks season 8 and finals have killed the last 2 of my braincells send ur spare ones so i get through christmas and new years so i can see my girlfriend again *dabs*  
> this 5 year old i'm babysitting: i have a girlfriend  
> me: lmao me too  
> him: :0  
> Happy Holidays please kill me :D


	29. pls kill me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS

Alluring: I’m not ready for finals

Bitch:UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Takashit: omg same

Dickweed: lmao me

Cocaine: time to enter a coma

Shayaway: omg

Gremlin: keith, no

Ratthew: Jesus take the wheel

Bitch: I’m just going to listen to Boys Will Be Bugs until all my problems disappear

Cocaine:,,, babe,,,,,, that's not how we deal with this,,,,,,,,,

Sunshine: boo,,,,,, no,,,,,,,, you can’t,,,,,,, not again

Bitch: aw yeet

Bitch: *dabs* I’m so tired

Ruined: Lance you can’t keep doing this

Bitch: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Gremlin: Lance 

Bitch: uhh finals are so stressful whyyy

Bitch: damn I just started Leave This City and now the bells about to ring :((

Dickweed: Lance

Bitch: I need hot chocolate and snuggles

Sunshine: we’ve got like 2 class periods left so we can all snuggle after school 

Honeycomb: imma snuggle with you rn idc what Mrs.Mimes says :D

Cocaine: Wish that was me

Alluring: wish that was me

-

Bitch: SNUGGLE TIME!

Honeycomb: HECC YEAH

Sunshine: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shayaway: LET'S MEET AT THE CAFE

Alluring: EEYYYE

Takashit: LETS GOOOO

Dickweed: YEE

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ Ho ho homo _

Bitch: hey gays

Cocaine: what babe

Bitch: I’m going to *whip* have a mental breakdown because of finals *dabs*

Alluring: BABE NO

Sunshine: boo we went over this :(

Ratthew: I mean me too

Shayaway: guys no

Takashit: lets just all take a deep breath and think rationally

Gremlin: Lance I can help you study

Sunshine: yeah me too

Cocaine: we can all meet and study together?

Shayaway: at the cafe?

Alluring: the seniors can all come meet at my house if you want

Ratthew: sure

Bitch: okay,,,, this is good

Ruined: can i come Allura

Alluring: everyone is invited

Shayaway: ^^

Honeycomb: I’m a Junior tho

Boneless: my Junior friends and I are getting together you can come

Honeycomb: aw yeet

-

Bitch: i don’t feel as bad about finals as i did before so thats nice

Cocaine: LANCE

Cocaine: BABE

Bitch: ??

Cocaine: I FORGOT

Cocaine: WE’RE DOING PORTRAITS IN PHOTOGRAPHY

Cocaine: AND YOU ARE BY FAR THE CUTEST ONE HERE SO I NEED TO DO A PHOTOSHOOT

Bitch: O/////O

Bitch: BABE

Bitch: first, ur wrong i’m not the cutest

Cocaine: you wanna fight me bitch

Bitch: yes

Cocaine: babe, no

Dickweed: thats gay

Cocaine: shut your god damn mouth Adam

Takashit: :0

Takashit: don’t talk to your father that way

Cocaine: OH SHIT

Gremlin: RUN

Cocaine: zoom

Ratthew: I wanna be tracer

Gremlin: i’m already tracer

Bitch: no

Gremlin: >:00

Bitch: SHIT

Cocaine: I’ve had this one angsty song stuck in my head so I’m drawing angst I’m sorry

Bitch: :0

Bitch: >:0

Cocaine: i forget you follow my insta

ruined: WHAT DID KEITH DO

Bitch: he said i was the most handsome boy in the universe

Bitch: it’s obviously him >:(

Bitch: STOP POSTING THESE ON YOUR STORY

Cocaine: no

Takashit: young love

Bitch: [Image send]

Takashit: keith :((

Cocaine: STOP EXPOSING ME

Bitch: no :D

Cocaine: :(

Gremlin: Gay

Alluring: :0

Honeycomb: babe,,,,,, you're gay

Alluring: >:0000

Sharpshooter: my theatre teacher has a coffee maker we can use but my anxiety is like “lmao no don’t get that coffee until someone else goes to get it’ and no one else is getting some :(

Takashit: teacher goals

Boneless: my aunts family is Mormon so they're not allowed to drink coffee but my one cousin is a rebel™ and had coffee with me and Ronnie once

Ruined: excuse me I had tea

Ruined: and they liked tea more than coffee

Dickweed: don’t make this into coffee VS tea pls

Sharpshooter: someones going to make coffee brb

Sharpshooter: i’m gonna wait a sec tho

Sharpshooter: got my coffee

Gremlin: damn

Gremlin: would your teacher mind of like all of us came and got some

Sharpshooter: probably

Takashit: what about just me and pidge

Cocaine: and me

Sharpshooter: i asked her if i could make cups for my friends and she said yeah

Gremlin: theatre kids are weird

Ratthew: yep

Shayaway: BRUH WE’RE WATCHING MR. BEAN

Honeycomb: mood

Shayaway: i have no idea what’s going on but i’m afraid

Honeycomb: the biggest mood

Boneless: POST UP BABE I TEXTED MY COUSIN ABOUT WHETHER THEY PREFER TEA OR COFFEE AND THEY SAID “IDK BOTH ARE PRETTY GREAT” FUCK OFF

Ruined: :((

Ruined: look i might be in a healthy gay relationship but She by Dodie is a fucking mood

Boneless: :0

Boneless: omg same

Honeycomb: damn i love Dodie

Bitch: i would die for her

Ruined: same

Cocaine: remember that one time Takashi Shirogane drank alcohol and cried for 3 hours about how cute Adam is?

Takashit: I DIDN'T KNOW THE PUNCH WAS SPIKED

Cocaine: IT WAS A HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PARTY WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

Takashit: I DON'T KNOW

Takashit: RESPECT?

Dickweed: damn what’s going on at the broganes house 

Dickweed: aw you think I’m cute 

Takashit: we’ve been dating for like a year and a half why do you think I stick around?

Dickweed: probably because I can cook

Takashit: i mean,,,,,,,,,, you’re not wrong

Dickweed: :0

-

Honeycomb: christmas is here !!

Bitch: :00000

Bitch: i'm stressed AF about seeing about my extended family and having to re come out

Ruined: same

Bitch: is Tia samantha coming?

Ruined: i don't know

Ruined: i hope not

Bitch: guess we'll find out

Cocaine: HECC YEAH MY GAY UNCLES ARE COMINNNNNNNNNG

Takashit: sigh

Alluring: my family's delivering presents to everyone so be ready for my dads

Bitch: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ratthew: OwO

Gremlin: no

Ratthew: OwO whats this

Gremlin: no

_ Gremlin kicked Ratthew from the chat _

Dickweed: :(( don't kick the life of the party out

_ Takashit added Ratthew to the chat _

Ratthew: :( Pidge

Gremlin: :D

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dabs* Christmas is stressful  
> happy holidays <3 <3


	30. Chapter 30

_ Ho Ho Homo _

Bitch: my entire family fought tia Samantha

Ruined: [video sent]

Cocaine: i stan

Takashit: i think we all do

Honeycomb: OWO

Bitch: well my post-holiday depression is setting in time to isolate myself 

Cocaine: BABE NO

Ratthew: BABE NO

Alluring: BABE NO

Bitch: hahaha

_ Takashit changed the chat name to Please Help Us _

Bitch: omg same

Sunshine: Lance 

Bitch: :D

Sunshine: I’m going to find you and force you to love yourself

Cocaine: too late i’m already doing that

Sunshine: >:0   
Cocaine: >:))   
Bitch: my kink is love and support

Cocaine: :)

Ratthew: wtf lance

Bitch: STOP KINK SHAMING ME

Ratthew: KINK SHAMING IS MY KINK

Bitch: AHHHH

Takashit: you guys are giving me grey hairs

Dickweed: babe

Takashit: :)

Ratthew: The Boy in the Bubble is a fucking BOP

Bitch: YES QUEEN

Bitch: anyone else want to fucking die

Takashit: lmao me

Dickweed: BABE   
Cocaine: BABE   
Bitch: eyyyyy

Honeycomb: you guys need help

Bitch: i mean your not wrong,,,,

Gremlin: lance :(

Bitch: oh no

Gremlin: Lance :)

Bitch: OH NO

Sunshine: :)

Bitch: HUNK NO

Cocaine: >:)

Bitch: B-babe??

Bitch: help hyukoijdfzsdfcgbjh

Cocaine: have you ever seen that picture of Brendon Urie eating a potato?

Cocaine: like he’s just biting a potato like it’s an apple

Alluring: wat

Cocaine: he bite the potato

Alluring: I just searched the photo and wtf Brendon

Bitch: Y’all sometimes I forget Aizawa canonically wears hot pink sweats and ???? I love him even more

Bitch: Present Mic gives off chaotic Bi energy I claim him

Gremlin: Present Mic is a chaotic bi

Bitch: erasermic?

Gremlin: erasermic

Takashit: uh i’m angry that everyone keeps blaming once side for the government shut down

Takashit: it’s not  _ just  _ the Democrat’s fault

Takashit: it’s not  _ just _ the Republican's fault

Takashit: they both have a part in the blame 

Takashit: i’m tired of stupid people

Takashit: i’m going to sleep for 10 years

Dickweed: babe no

Dickweed: wait for me :(

Ratthew: lets all sleep

Sunshine: yes

Sunshine: let's all take a nap

Cocaine: sleep is for the weak

Alluring: then I am very weak

Gremlin: I would agree with you keith, but I haven’t slept in like 2 days so a nap sound pretty good rn

Takashit: PIDGE HOLT

Gremlin: YEET NIGHT DAD I’M GOING TO TAKE A NAP NOW SEE YOU LATER

Ratthew: Shiro you’ve known pidge for 5 years, are you really surprised

Takashit: i’m not surprised just disappointed

Bitch: me @ me

Cocaine: :(

Bitch: sometimes i wish Deku would Detroit smash me

Ratthew: idk if that means you want to fuck Deku or if you want him to fucking obliterate you

Bitch: yes

Cocaine: babe no

Bitch: :0

Sunshine: why isn’t everyone sleeping

Bitch: fine I’ll go to bed

Bitch: love ya keith <3

Cocaine: <3

-

Gremlin: every time i see that grape i want to punch him in the face

Ratthew: it’s true we were re-watching the series and they almost punched the screen when he came on

Bitch: he seems like the type of guy that would make really gross comments about lesbians and yell homophobic slurs at gay men

Bitch: I feel like all the guys have Shiro level muscles and honest to got i would die for any of them (grape baby is excluded when i talk about the boys)

Ratthew: FUCKING RIGHT

Ratthew: I would kill for Aizawa/Iida to run me over

Gremlin: lmao whats that like

Bitch: as a trans kid I claim Kirishima fight me

Ratthew: Alex claims Kaminari as genderfluid

Gremlin: i claim Iida as Aro Ace

Ratthew:  **Shigaraki but feet**

Gremlin: NO

Boneless: the things Jirou must hear

Boneless: especially after the dorms

Ratthew: oh boy is she on the same floor as the grape stain

Shayaway: no but Deku is next door

Gremlin: poor Deku

Shayaway: you know who’s the best hero?

Shayaway: snipe

Bitch: I WOULD DIE FOR SNIPE   
Gremlin: snipe= keiths true form

Bitch: OH MY GOD   
Cocaine: wat

Ratthew: NO

Boneless: Lance u fuckin Snipe?   
Cocaine: i am confused

Bitch: babe,,,,,  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgxmxjECl0k ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgxmxjECl0k)

Cocaine: I’m not a fucking cowboy >:(

Takashit: debatable

Takashit:[image sent]

Bitch: saved

Cocaine: SHIRO

Sunshine: is this what hell looks like

Honeycomb: yes

Alluring: Y’ALL READY FOR GSA ???

Ruined: HELL YEAH

Sunshine: y’all ever just love someone so much you’re heart just _ !!! _ ’s

Ratthew: that made absolutely no sense yet at the same time i understand

Bitch: Y’all u_u

Bitch: Me and keith are getting divorced

Cocaine: I SAID I WAS SORRY

Takashit: what he’d do

Bitch: dab while saying ‘yeehaw’

Ruined: keith wtf

Ruined: i can no longer accept you as my brother-in-law

Cocaine: :((

Bitch: succ it :0

Cocaine: :’(

Bitch: :0

Bitch: don’t cry babe

Cocaine: :)

Shayaway: my brother just started crying because his chips went stale

Bitch: omg same

Ruined: once Lance dropped a sock and said “why has god forsaken me”

Ruined: once Agathe came home from school and laid in the middle of the road and begged mama to run her over

Cocaine: I once caught Shiro doing makeup in the mirror and he said “i want eyeliner sharp enough to cut my enemies throats” and i think about that a lot

Takashit: :/

Bitch: Y'all i’m seeing cavetown soon and ?? !!!

Gremlin: FUCK YEAAAAAH

Sunshine: OwO HECK YEAH

Dickweed: GIVE ME A V!

Bitch: V!

Dickweed: GIVE ME AN O!

Gremlin: O!

Dickweed: GIVE ME A R!

Ratthew: R!

Dickweed: GIVE ME AN E!

Takashit: NO!

Honeycomb: E!

Dickweed: GIVE ME A VORE!

Bitch: VORE!

Ratthew: VORE!   
Gremlin: VORE!

Honeycomb: VORE!

Sunshine: this is sin

Dickweed: yes

Ratthew: y’all, not gonna lie,,,, i’d smash young All Might

Bitch: Matthew Holt wtf

Gremlin: WTF

Ratthew: stop attacking me :((

Takashit: no 

Ratthew: i always knew my ex would betray me, but u didn’t expect it to be like this

Dickweed: suck it he’s mine now

Ratthew: fuck you Adam

Dickweed: nah I’ve got Takashi

Gremlin: gross lets not

Cocaine: okay no

Ratthew: y’all know how I fuckin love my GF right?

Ratthew: anyways so she’s visiting soon

Ratthew: i mean her parents are here for business stuff but she got dragged along but we’re going to meet up for a date

Bitch: oWo

Gremlin: WE GET TO MEET THE GIRL?

Ratthew: i have made a mistake

Takashit: you have

Sunshine: maybe we should,,,, leave him alone on his date?

Gremlin: FUCK NO

Ratthew: Hunk is the only valid one in this chat

Sunshine: i tried matt :/

Ratthew: and i respect that

Honeycomb: :0

Gremlin: I’m meeting Alex and no and can stop me :)

Ratthew: pls no

_ Dickweed changed their name to DAMN _

DAMN: yeeT

Shayaway: no cursing on this good christian minecraft server

Ratthew: fuck

Shayaway: :((

Ratthew: I’m sorry

Shayaway: good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to update. i haven't been feeling that great  
> school fucking sucks :(  
> get your vaccines kids

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments cute my depression


End file.
